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24 year old ...Didn't clear pre...2nd attempt..graduate from iit...topper my whole life...my first failure was earth-shattering experience..promised myself that i would never let myself in this situation again..I have always been bad in GS...Gave capf this year to boost my confidence in GS (150-170 in paper 1 so hoping to clear it)...when upsc declared csat to be qualifying, i took it as a challenge..prepared very hard, covered all the relevant books/materials still couldn't make it..this 2nd consecutive failure i am not able to feel it (strange though)...had joined 3 test series for mains as i never saw it coming...will try to keep myself busy with studies/test series..my father is a civil servant himself who got through in his 4th attempt but never failed in prelims ..although he told me that it's fine and failure is ok..but i can see it--the pain in the eyes of my parents--my mom said that she was sad not that i failed but that my hardwork didn't pay off...Since the beginning of my prep, i also never spent much time with my gf and she also had to sacrifice so much for me, so in a way i have also let her down...i have always thought of writing so now i am thinking of starting a blog along with continuation of my mains syllabus prep.. Anyways i wish good luck to all those who cleared...
i could not clear pre 3 successive times... this time studied a lot.... now do not know how to motivate myself again 4 next year ..... next year will be joining custom( examiner) and think dat this is end of road 4 upsc now.... feeling so disappointed... may be i m not good enough 4 upsc.... all da best 2 all those preparing 4 next year....
meri halat gambhir ho gai hai......saala college ke baad seedhe tyari mein 2 saal marvai....output zero ....private m ab koi 20 hazar ki job bhi ni dega n government m lg ni raha ki agle ek saal tk kahin hoga.....saare effort upsc m hi laga die the.....!!!...i was getting 108+ from vaji. but in assholes ki key bhi bekar thi .Feeling fucked....cursing the day when i decided to prepare for this exam..... aim of the life was to serve nation,help poor n women empowerment that's why i decided..but ab to apne survival k lalle pad gae hai.Girlfriend ne chod dia....fb band kr di coz friends ghumne ki pics daalte hai,bars ki,class k lulu bacche bhi foreign m job karr rahe hai....whatsapp pr do do din tak kisi k msg ni aate......100 ruppe ka balane mahine bhar chal jata hai....this shows my social life....ghrwalo k paisso pr parasite feel karta hun.....n worst part is this wo mujhe ab bhi support kar rahe hai....ki koi baat nahi......baap achi post pr hai to rishtetdaar daang marke rakhte hai expectation se...choti moti job bhi ni kar sakta..... !! Kya karun mera ab to humanity se wishwas hi uth gaya.....jo log selfish the, they are happy....enjoying there life with every sensual pleasure.....they never bother about country n parents ...emotionless n they are happy....n look at me i tried to fulfill my parents dream i m suffering... (
It's time to honor ur goal, ur objective is more significant than anything else, feel the @glory of UR goal, u are the real warrior, u have already beaten those who couldn't dare to try though they were interested in upsc but their conservative&overdefensive complacency prevailed over their passion but it doesn't go same in ur case, stick to your purpose, ur purpose itself is enough to motivate you & guide to accomplish ur mission... Never ever care for those janta who even couldn't dare to fight such battle..
@DUKHIYA ..humara bhi naav doob gaya..chalo jharkhand wapas..koila ka karobar karna tumhare attempt khatam ho gaye kya? 4 hi hue na?
Wang bhai..ab ka batayein..life badi azeeb hai...ghar wapas aa rahe ho?
main to pre k baad Hi aa gaya tha..attempt baki hai abhi .par himmat jawab de raha
bhai ek job pakad lo..rbi grade b do aur apfc bhi.. ab full time tayari ka sense nahi aur himmat mat haro be saare attempt dena waise mera toh CA hai...fir bhi mera immediate target hai ki rbi ,apfc me se koi ek nikalna iss baar...fir dekhnege civils ko..is baar kuch toh hua hai..sala pt nahi hoga kabhi..aisa hum kabhi soch nai sakte the
hai uthal puthal..uthal lahar.. path se na digane payegi !! manjil aayegi aayegi aayegi.. PS- bhai log lage raho. and always try to be realistic in life. false hopes always harm in long run though one can get temporary comfort.
@Bodo_pandit tera kya hau ? waise false hope kya hai yaar realistic hi hai sab pata tha ki ghus sakte hai, baki iske bharose koi nahi baitha hai i guess although no one is going to leave it either
i cleared. i meant in hope of lower cutoff many of us wasted our time.
lol wasted our time kaise bhai low cutoff man kar to padhai ki hogi logo ne
aur hope rakhna better hai depressed hone se to , i really thank those insiders who quoted less cutoff , jitni padhai ho payi wo bhi nahi hoti warna , its good to be optmistic no harm as such
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Comments
main to pre k baad Hi aa gaya tha..attempt baki hai abhi .par himmat jawab de raha
Anyways i wish good luck to all those who cleared...
ab full time tayari ka sense nahi
aur himmat mat haro be
saare attempt dena
waise mera toh CA hai...fir bhi mera immediate target hai ki rbi ,apfc me se koi ek nikalna iss baar...fir dekhnege civils ko..is baar kuch toh hua hai..sala pt nahi hoga kabhi..aisa hum kabhi soch nai sakte the
aur hope rakhna better hai depressed hone se to , i really thank those insiders who quoted less cutoff , jitni padhai ho payi wo bhi nahi hoti warna , its good to be optmistic no harm as such