Hi,
I am sure that at least some of you must have thought about how you being an IAS officer affects your spouse's professional life. I seek your valuable inputs on this matter which would help me to make some important career decisions in next few weeks.
I attempted CSE last year for the first time, with around 7 months of preparation. Gave mains, but could not reach interview stage. I am married for two years, and both me and my wife are working full-time in US. We both are very ambitious career wise (top Engg colleges, top MBAs.. blah blah), and I am sure that my wife has the potential to be very successful in her present career line. I too am satisfied with my present career line, but civil services is something which has always been back in my mind.
Before recommitting myself full-fledged to this journey, I would like to get an idea about challenges/advantages in professional life for the spouses of IAS officers. Some of you must have given a thought about it, and many of you might have known the situation through your friends and family. Please do share them here. Your inputs and thoughts on this would be highly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
Comments
If you join the IAS, the first 10 years of your career will be in the districts of your cadre. If you get a state like Jharkhand/Chattisgarh, you know what I'm talking about. Thereafter you'll be moving to the Secretariat or to the Central Govt. on deputation. Life may become more congruent then for the two of you. If you are in the Police, pretty much the same story. IRS is more urban-areas oriented. IFS of course, much better suited to your life situation.
Having said all this, it's always good to have a working spouse- I see that around me in my family. But um, a situation like yours is unique. I know of only one such couple- the husband took VRS from the IAS after 9 (and a li'l over) years of service and joined McK in Singapore and the wife is a serving bureaucrat. The lady took study leave for 3 years initially and now shuttles between India and SGP, not the most convenient set-up.
Ultimately, it's your call and you guys have to make it work. If both of you feel strongly about the services, go right ahead. Don't even think twice about it.
Good luck! My best to the two of you.
So you want to know the perks for your spouse. Here you go
- First of all self-esteem will be increased. There will be drastic change in social group, friends, and other peer group will be changed.
- As you will be posted in the district in the beginning, Your lady would receive all sort of invitation for opening ceremony of clubs, gym, membership, NGO's , SHG etc etc.. More and more invitation for kitty parties where she will meet the other elite members of society. {If you're thinking that you will decline all this offers because that's not the primary purpose of the job then you're wrong.. Till what extent you will decline..}
- All the time your spouse will receive lucrative investment offer in property, shares, money schemes will be pouring literally from all direction
- Your spouse will be required to accompany you in all marriage, party, and other ceremony because you know you can't go all alone all the time. Your job .. Eventually she will quit because of demanding nature. And so you won't like to see her idea you will set up small industry or factory or small business for them.
This central government jobs are transferable. You never know when you will be transferred to other place unless and untill you have some highly placed source. and i hope you won't like to be working in one city and spouse being in other city. That will be sad part if it happens :-/
I am in a similar situation as yours. Though I am expecting IRS based on this year's result, I will be giving it another shot to try for IAS (or IFS/IPS). My wife works in the tech industry in a managerial role.
The best you can do, assuming you have decided to go down this path, is to choose your top 3-4 cadres in the DAF based on private sector career prospects. So Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore , Hyderabad are perhaps the top choices. Even when you are in the district, your spouse can continue living/working in the city, and you guys are not more than a few hours away from each other. The real issue is when you do make it to IAS or IPS, and end up in a less developed state. It will be great from the point of view of the potential to serve the people, but your spouse will have to severely compromise on the nature of the job - perhaps think about a career in non-profit, academia etc. In IRS and other central services, this is more easily manageable, and I know of people who plan their entire career with postings in the larger metros.
The best (and worst) part of a civil servant's job is that there are many variables - nature of work, location, deputation opportunities etc. There will be a few difficult situations from a personal life point of view - you will have to discuss this with your spouse and come to a common understanding.
Finally, a piece of advice. There will be many people who will tell you that the job of an IAS or IPS is by design or default far superior and noble, and that the spouse's career will have to take a backseat (perhaps suggesting that her role should be restricted to attending social gatherings by your side). This is no longer true in our fast changing society. One's wife's job or career choices will (and should) be as important as one's own. And this should always be respected.
sorry to be so blunt but it'll not be a joyride for an already working wife... the kitty parties and club openings wouldn't give the job satisfaction she'd have in her job... and i doubt if her self-esteem is in need of any boosting...
decision's yours... but that's the bare facts...
Think about it, maybe?
It is true that one spouse in public services of the IAS, IPS variety and the other in a thriving private sector career, will mostly have to stay apart. I have seen such cases even in my own family.
The ideal situation would be if both you and your wife are in the services - but the ultimate decision is your wife's. It is best to discuss these life-changing decisions with your spouse and see which alternative appeals to you both.
I have many friends in Bangalore/Pune who are in IT/software sector and they very well narrate what is happening in the name of "women empowerment".
One of my friends in Accenture tells that he had physical relations with her co-staff who is married and her husband is in ONGC. Her husband has blind faith in her and thinks that he is giving some sort of freedom to his wife to achieve her professional goals.
But eventually if you would like to verify it, you can call up and ask any of your friends in such areas about what is happening there? There has been flood of such incidents in which wife living apart from her husband in other town is eventually making full use of her freedom, and their stupid husbands take pride in the feeling of giving their wives free hand in a society where free sex is on bloom.
The friend i am telling about has just had a recent encounter (i.e. sex) with that girl (married) in Royal Orchid hotel in Bangalore. There are plenty of such incidents that are on rise and that is totally NATURAL because a woman today has multiple options to satisfy her lust if her husband is living outside.
This is also the reason that educated and professional girls nowadays prefer those men to be their husbands who can give her FREEDOM because they know that such stupid men are a boon for them and they can enjoy this Freedom with any men of their liking....
[Mod note- Sexist and chauvinistic. Please refer to Forum Rule 1(vi)]