Forget me soon: Karnataka UPSC aspirant in suicide note

shivajii

Breaking The Myth:

I am now 2 years seeing bureaucracy from very close. I am a Class 1 Officer in a State Government. Given UPSC 4 times , failed UPSC Mains 4 times. These are my following observation which might help you know the other side of the famed bureaucracy and break it's golden image:

Disclaimer: This is written from a point of view that along with my allegiance to the duty and pursuit for greater pubic good, i am also thinking about my growth as human. Those who firmly believes that bureaucrat is only for the public, kindly skip this note. I am only telling what i have observed in majority of cases.

1. IImmense Pressure: Pressure to perform and keep Political masters happy, believe me 90% of officers do so and their ethics die daily a slow death. In my view partisanship do creep in and people tend to themselves break this social fabric.
2. Family life: Close to Zero in some cases, You are on duty 24X7, can't leave station without any permission. Sometimes feel like a bonded labor.
3. Peanuts for Salary: No proper evaluation of the work done, comparing your friends in private sector you will feel sooner or later the gap in life styles you are having. You are cloaking in much more time and getting no appreciation, no reward.
4. Lost Charm: Civil Servant don't have that BabuShahi now, no discretion , immense pressure from groups like NGOs etc which most of the time are driven by nefarious agendas. You show yourself upright but inside you know the reality of compromises you do daily.
5. Digital Onslaught I am a pro technology guy, but the way everything governance is changing these days is appalling. First of all i recognize that technology has brought positive changes in millions of life and continuous strives should be made to improve upon it. But these days bureaucracy is being maintained through Whatsapp, all reporting on spot complaints, pressure to reply even after office hours etc. Problem is that their is no infrastructure and support staff to do so. But then you are pressurized to work your ass in this scenario.
6. Going Private Pressure is to turn bureaucracy into corporate style. Daily meetings, elaborated PR campaigns, presentable offices etc. But the problem is Zero compensation for change in your style of working neither in monetary or support structure.

I know these points are random , you may not agree but my only intention is to tell you that it's not so difficult to leave this rat-race. This exam is no life-death. Many IAS i have met tell me how useless it becomes after sometime. People can do more batter things in their life, believe me it's just an exam!!!!



Regards

Thanks for not posting this anonymously.

napoleon_wellesely

this is unfortunate