Professional Life of IAS Officers' Spouses

Victor

@Victor :
I do not know what you have been smoking, but your comments show a medieval and narrow outlook towards women. It is interesting that you implicitly allude that women with careers and who are married are more susceptible to have an extramarital affair and not a married man! Any proof? Or are we "unrealistic" people missing something?

Your "reality" reeks of a stagnant mind, a deep disrespect for women and basic lack of decency. I am shocked that a civil services aspirant has such deplorable views!!

I know what is medieval and narrow. Today people supporting PROSTITUTION and ADULTERY are considered as Modern and open minded. This is because they have been brain washed by films which has been their sole entertainment since their birth.

On contrary, your "reality" shows a deep respect for prostitution and high support for Free Sex. But i am not shocked at all of your views because i know how brainwashed and westernized minds behave...

corona

@Victor
Umm, which world are you living in, brother ? are you naive enough to think that this kind of thing happens with so-called 'empowered' women? Have you ever lived in a village? Everything goes on there, including some rather horrible things like blatant sexual exploitation by landlords. These kind of 'stories' are made up by individuals like your friend to absolve themselves of guilt for running after a married woman. Take both with a pinch of salt.

Sexual exploitation is a much different thing than a consciously made illicit relation. Instead of debating with me, why not just ask any of your friends working in such open environment cities like Bangalore/Pune/Hyderabad/Delhi/Mumbai. You will get answer yourself.... provided you are daring enough to accept it from your friend else you will call his narration also as a "Made up story"

So working women are more adulterous than working men?
Let me ask you a basic question: Who do you think these women are sleeping with? It's basic math.
Say no to double standards my friend.

Can you first of all mention that by which "high level of your ENGLISH standards" have you came to conclusion that i have ever compared who is more adulterous?

What else are you implying? you only singled out women as if they'd automatically indulge in adultery once they taste the "freedom" that you're talking about. Can't a working woman staying away from her husband also have a similar concern about her spouse indulging in adultery? but you won't mention that would you?

roshhan

@Victor : Bro , whatever you are saying is not completely wrong . I know friends who have even showed me pics and videos of cases that you are talking about. I know girls who sleep around and also guys who sleep around. Yet , I cannot say that you are completely right.

Let me tell you this with an example. ROAD ACCIDENTS . If you would have been discussing road accidents , you would shriek out that don't drive vehicles , people get killed in accidents and some even get kidnapped ,etc But the majority of others would say that you are hyping the issue. And so many of their relatives are managing their vehicles on road well, they have not been killed. See , it's not that everyone meets with an accident and gets killed. However there is an element of truth in that . The statistics around the world say that the no. of people dying in road accidents is more than those killed in any other circumstances.

Despite knowing that we can get killed , we seat behind the steering wheel and ride , don't we ? Why ? Because firstly we believe that such things won't happen to us , secondly we don't want accidents to happen to us , so we take care.

Similarly to your advice regarding adultery of women working in MNCs . The majority won't believe you. Why ? Because firstly we believe that such things won't happen to us , secondly we don't want accidents to happen to us , so we take care. ( Getting the hint ?)

So, don't shout such things on public forums . Else people will call you medieval , archaic and what not. Just as they would call you coward to drive on the road . You know the truth , I know the truth and even other's know the truth . Just take care that such accidents don't happen to us.

Keep calm , prepare well and make intelligent choice for yourself in DAF . Don't go blindly after IAS/IPS. In addition to this there is something I would like you to be wary of, chose a girl whom you can trust. Don't just marry any girl else you gonna spoil her life out of suspicion. Earlier I had such apprehensions too . But now I have matured a little bit ( I am 25, unmarried , dumped thrice, always tried to be a good loyal lover ).

Stay happy and best wishes for your career and life ahead.

Victor

If your friend his involved in a relationship with a married woman, why is it only the woman's fault? Your friend is committing a wrong too, but you are being judgmental only about the woman's character. A man committing adultery is Macho, a woman committing adultery is a Slut/Whore! Right? (Pardon my use of the words). Fidelity in a relationship, my friend, is two way road.
In present day workplaces such things may be happening indeed. Some women do employ such tactics to climb up the corporate ladder. But to blame such incidences on the equal opportunities/rights to women is wrong because one, you are absolving the men who indulge in these 'exploitative' practices, and two, you are generalizing about all working women being involved in relationships outside their marriage.

Throughout history, in most cultures around the world, polygyny has been a norm, including India. Now that women have got the independence to choose or leave their partner (this number is minuscule though), some patriarchal egos get hurt and the bogey of break-up of societal norms is created to dumb down the equal rights movements. Again, why blame high divorce rates on women only?

