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Public Diary Of An IAS Aspirant....

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Comments

  • 26 march se try kar raha hu ki Jake bol du dil ki baat..
    Kuch din madam aayi nahi.
    Aur Jis din aayi uss din earphone lagakar baat kar rahi thi kisi se.. I thought it would be rude and inappropriate ki approach kia jaye.
    Ab aur raha nahi ja raha.. Reject hi hona hai toh jaldi ho jau.
    Padhai me Mann lagne lagega. Roz shaam park isi aasha me jata hu ki aaj bol duga fir sab clear ho jayega.
    Aaj madam nahi aayi. "52" block me rahti hai.
    Joote pade ya latth par boluga zarur. Parso b'day hai mera toh mai request karuga ki kya tum mere sath dominoes/barbeque nation chalogi?
    #reject hone ja alag maza hai.. Reject hone ke baad yaha par post daluga kaise kya bola aur kitni beizati hui.

    best of luck :)
    Got rejected.
    She is already committed.
    Khushi Iss baat ki hai ki usne acche se baat ki.
    Feeling relaxed.. Rejection me alag maza hota hai.
    Dukh Iss baat ka hai. We have same family background, caste and place of origin..
    2 mahine ki aag ab shan't hogai. Happy bday to me. :smile:
  • 26 march se try kar raha hu ki Jake bol du dil ki baat..
    Kuch din madam aayi nahi.
    Aur Jis din aayi uss din earphone lagakar baat kar rahi thi kisi se.. I thought it would be rude and inappropriate ki approach kia jaye.
    Ab aur raha nahi ja raha.. Reject hi hona hai toh jaldi ho jau.
    Padhai me Mann lagne lagega. Roz shaam park isi aasha me jata hu ki aaj bol duga fir sab clear ho jayega.
    Aaj madam nahi aayi. "52" block me rahti hai.
    Joote pade ya latth par boluga zarur. Parso b'day hai mera toh mai request karuga ki kya tum mere sath dominoes/barbeque nation chalogi?
    #reject hone ja alag maza hai.. Reject hone ke baad yaha par post daluga kaise kya bola aur kitni beizati hui.

    best of luck :)
    Got rejected.
    She is already committed.
    Khushi Iss baat ki hai ki usne acche se baat ki.
    Feeling relaxed.. Rejection me alag maza hota hai.
    Dukh Iss baat ka hai. We have same family background, caste and place of origin..
    2 mahine ki aag ab shan't hogai. Happy bday to me. :smile:
    rofl haha
    kon ladki committed nhi hai
    kya soch ke gaya tha ...
    bass ek baar muuh dikha ke aa jaun .
    :D
  • 26 march se try kar raha hu ki Jake bol du dil ki baat..
    Kuch din madam aayi nahi.
    Aur Jis din aayi uss din earphone lagakar baat kar rahi thi kisi se.. I thought it would be rude and inappropriate ki approach kia jaye.
    Ab aur raha nahi ja raha.. Reject hi hona hai toh jaldi ho jau.
    Padhai me Mann lagne lagega. Roz shaam park isi aasha me jata hu ki aaj bol duga fir sab clear ho jayega.
    Aaj madam nahi aayi. "52" block me rahti hai.
    Joote pade ya latth par boluga zarur. Parso b'day hai mera toh mai request karuga ki kya tum mere sath dominoes/barbeque nation chalogi?
    #reject hone ja alag maza hai.. Reject hone ke baad yaha par post daluga kaise kya bola aur kitni beizati hui.

    best of luck :)
    Got rejected.
    She is already committed.
    Khushi Iss baat ki hai ki usne acche se baat ki.
    Feeling relaxed.. Rejection me alag maza hota hai.
    Dukh Iss baat ka hai. We have same family background, caste and place of origin..
    2 mahine ki aag ab shan't hogai. Happy bday to me. :smile:
    rofl haha
    kon ladki committed nhi hai
    kya soch ke gaya tha ...
    bass ek baar muuh dikha ke aa jaun .
    :D
    Jo ladko ke sath ghumti hai ORN me unko approach nahi kar sakte kyuki vo committed lagti hai
    Par madar, Jo akele ghumti hai aur kabhi phone par bhi nahi baat karti unka sala bf kaisa bf hai.
    Main apnr gf ko akele saans bhi na lens du

    Aur shayad is I liye single hu :neutral:
  • 26 march se try kar raha hu ki Jake bol du dil ki baat..
    Kuch din madam aayi nahi.
    Aur Jis din aayi uss din earphone lagakar baat kar rahi thi kisi se.. I thought it would be rude and inappropriate ki approach kia jaye.
    Ab aur raha nahi ja raha.. Reject hi hona hai toh jaldi ho jau.
    Padhai me Mann lagne lagega. Roz shaam park isi aasha me jata hu ki aaj bol duga fir sab clear ho jayega.
    Aaj madam nahi aayi. "52" block me rahti hai.
    Joote pade ya latth par boluga zarur. Parso b'day hai mera toh mai request karuga ki kya tum mere sath dominoes/barbeque nation chalogi?
    #reject hone ja alag maza hai.. Reject hone ke baad yaha par post daluga kaise kya bola aur kitni beizati hui.

