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Getting depressed day by day :(

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Comments

  • Don't be so depressed please. Sure there is life beyond career and UPSC. Take some time out. Vacation of sort. Have some fun. Do something that you enjoy doing. Then get back to studies. You will really find it refreshing.

  • I think these are problems every aspirant faces at some point or another. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and all that. I've come to realize that dealing with these issues builds character, even at this stage in our lives, and that will show. In the PI, and just life in general. Can you imagine how much better a harder, stronger version of yourself would be able to deal with, say, a severe crisis as an IAS officer, than the young, soft, depressed version? :)

    Think of the future. A little sacrifice and hardship today goes a long, long way.

    As for work ethic: may I suggest something from Indian philosophical thought? There is the ideal of the 'karmayogin', wherein the way for a person to advance and progress in life is through perfect devotion to duty, and to action. Work, work, work, but think not of the result. From this perspective, personal likes and dislikes, the environment and ambience, other people, the weather -whatever else that our brain comes up with as a handy excuse- become utterly irrelevant.

    In this state, it becomes easy to look at one's own mind from a third-person POV, and point and laugh when it tries its best to draw you back to temptation.

    Let me illustrate with a few common thought-processes:

    --"Damn, I've studied a little and now know all about inflation indices! Time to take a break and laze for the next two days, I've deserved it..." -This is stage I of your brain's detox. Laugh, and move on.

    --"Hmm. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I'm turning into a nerd! A loser! I have no SO, have no social life to speak of, I'm no longer part of the in-crowd. I'm lonely.....set this right or you will be LOST. FOREVER" - This is stage II of detox, and the one I believe you're currently in, OP. Note the desperation creeping into the brain's feedback. Just a little thought would tell you how ridiculous these claims are. Think of all the decades you've got left in which to make friends or whatever. Seriously.

    --"This stuff is boring, and tedious. I don't want to learn about administration. I don't care. I'm wasting my precious youth on THIS?! What am I doing to myself?! All my former colleagues are married, either to or with plush jobs!" -this is stage III, and is followed by a period of pure, unadulterated loathing. You begin to hate your textbooks, hate newspapers, hate boring debates and whatnot. This is the rebellious, teenage phase of the mind, and here logic and will play a huge role in reining the wayward and immature mind back in.

    At this point, there should be a complete and fundamental shift in one's outlook. Studying becomes less a chore, and more an enrichment of the intellect (as pompous as it may sound), an investment for the future. Distractions wither away and soon cease -they'd then merely be items of consumption, for when you need to relax a little- not overriding guilt-trip temptations that need to be indulged at the cost of advancement.

    All IMHO, goes without saying. :)
  • @brkms ...good explanation.. =D>

    By the way,what will u suggest if there is always a periodic quarrel going in a family and also there is always an edge of uncertainty prevailing in the mind of an aspirant,no matter how hard he/she studies??
  • @brkms ...good explanation.. =D>

    By the way,what will u suggest if there is always a periodic quarrel going in a family and also there is always an edge of uncertainty prevailing in the mind of an aspirant,no matter how hard he/she studies??
    Thanks, abhi8738. Just sharing my viewpoint as a fellow aspirant, is all. :)

    Quarrels in the family -would this not fall under 'environment', and therefore something that can be safely ignored? If it's still overwhelming, try renting a place and move out until December, perhaps.

    Uncertainty -I treat this as an inner demon - and believe me, if there's one thing I've learnt about people in life, it is that *everyone* has their own particular set of inner demons and insecurities, clawing from within.

    I can only speak for myself and from my own experience, but I never dwell on uncertainties. The way I see it, logic trumps all else every single time, and so long as we have logic on our side, we're winning -the 'all else' be damned! Logically, for our part, there can only be two main reasons one couldn't make it through -either we screwed up, or we just didn't care enough. Suppose someone has checked all the right boxes -put in the requisite amount of hard work, studied the right material, approached the exam the way it ought to be, did not panic or mess up in the exam hall -said person has given his\her best, and it is nigh impossible for him\her to NOT make it through. Uncertainty never enters the picture.

    I suppose it's in the choice of material, of what to study and how much effort to put in that the uncertainty creeps in. If it does, one glance at a previous question paper should be enough to tell us if we're perhaps studying too much, or from the wrong angle, or grasping at the wrong end of the argument.
  • edited March 2014
    @Gak :)
    @final_touch ltouch – you are are right buddy. What actually need in this exam is courage :)
    @brkms- Thanks a lot for this awesome answer. I think a lot of frustrations have to a do a lot with over thinking or overanalyzing. I think, in my case I need a total co-ordination, free from pressure, fear everything. As I like thinking in a spiritual way, I would love to get that bent of mind. I know I have not been in that realm, but I guess this is the right time to try :)
    Thanks again for those awesome answers
    @abhi8738-Thanks a lot for coming here and reading me
    Once again wishing all of you the very best :)


  • i am new here. i have always been above average person with good academic record. presently i am in my final semester M.com. till now i have given 4 govt exams and was not selected for interview in 3 out of them. then i was selected in ibps po 3 interview with very good score. if i had even got 50 percent in interview i would have qualified and got allotment. but today i saw that i have not cleared even the interview. rest at such times of crisis preparing for upsc is becoming very difficult. day by day i am feeling demotivated and worthless. please tell me how to get over it. thank you friends
  • i am new here. i have always been above average person with good academic record. presently i am in my final semester M.com. till now i have given 4 govt exams and was not selected for interview in 3 out of them. then i was selected in ibps po 3 interview with very good score. if i had even got 50 percent in interview i would have qualified and got allotment. but today i saw that i have not cleared even the interview. rest at such times of crisis preparing for upsc is becoming very difficult. day by day i am feeling demotivated and worthless. please tell me how to get over it. thank you friends
    U should look at this till the last comment:https://forumias.com/discussion/736/inspiration/p1

    It will help u heal..I have also failed like u in bank po and all but I donot give a damn as something better is awaiting me in the form of civil services...Get up..You have nothing to lose and so much to gain..The sky is limit..