P.S. And stop criticizing porn as a western thing, our great Indian Civilization immortalized the Erotica in Temples and Texts more than one and a half millennia ago.

It has been considered a woman' fault because biologically it has been proven that the men hormone is much more active than a women and hence MALE is called a active partner while female as Passive partner. So when a passive partner i.e. female herself becomes adulterated, then the larger share of blame is on her. No matter how much you debate, it is biological that men are more sexually active because of biological make up and you cannot change that by a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT or any such thing.

And regarding ERotica in temples and texts, i would like to remind you that a civilization with over 5000 years cannot be referenced by 1-2 temples and texts when the Majority of Indian texts praise Brahmacharya... But western people quote those exceptions as Generalisations and the majority of texts (praising Brahmacharye) are discarded. Further it is unfortunate that people blindly follow such westernized ideas...

Victor

What else are you implying? you only singled out women as if they'd automatically indulge in adultery once they taste the "freedom" that you're talking about. Can't a working woman staying away from her husband also have a similar concern about her spouse indulging in adultery? but you won't mention that would you?

Yes, why would i take side of women when there are already 1000's of women rights groups and its blind advocates who always bash men. There is also other side which i advocate. That's it.

You have always heard their side, now hear my side, a democracy

Victor

@Victor : Bro , whatever you are saying is not completely wrong . I know friends who have even showed me pics and videos of cases that you are talking about. I know girls who sleep around and also guys who sleep around. Yet , I cannot say that you are completely right.

Let me tell you this with an example. ROAD ACCIDENTS . If you would have been discussing road accidents , you would shriek out that don't drive vehicles , people get killed in accidents and some even get kidnapped ,etc But the majority of others would say that you are hyping the issue. And so many of their relatives are managing their vehicles on road well, they have not been killed. See , it's not that everyone meets with an accident and gets killed. However there is an element of truth in that . The statistics around the world say that the no. of people dying in road accidents is more than those killed in any other circumstances.

Despite knowing that we can get killed , we seat behind the steering wheel and ride , don't we ? Why ? Because firstly we believe that such things won't happen to us , secondly we don't want accidents to happen to us , so we take care.

Similarly to your advice regarding adultery of women working in MNCs . The majority won't believe you. Why ? Because firstly we believe that such things won't happen to us , secondly we don't want accidents to happen to us , so we take care. ( Getting the hint ?)

So, don't shout such things on public forums . Else people will call you medieval , archaic and what not. Just as they would call you coward to drive on the road . You know the truth , I know the truth and even other's know the truth . Just take care that such accidents don't happen to us.

Keep calm , prepare well and make intelligent choice for yourself in DAF . Don't go blindly after IAS/IPS. In addition to this there is something I would like you to be wary of, chose a girl whom you can trust. Don't just marry any girl else you gonna spoil her life out of suspicion. Earlier I had such apprehensions too . But now I have matured a little bit ( I am 25, unmarried , dumped thrice, always tried to be a good loyal lover ).

Stay happy and best wishes for your career and life ahead.

Agree with you and particularly with the line ---> "Because firstly we believe that such things won't happen to us"

I know that many people debating with me also know that what i am saying is true but they are mentally coward to take a side against dominant view thrown up by media and women rights groups.

eternalsearch

@Victor bhai, kuch lete kyu nahi ? ye soch sehat ke liye achhi nahi hai. btw that ''biological proven'' wala point was really funny...comedy nights with @Victor

Kaka

Lesson learnt for the day: Whenever in doubt call your MNC friends that too in modern cities like Bangalore and Pune. And voila one will have the world of wisdom before himself/herself. How I wish I knew such powers of MNCs before. :P

Victor

@Victor bhai, kuch lete kyu nahi ? ye soch sehat ke liye achhi nahi hai. btw that ''biological proven'' wala point was really funny...comedy nights with @Victor

Yes it was really funny... because of your lack of understanding

Lesson learnt for the day: Whenever in doubt call your MNC friends that too in modern cities like Bangalore and Pune. And voila one will have the world of wisdom before himself/herself. How I wish I knew such powers of MNCs before. :P

No, you can also call your working professional wife (or to be wife) and ask her

Power_of_Shunya

I am just wondering is there a full Gender sensitization course during FC in LBSNAA. If its not there, I guess we urgently need it.
Btw, I think we ll have 1-2 questions on gender issues in this year's Mains Ethics Paper