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@ gks excellent draft. But my personal opinion is that this draft is mostly bureaucratic version and will perfectly suitable to persons like baswan committee. ., parliamentary standing committee. DOPT., UPSC etc. I THINK WE SHOULD PREPARE another VERY SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE DRAFT FOR POLITICIANS INCLUDING PM., MINISTERS etc. Then only these leaders will at least read our draft with comfort mood otherwise they will not give much concentration to core issue. Pls consider this request because simplicity is very important to putforth this issue in mind our govt.
@gks and other friends : you prepared excellent draft. But my personal opinion is that this draft is mostly bureaucratic version and will perfectly suitable to persons like baswan committee. ., parliamentary standing committee. DOPT., UPSC etc. I THINK WE SHOULD PREPARE another VERY SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE DRAFT FOR POLITICIANS INCLUDING PM., MINISTERS etc. Then only these leaders will at least read our draft with comfort mood otherwise they will not give much concentration to core issue. Pls consider this request because simplicity is very important to putforth this issue in mind our govt.so we should use both two drafts according to situations without changing the core demand.
@gks and other friends : you prepared excellent draft. But my personal opinion is that this draft is mostly bureaucratic version and will perfectly suitable to persons like baswan committee. ., parliamentary standing committee. DOPT., UPSC etc. I THINK WE SHOULD PREPARE another VERY SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE DRAFT FOR POLITICIANS INCLUDING PM., MINISTERS etc. Then only these leaders will at least read our draft with comfort mood otherwise they will not give much concentration to core issue. Pls consider this request because simplicity is very important to putforth this issue in mind our govt.so we should use both two drafts according to situations without changing the core demand.
AGREE...
1 PAGE KA SIMPLE DRAFT ZYADA ZARURI HAI....ITNA BADA KAUN PADHEGA ...MAIN KHUD HI 1 PAGE SE ZYADA NAHI PADH PAYA..KOI AUR KYUN PADHEGA.....
I have corrected the firast page of the draft. Submitting it for review. agar thik lage to bataiyega, mai aur bhi proceed karunga tab. proposede alterations are in red.
- I was tagged a couple of times for proofreading the draft. But @srimanbanerjee seems to be doing it above. (p.s: I like the changes you have made esp the humanitarian wala paragraph) .... But we can't have 2 people proofread - there are 10 different ways to write a sentence and each person will write differently. so too much hotch potch will happen. Please decide on one person only.
- on to the draft , there are 2 points i want to highlight
a) Point 1 iii) the line "Moreover, 2011 candidates were given an extra attempt in 2015." ... This was actually nothing but the 2 attempts which the govt had granted everyone but 2011 did not get any bec of age. In fact 2011 ppl have got just one chance compared to 2 of others. This sentence makes it sound that 2011 were given something extra. We were not. Can we delete this please ? Otherwise they might not consider us in relaxations. The previous line " two extra attempts were provided after changes were introduced " covers 2011 people also.
b) Point 4 iii) - the whole paragraph seems wrong to me. We have basically said that this year all who were chosen were non serious, ignorant people who got thru on luck. Kuch zyaada demeaning nahin ho gaya ? ... We can pretty much skip the entire para and focus simply on how serious candidates lost out. Just a thought.
I have corrected the firast page of the draft. Submitting it for review. agar thik lage to bataiyega, mai aur bhi proceed karunga tab. proposede alterations are in red.
Don't rephrase - add something new or propose small changes - everyone would be able to rephrase the whole document in countless ways, how would we finalize it ?
Don't rephrase bro , just proofread it,
Let's not open ncerts just one day before exam, humanitarian paragraph was suggested by you only and is good too, but only 2-3% should be changed now, humanitarian would be taken.
U asked you 2 days ago to provide writeups, at that time they could be included, now people have already put effort so u save your effort now in re-wriring full draft,
Just sugges changes and don't reinvent the wheel :-)
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AGREE...
1 PAGE KA SIMPLE DRAFT ZYADA ZARURI HAI....ITNA BADA KAUN PADHEGA ...MAIN KHUD HI 1 PAGE SE ZYADA NAHI PADH PAYA..KOI AUR KYUN PADHEGA.....
- very comprehensive draft. Good job core team
- I was tagged a couple of times for proofreading the draft. But @srimanbanerjee seems to be doing it above. (p.s: I like the changes you have made esp the humanitarian wala paragraph) .... But we can't have 2 people proofread - there are 10 different ways to write a sentence and each person will write differently. so too much hotch potch will happen. Please decide on one person only.
- on to the draft , there are 2 points i want to highlight
a) Point 1 iii) the line "Moreover, 2011 candidates were given an extra attempt in 2015." ... This was actually nothing but the 2 attempts which the govt had granted everyone but 2011 did not get any bec of age. In fact 2011 ppl have got just one chance compared to 2 of others. This sentence makes it sound that 2011 were given something extra. We were not. Can we delete this please ? Otherwise they might not consider us in relaxations. The previous line " two extra attempts were provided after changes were introduced " covers 2011 people also.
b) Point 4 iii) - the whole paragraph seems wrong to me. We have basically said that this year all who were chosen were non serious, ignorant people who got thru on luck. Kuch zyaada demeaning nahin ho gaya ? ... We can pretty much skip the entire para and focus simply on how serious candidates lost out. Just a thought.
Don't rephrase bro , just proofread it,
Let's not open ncerts just one day before exam, humanitarian paragraph was suggested by you only and is good too, but only 2-3% should be changed now, humanitarian would be taken.
U asked you 2 days ago to provide writeups, at that time they could be included, now people have already put effort so u save your effort now in re-wriring full draft,
Just sugges changes and don't reinvent the wheel :-)