    best of luck :)
    Got rejected.
    She is already committed.
    Khushi Iss baat ki hai ki usne acche se baat ki.
    Feeling relaxed.. Rejection me alag maza hota hai.
    Dukh Iss baat ka hai. We have same family background, caste and place of origin..
    2 mahine ki aag ab shan't hogai. Happy bday to me. :smile:
    rofl haha
    kon ladki committed nhi hai
    kya soch ke gaya tha ...
    bass ek baar muuh dikha ke aa jaun .
    :D
    Jo ladko ke sath ghumti hai ORN me unko approach nahi kar sakte kyuki vo committed lagti hai
    Par madar, Jo akele ghumti hai aur kabhi phone par bhi nahi baat karti unka sala bf kaisa bf hai.
    Main apnr gf ko akele saans bhi na lens du

    Aur shayad is I liye single hu :neutral:
    :D
    itna possessive hone se se girls door bhaagti hai ...
    aapka dard samjh aa raha mujhe :D .
    happy birth day boy :)
  • Time to leave forumias... :) ...maza aaya 3 saal ke baad yaha aana... hoping never to comeback again...
  • Time to leave forumias... :) ...maza aaya 3 saal ke baad yaha aana... hoping never to comeback again...
    so long !!
  • storm is winding my sail.
  • edited March 2018
    Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

    Hmm.. well if you don’t mind i would like to say a few words here.

    You have cleared civil services exam. Try to take the maximum benefit out of it for your own self as now you know that there is nothing much you can do.
    By own self I mean to say, use the platform to your best level, try socialising even if you don’t like it. There is nothing wrong in being an introvert. I am very sure you will be able to find like minded people .
    For e.g.- by simply clearing this exam you may find a good life partner. Who may or may not be working with the government. ie a person who understands you and is professionally sound too.

    Try to not dislike others or the system too much. Because that makes everything suffocating. Accept others as they are and try to keep your own track correct.

    There are many avenues for a civil servant try to google distinct feats achieved by other civil servants and how they were able to do it, at what position etc . There are people who pursue higher studies or work in ways that they could really make a difference.

    Do not be impatient. You need to first stay here and learn the working of the system. Do not feel trapped , you can leave anytime. But try to atleast know and learn how things work.

    We have many civil servants who became successful activist( if that’s the way you want), lawyers, academicians.

    So chill :) you did good, relax a bit , enjoy and keep building your dream.
    Work for some years and get more maturity about pros and cons of remaining in service. And you can even start looking for other opportunities while working .
    Then decide after some years, but till then enjoy and try to put your best .
    Thanks for those words :).. they make a lot of sense.. i have always been a person who has given more value to personal value than professional life.. being raised by a single parent i was desperate for care.. around 2-3 years into preparation, it took a toll on me.. ended up in a couple of wrong relationships all because of the desperation for care.. as you said i was looking for a good life partner.. and the guy promised we become honest civil servants.. we spoke about wedding and made plans for future.. the next day he broke up with me for a girl whom he was pretty sure he has to become corrupt to meet her high maintenance demands.. now career is the only thing i have in my hand.. even that looks gloomy.. so getting impatient and restless

    Anyways, I am really thankful for your kind words.. I wish you all success!
    Stop being negative about the career part.
    And it’s okay everyone has their own stories to tell about bad relationships. I think it’s natural to fall for people especially in prepration phase because of the need of a companion.
    About this guy who left you for someone else, well people change a lot. During prepration, just after selection and few years into selection :joy: it’s the future prospects and god knows what else drives them.
    It’s difficult to find genuine people, so you are not unlucky or prone to fall into wrong relationships , it’s just that this thing is a lot common than we thought it to be. There are really so many cases of breakups ! Only time will heal those but you need to stop criticising yourself or finding fault in yourself :)

    I mean really!! Here I am concerned because you said yesterday that sometimes even after selection people are suicidal. Please don’t use this word so commonly.

    Know that life is more. More than any boy or girl. It is offcourse not heaven or something that gives result instantaneously but it is worth living.

    Take all these famous people or anyone who has achieved anything. Nothing comes in a flick of a second dear. It takes years, try visualising where you wish to see yourself after 10 years and then after 10 years. And every day you need to consciously mak effort. Take Aruna Roy ma’am for example she topped civils served from 68-74 then left to start Kisan Andolans etc. what do you think have her that kick start? It was being a civil servant.

    So don’t count yourself low. You are better than many. And i am not saying leave civils or you can become this or that. But atleast settle in for some years and find yourself. Don’t call your personal career to be gloomy already! :) its bright and you have years ahead of you.. you will find a good loving partner ( yes , it is almost like trial and error method but it’s your life afterall.. if someone has left, someone else will find you) and you will be happy!! Have faith in yourself... try to see the bigger picture :)
    And think like this. Whatever is your age, whatever happened in all those years- take the good parts out and forget the rest. Put everything to zero. Have a new life and you can always become better, forgive and forget the bitter sad stupid regretful parts of it. You have to take care of yourself and you will take a long breathe, sleep well and put past behind you. Make the rest of the life which is almost double left , make it better. Okay?
    According to me it’s already on its way up , unless you desperately try to be negative negative :smiley: you’ll be fine dear :)



    wish you well.. cheer up!!! Go shopping buy good stuffs and treat yourself.. you have you!
  • These words made my day.. "you have you".. thanks a lot :)
  • @Daddy_Is_Here

    एक नई शुरुआत हुई है .......
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