Public Diary Of An IAS Aspirant....

khagaul

Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

Bro elaborate this...why u are not happy and many others as well??

@domino Bhai ifs diplomat ka chance dekhiye mera horoscope me send kiya hai... Please

P. S-request

If u clear upsc then u will get into any of the accounts service or revenue. No foreign service i see in d10.

Zindagi mein progress chahiye to astrology se duur rahooo.... a goddess that my ancestors worshipped revealed me not to take refuge in astrology.

1-chances in capf this year? Jupiter MD Mars ad

2-after clearing capf...should I go for cse or indulge myself in my hobby poetry, stand up comedy(for one year of gap)... As I need to live my life now(too much of seriousness I saw)

3-after this advice of yours I will stop astrology till my final settlement...

P. S--If chances of revenue or accounts services is very much high than I can toil for that for another year...

domino

Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

Bro elaborate this...why u are not happy and many others as well??

@domino Bhai ifs diplomat ka chance dekhiye mera horoscope me send kiya hai... Please

P. S-request

If u clear upsc then u will get into any of the accounts service or revenue. No foreign service i see in d10.

Zindagi mein progress chahiye to astrology se duur rahooo.... a goddess that my ancestors worshipped revealed me not to take refuge in astrology.

1-chances in capf this year? Jupiter MD Mars ad

2-after clearing capf...should I go for cse or indulge myself in my hobby poetry, stand up comedy(for one year of gap)... As I need to live my life now(too much of seriousness I saw)

3-after this advice of yours I will stop astrology till my final settlement...

P. S--If chances of revenue or accounts services is very much high than I can toil for that for another year...

U should definitely write cse exam. Prepare well n give capf. astrology has nothing to do with ur capf selection.

Faceless

Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

Bro elaborate this...why u are not happy and many others as well??

Not bro.. am a girl.. if that can explain it all

domino

Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

Bro elaborate this...why u are not happy and many others as well??

Not bro.. am a girl.. if that can explain it all

Mam why are u not happy?? Is there no job satisfaction in civil services??
Tell us about urself about your journey into civil service ..it may help many..

Faceless

Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

Bro elaborate this...why u are not happy and many others as well??

Not bro.. am a girl.. if that can explain it all

Mam why are u not happy?? Is there no job satisfaction in civil services??
Tell us about urself about your journey into civil service ..it may help many..

Firstly, don't call me mam.. buddy or pal or anything as you like..
Well, job satisfaction.. its too early to say.. just been into 3 months of training.. but one thing, its definitely not something as it looks from outside.. but yeah.. if you are a person who enjoys attention and power.. you will love it to the core.. if not you will get sick of the snobs around.. you will be trained to become 'yes' men and women.. hierarchy is deep rooted.. it feel sad when you realise you can do nothing much about it.. and with people who are here mostly for social prestige and power, one who actually wanted to serve the nation gets disillusioned in no time..

Again, I don't want to discourage young blood.. just felt like sharing.. also i have a hell lot of personal issues.. may be that's what is making me look at things in a negative perspective

domino

Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

Bro elaborate this...why u are not happy and many others as well??

Not bro.. am a girl.. if that can explain it all

Mam why are u not happy?? Is there no job satisfaction in civil services??
Tell us about urself about your journey into civil service ..it may help many..

Firstly, don't call me mam.. buddy or pal or anything as you like..
Well, job satisfaction.. its too early to say.. just been into 3 months of training.. but one thing, its definitely not something as it looks from outside.. but yeah.. if you are a person who enjoys attention and power.. you will love it to the core.. if not you will get sick of the snobs around.. you will be trained to become 'yes' men and women.. hierarchy is deep rooted.. it feel sad when you realise you can do nothing much about it.. and with people who are here mostly for social prestige and power, one who actually wanted to serve the nation gets disillusioned in no time..

Again, I don't want to discourage young blood.. just felt like sharing.. also i have a hell lot of personal issues.. may be that's what is making me look at things in a negative perspective

Ok officer...i hope u are happy now.

Faceless

Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

Bro elaborate this...why u are not happy and many others as well??

Not bro.. am a girl.. if that can explain it all

Mam why are u not happy?? Is there no job satisfaction in civil services??
Tell us about urself about your journey into civil service ..it may help many..

Firstly, don't call me mam.. buddy or pal or anything as you like..
Well, job satisfaction.. its too early to say.. just been into 3 months of training.. but one thing, its definitely not something as it looks from outside.. but yeah.. if you are a person who enjoys attention and power.. you will love it to the core.. if not you will get sick of the snobs around.. you will be trained to become 'yes' men and women.. hierarchy is deep rooted.. it feel sad when you realise you can do nothing much about it.. and with people who are here mostly for social prestige and power, one who actually wanted to serve the nation gets disillusioned in no time..

Again, I don't want to discourage young blood.. just felt like sharing.. also i have a hell lot of personal issues.. may be that's what is making me look at things in a negative perspective

Ok officer...i hope u are happy now.

yeah.. trying to find happiness.. and i guess am doing better now.. if any of you guys need any help, let me know.. all the best
and again no officer please.. i hate the babudom

Kalua_Dakait

Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

Bro elaborate this...why u are not happy and many others as well??

