at first plz excuse me frnds for discussing a irrelevant issues here.now ForumIAS has became my family after demise of my mom.on last 7th Aug my mom passed away suddenly with heart attack,I cudnt know it although I was present there,so it is a sudden shock for me n my family.2de I ve returned home after finishing d asthi bisarjan rituals at Allahabad.this year I willnt appear since m quite not prepared up to my satisfaction.but,now question is how can I come back to study table?how can I c d dream of ias?why shd I prepare for ias?for whom I was dreaming to b an ias,now c is not here,so why shd I prepare?these r d questions always coming in ma mind.so I pray again to excuse me plz n share ur experience if u ve any emotional shock.
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this is the defining moment.
do not linger in the past.
your parents are dead according to what the world perceives, and which is just another speculation and hypothesis in this fleeting and uncertain realm.
in reality, you are their extension, hence they are still alive through you.
practically speaking, only their "form" has withered away, but their essence is not lost.
their parts and consciousness are eternal, just like the principle of energy conservation.
we all miss the physical presence of our beloved ones.
try to develop a long term and consistent coping mechanism against all odds.
You can always talk to us, in case you think we maybe of any help.
Nothing will make them happier than seeing you pursuing your dreams successfully.
Try to prepare as much as you can. Give the exam. Do not be alone for too long even if means studying for long. Talk to friends - a smile here, some happiness there, will certainly help.
Here's wishing you all the best man,Goodluck
Her smiling face should be your greatest source of motivation
Get back to studies for a year is too long to wait.
I know it is your dream to be IAS and it was also the dream of your mother to see u as IAS. Still she is with u in yr memories. She is seeing you from where she is. And she is pained that you are having problems. Brother, U have to stand up and fight. U have to do it for your mother. She has supported u all along this journey till now. Let that effort of her not go in vain. U have to attempt this year prelims too. It doesnt matter that u dont wanna attempt this year. Just think what she wanted u to become and go to exam. I am sure that she would be happy when u attempt the exam. After all, she always wanted u to succeed. All the best bro.
Just don't think much about the exams. That could be done later.
Take care of your siblings., family.
You and your family needs the mental support at this point of time rather than any exam.
May god bless you.
I will recommend you to read Gitanjali for some time to revive your belief in the spiritual aspect of life which is unaffected from ephemerality of mortal body. As one of my fellow forum member rightly explained why you should not see yourself separated from your mother. Rational mind rejects the role of time and space in separating souls of beloved one. They are interwoven from one another. It is our ignorance which invite pain and loneliness.
To infuse spirit in your quest to achieve nontrivial, I should let you know that IAS topper of 2002-03 (not sure about the year), Mona Paruthi, lost her father right before her interview. Yet, see pushed herself hard knowing that being an IAS will be the biggest gift she can give to her beloved dad. \m/
Accept my heartfelt condolences for the sudden demise of your mom.If I say I know what you feel right now I will be telling you a lie .Noone is ever ready for such a grave tragedy.Mother is incarnation of God .In many ways even greater than God himself .
To advice you to forget n move forward would be a impudent judgement on your emotional attachment with your mother .A loss of such intensity takes its toll on oneself whether it be mentally or psychilogically .Your emotional situation at this point is understandable and all I would suggest you is to let life take its natural course .
You will slowly and steadily accumulate courage to overcome this shock.Time is the biggest healer and I hope it heals the wounds you have suffered due to the tragic demise of your beloved mom.
Just remember this : Your dreams are now the guiding light for your rest of the life .Dont let go of your dreams now because achieving them is what your parents would want from you .They will be watching you from the hallowed grounds of heaven praying for your success ,enjoying your journey towards your aim n when you finally achieve it , they will live once again your happiness and smile.
My heartfelt condolences brother. May God give you the strength to face this moment of loss. My prayers are with you and I wish you all the very best for your future endeavors.