[Life] To people over 29 + , who are still 'aspirants'

tinya

Hi. this is a wonderful thread. knowing there are so many people who are share the same fears and doubts makes my own heart a little lighter. here's my two cents to the thread.

I'm a girl and turned 28 this year. gave my 1st attempt in 2011 but failed to clear mains by around 20 marks. pressure at home to get married reached its peak and i focused too much on being confused that i failed prelims in 2012. just like that, a whole attempt slipped by and i was heart broken. but i ran away from home and focused just on civils in 2013. during this process, i endured a long drawn out break up of a many years long relationship but i told myself to keep going. now that the mains is over, i can't help looking back at the last 4 years and wondering if all this would be worth it. the uncertainty ahead is too mind boggling to be pondered.

but i realized that this is what it takes. this phase of loneliness, of bankrupt broken hardship is what perseverance feels like and that is what every aspirant talks about. the age factor is certainly disturbing but i think we complicated it by comparison with friends and by facebook. like someone here said, this exam gives everyone something to take - values, perspectives and knowledge. this exam gives every aspirant a story to remember. and if you survive everything, it also rewards you very handsomely

bluepensioner

@dhaakad_chhora Almost everyone wrote a long post in this thread. I wrote two! :-P I guess thats what a thread like this does to you. I share a lot in common with you. :-)
Bhai your signature line, the one from Shawshank Redemption, shouldn't have the second 'good' I guess. Wasn't it "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies"? Sorry for the stupid remark. :-P One of my all time favourite movies too. :-) Wish you all the best.

@tinya hats off yar.. all the best.. :-)

dhaakad_chhora

@dhaakad_chhora Almost everyone wrote a long post in this thread. I wrote two! :-P I guess thats what a thread like this does to you. I share a lot in common with you. :-)
Bhai your signature line, the one from Shawshank Redemption, shouldn't have the second 'good' I guess. Wasn't it "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies"? Sorry for the stupid remark. :-P One of my all time favourite movies too. :-) Wish you all the best.

My bad.. :-P thanks for pointing it out. Shawshank Redemption and Kung Fu Panda are the movies i rely on when i feel low. It actually amazes me how an animated comedy movie can actually give you so many great life lessons.
And regarding the long post, actually bahut dinon se andar bhara hua tha, likh ke ab halka sa lag rha hai. Thats why i nowadays spend my time more on ForumIas than FB or any other site.
Jisne bhi ForumIas banaya hai bhai, bhagwaan tumhe hamesha sukh samriddhi de... :-)

F0EHAMMER

Well I had a job just 10 days before so I am feeling liberated as of now.
Not thinking of employment right now.
Family pressure only comes if they are not supportive and the proverbial marriage pressure can be warded of easily.Whenever my mom asks me to see a girl for marriage I calmy tell her that dont worry mom your future daughter-in-law is waiting for me in LBSNAA somewhere :-)

Time can be managed by following a set plan and being consistent about it.

Maggi-study-and occassional movies , I feel like I am back at college now .

As they say its not worth to take life too seriously as noone getsout alive anyways so keep following your dreams folks & enjoy the journey .

Inthefray

Have been avoiding writing down something here but the posts here are very contagious. I'll turn 28 this april though I don't think the number does any justice to my state of mind. Wrote my third mains last december and I can see support dwindling. Parents are wondering if writing another attempt is a good idea. A bunch of busybody relatives are getting nastier by the day. My father who has been an unwaivering supporter of all my plans is asking me to now get a 'var' for myself! Mom's been at it for 2 yrs now. Makes sense, I have a younger sister, dad's retiring next yr and wants to quit even before that!
So what do I do? I'm looking for a job, I'm working on my cv again after a 4 yr's gap, I'll be applying to us colleges for higher studies once applications open. Father's very worried about the funds but at least isn't bulldozing my plan. As for marriage, I have a bagful of responses ranging from I'm a sanyasi, it's not your responsibility, tell prospective grooms I'll have only a civil marriage to no marriage till I get my dream job...blah blah.
Frankly, I'm also worried, even scared. But not defeated. That one thing my heart and soul refuses to accept.

devendra_singh

Family pressure only comes if they are not supportive and the proverbial marriage pressure can be warded of easily.Whenever my mom asks me to see a girl for marriage I calmy tell her that dont worry mom your future daughter-in-law is waiting for me in LBSNAA somewhere :-)

well, i m not in the specified age group of this thread, i m 25 yrs old, but despite of this , i m daring to comment on this thread. But @LuV bhai , how can you be so sure , that you will find your would be in LBSNAA?i mean, any intuition ? or any other kind of foresightedness? or it was simply just a guess? or any positivity?

Vibin

@devendra_singh , thats called Height of confidence

Shivam

when I see young aspirants of 20,21 yr age I started to feel a bit old.
But thanks to you guys I feel younger.
Jokes apart you guys have guts to follow your dreams age no bar.. ^:)^
@Inthefray civil marriage? care to describe.

Inthefray

@Shivam a civil marriage/civil union is the one that's solemnized under the Special Marriage Act unlike a religious marriage which is covered by the relevant Personal Law (religious practice). It's also known as a court marriage in general parlance. There's a specific procedure and it takes place before the Registrar of Marriages. All inter religious marriages where there's no conversion are also solemnized under the Spl Marriage Act. Divorce is also then carried out under this Act and succession under the Indian Succession Act. Basically excludes religion from marriage, divorce and inheritance.

Shivam

@Inthefray so court marriage it is.best of luck with that >-