Not bro.. am a girl.. if that can explain it all

Mam why are u not happy?? Is there no job satisfaction in civil services??
Tell us about urself about your journey into civil service ..it may help many..

Firstly, don't call me mam.. buddy or pal or anything as you like..
Well, job satisfaction.. its too early to say.. just been into 3 months of training.. but one thing, its definitely not something as it looks from outside.. but yeah.. if you are a person who enjoys attention and power.. you will love it to the core.. if not you will get sick of the snobs around.. you will be trained to become 'yes' men and women.. hierarchy is deep rooted.. it feel sad when you realise you can do nothing much about it.. and with people who are here mostly for social prestige and power, one who actually wanted to serve the nation gets disillusioned in no time..

Again, I don't want to discourage young blood.. just felt like sharing.. also i have a hell lot of personal issues.. may be that's what is making me look at things in a negative perspective

I liked a girl so I tried very hard to get in relationship with her, after her yes, i lost interest in the relationship.
Things were normal between us. But from nowhere I got this burden in my head, I felt like caged.
But sometimes we just loose interest in things we crave for because we judge things superficially or we are misfit for the person or profession.

dark night

Well, I cleared UPSC, but things haven't changed much.. it only added more to the ones that are already there.. i'm disillusioned.. i thought clearing civils is a panacea... NOPE.. not at all.. everyone thinks am happy.. but am suicidal.. people think am foolish when I say this.. not just me.. they are many around me, undergoing training, who are equally or more depressed and suicidal.. what i mean to say is if you are veterans in the field and think life is being unfair to you.. dont think it will become easier after clearing the exam.. it will stay the same.. all that you will earn are a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.. if any of you is sad about not clearing the exam.. don't be.. make the most out of your life.. enjoy every moment of it.. happiness is not success.. i'm out of mind and dont know if i'm making any sense

Bro elaborate this...why u are not happy and many others as well??

Not bro.. am a girl.. if that can explain it all

Mam why are u not happy?? Is there no job satisfaction in civil services??
Tell us about urself about your journey into civil service ..it may help many..

Firstly, don't call me mam.. buddy or pal or anything as you like..
Well, job satisfaction.. its too early to say.. just been into 3 months of training.. but one thing, its definitely not something as it looks from outside.. but yeah.. if you are a person who enjoys attention and power.. you will love it to the core.. if not you will get sick of the snobs around.. you will be trained to become 'yes' men and women.. hierarchy is deep rooted.. it feel sad when you realise you can do nothing much about it.. and with people who are here mostly for social prestige and power, one who actually wanted to serve the nation gets disillusioned in no time..

Again, I don't want to discourage young blood.. just felt like sharing.. also i have a hell lot of personal issues.. may be that's what is making me look at things in a negative perspective

Ok officer...i hope u are happy now.

yeah.. trying to find happiness.. and i guess am doing better now.. if any of you guys need any help, let me know.. all the best
and again no officer please.. i hate the babudom

1-a bunch of sycophants and those who love for what what you have achieved and not you.
this one must have realized during the preparation phase only... what is new in this. !!
who ever becomes cs, is from our surroundings only, who we start meeting regularly from the 1st day we join any preparatory classes...

2-one who actually wanted to serve the nation gets disillusioned in no time..
one more such soul habitats forum... he writes sometimes... topper of 2013cse...

3-that's what is making me look at things in a negative perspective...
there is no positive or negative perspective as such... since your perspective is in minority, hence looks unusual to you.... venting out by remaining anonymous is a privilege, and one must leverage the opportunity !!

set and work for next goal... CS is not a panacea, its just a begining, but a strong one, which give an opportunity to have a multidimentional walk...

only very few CSs actually justify and realize their real potential...

you decide who you are ,and want to become... but your perspective will be , most of the time in minority, but not weak...

life is beautiful... is also a perspective... which is created .

enjoy.

dark night

26 march se try kar raha hu ki Jake bol du dil ki baat..
Kuch din madam aayi nahi.
Aur Jis din aayi uss din earphone lagakar baat kar rahi thi kisi se.. I thought it would be rude and inappropriate ki approach kia jaye.
Ab aur raha nahi ja raha.. Reject hi hona hai toh jaldi ho jau.
Padhai me Mann lagne lagega. Roz shaam park isi aasha me jata hu ki aaj bol duga fir sab clear ho jayega.
Aaj madam nahi aayi. "52" block me rahti hai.
Joote pade ya latth par boluga zarur. Parso b'day hai mera toh mai request karuga ki kya tum mere sath dominoes/barbeque nation chalogi?
#reject hone ja alag maza hai.. Reject hone ke baad yaha par post daluga kaise kya bola aur kitni beizati hui.

why so many people kafan bandh kar nikal gae hain shahid hone ke liye...??? pre-effect??

sab moro ge baas... dauro aur padho... ye sab kuch kaam nahi ane wala... even if she says yes... your main goal ( upsc) will also say yes, after yes from " ann su chi ".....