    P.S. Also see my signature..U will be so inspired... \m/
  • edited April 2014
    i am new here. i have always been above average person with good academic record. presently i am in my final semester M.com. till now i have given 4 govt exams and was not selected for interview in 3 out of them. then i was selected in ibps po 3 interview with very good score. if i had even got 50 percent in interview i would have qualified and got allotment. but today i saw that i have not cleared even the interview. rest at such times of crisis preparing for upsc is becoming very difficult. day by day i am feeling demotivated and worthless. please tell me how to get over it. thank you friends

    Then tell yourself that : IAS mere se nahi hoga..mai ek choti naukri se santust rahunga...Koi bhi naukri chalege ..4 ya 5000 ki...I donot need the reputation,power or relevance of a civil servant,i will be satisfied with any damn job...

    P.S. LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF DAILY AND BOIL IN THAT AND THEN COME BACK WITH VENGEANCE TO AVENGE YOUR BIRTHRIGHT OF BEING A CIVIL SERVANT..

    ULTIMATELY THE CHOICE IS YOURS \m/ \m/

  • I think these are problems every aspirant faces at some point or another. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and all that. I've come to realize that dealing with these issues builds character, even at this stage in our lives, and that will show. In the PI, and just life in general. Can you imagine how much better a harder, stronger version of yourself would be able to deal with, say, a severe crisis as an IAS officer, than the young, soft, depressed version? :)

    Let me illustrate with a few common thought-processes:

    --"Damn, I've studied a little and now know all about inflation indices! Time to take a break and laze for the next two days, I've deserved it..." -This is stage I of your brain's detox. Laugh, and move on.

    --"Hmm. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I'm turning into a nerd! A loser! I have no SO, have no social life to speak of, I'm no longer part of the in-crowd. I'm lonely.....set this right or you will be LOST. FOREVER" - This is stage II of detox, and the one I believe you're currently in, OP. Note the desperation creeping into the brain's feedback. Just a little thought would tell you how ridiculous these claims are. Think of all the decades you've got left in which to make friends or whatever. Seriously.

    --"This stuff is boring, and tedious. I don't want to learn about administration. I don't care. I'm wasting my precious youth on THIS?! What am I doing to myself?! All my former colleagues are married, either to or with plush jobs!" -this is stage III, and is followed by a period of pure, unadulterated loathing. You begin to hate your textbooks, hate newspapers, hate boring debates and whatnot. This is the rebellious, teenage phase of the mind, and here logic and will play a huge role in reining the wayward and immature mind back in.

    All IMHO, goes without saying. :)
    @brkms ...good explanation.. =D>

    By the way,what will u suggest if there is always a periodic quarrel going in a family and also there is always an edge of uncertainty prevailing in the mind of an aspirant,no matter how hard he/she studies??
    Thanks, abhi8738. Just sharing my viewpoint as a fellow aspirant, is all. :)

    Quarrels in the family -would this not fall under 'environment', and therefore something that can be safely ignored? If it's still overwhelming, try renting a place and move out until December, perhaps.

    Uncertainty -I treat this as an inner demon - and believe me, if there's one thing I've learnt about people in life, it is that *everyone* has their own particular set of inner demons and insecurities, clawing from within.

    I suppose it's in the choice of material, of what to study and how much effort to put in that the uncertainty creeps in. If it does, one glance at a previous question paper should be enough to tell us if we're perhaps studying too much, or from the wrong angle, or grasping at the wrong end of the argument.
    thanq for such an inspirational explanation , I have gone through and 'am presently going through all the phases you have mentioned. I must counsel myself in the way you have suggested.
  • i am new here. i have always been above average person with good academic record. presently i am in my final semester M.com. till now i have given 4 govt exams and was not selected for interview in 3 out of them. then i was selected in ibps po 3 interview with very good score. if i had even got 50 percent in interview i would have qualified and got allotment. but today i saw that i have not cleared even the interview. rest at such times of crisis preparing for upsc is becoming very difficult. day by day i am feeling demotivated and worthless. please tell me how to get over it. thank you friends

    Then tell yourself that : IAS mere se nahi hoga..mai ek choti naukri se santust rahunga...Koi bhi naukri chalege ..4 ya 5000 ki...I donot need the reputation,power or relevance of a civil servant,i will be satisfied with any damn job...

    P.S. LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF DAILY AND BOIL IN THAT AND THEN COME BACK WITH VENGEANCE TO AVENGE YOUR BIRTHRIGHT OF BEING A CIVIL SERVANT..

    ULTIMATELY THE CHOICE IS YOURS \m/ \m/
    ;))
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