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We don’t know what happened to him after he was turned away from the Centre. We don’t know what he was going through before the exams, because lets face it, we are all under various kinds of stress and we deal with it differently. We don’t know what support he received and how he was counselled, given that he was heavily invested in the exam and lost the opportunity to even try his luck at the it. All of us may seem similar to each other in terms of goals we set and the obstacles we face, but that is just the surface of it. I don’t support his decision either. Nobody in their right mind would. But i also refuse to believe that he was not rational enough to understand the consequences of his act, or that he valued himself any less. Each one of us is invested in our dreams and goals. He was a sincere and hard working aspirant with a great spirit of sacrifice.
We must understand that we are not rational beings who also feel emotions. We are primarily emotional beings and we rationalise our emotions. Most of the times we succeed in rationalising our emotions, but sometimes we are just not that strong. We may feel strong and confident at one moment, but quickly break down later in a manner we never expected would happen feeling helplessly powerless. Maybe he must have faced many hurdles before with upright strength, but when this completely unexpected and unfortunate incident happened with him, he sadly caved in. He needed help and support.
It does not matter whether we as a society are too ambitious, or too judgemental. A society is the sum total of its human beings and it reflects their flaws. What bothers me that is that we as a society are not caring enough. It is not an unknown fact that every year board exams result come and many students commit suicide. Instead of being receptive to this reality, and being on the guard for our the students around us who are invested in these exams, we as a nation are still sleeping and slowly becoming numb to this reality.
Everytime we hear some news of a student suicide, we may feel sad. But we don’t truly empathize. We feel that this person couldn't be us. We could never ever take such a decision for ourselves. We have perspective, this person didn’t. And with this attitude, suicides sadly continue. I believe what German Philosopher Martin Heidegger said, that life is finite, fragile and very temporary but we rarely appreciate its temporary presence. Because we like to think we are in control. But the reality is that we will all face situations of tremendous pressure, emotional investment and staggering steps. We are all strong. We are all also weak. And we need each other to root for ourselves and others. We need to be on guard and cautious.
And when the dust settles, we need to reflect on the structural factors that affect all of us and may lead to helplessness and vulnerability. We need to break the ice in our conversations with our Friends so that help does not seem patronising, so that vulnerability may not be perceived as weakness, so that we may be able to internalise and meditate the narrative of kindness to the self, and steer ourselves through extreme emotions.
Good message but people in center were doing duty and have no personal enmity. People in center are cooperative as far my exp is concerned until you are very late. That’s why it is recommended to visit your center one day in advance before actual day if you don’t know it’s whereabouts. Plus, lot of people attach too much importance to aura of what follows next after clearing exam and look down other jobs which in turn make them unemployed for a long time. As a result when reality struck you hard you are left with no options and emotional deregulation force you to surrender to your circumstances.
Yaar ye to ab ethics paper ki case study ban gayi hai. No right answers, only various approaches and scenarios to tick off. My approach is that rules should be made bearing in mind that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. Even last year at my centre, a guy came early and realised his exam is at a different school with the same name in the same area. He too turned pale and rushed to his destination. What can go wrong, will go wrong. Every year some or the person will the wrong bubble while filling the roll number or other particulars in the question paper. When so many students are attempting the exam, it is wise to be mindful of what course of action should be taken in case of such eventualities. Rules are rules. Nobody can argue with that. But sometimes mistakes are inherent in the structure of entropy, permutations and combinations, not in personal enemity. Moreover, i doubt if he was their own son, or relative or known then they still would not have allowed him to give the exam. No easy answers.
Now you can speak or preach anything and everything, but the truth is that a family lost his diamond. What I have learnt about upsc is that not all hardworking people get through it. You dont know what life holds for you 10 years from now. Passion and madness are needed for upsc but they shouldnt hinder in you in seeing life beyound upsc.
This year my cousin sister got only 72 percent in 10th c.bse board. Whole family relative is behaving like she has committed some crime.
She is kinda fashionable.Everyone is blaming her ki sirf enhi me rehti hai.
My one uncle whos son is in psu through gate and daughter in medical coaching faculty. He is the reason for my mental problems.now my cousin sis is also suffering coz of his taunts.
He thinks his son in psu n daughter in coaching made him proud. Both of them topped in school in 10 n 12.
Yaar Mai toh Phir bhi thoda mature Ho. Wo 10th ki ladki ke personality par kya aasar aayega?
Is 10th so important??
Everytime that guy will tell me. Take any job even for 20 K. Morale of employed person is something diffrent.
Yaar ni Karna mujhe job. I will take Civil services till 26.(Now m 22 officially n 23 in real)
God please give me n my all cousins strength to tackle.
I don't know why people give so much stress to UPSC and its services and make their lives dependent on it. While SDM and DSP in state services are clearly better than everything else apart from IAS/IPS and IFS, that UPSC offers. Especially for those who rant the argument that they want to join these services to "serve the society".
In state service the competition is relatively less (compared to UPSC), age limits are much higher and unlimited number of attempts are there. I'm 22 years old, completed B.Tech last month only from a very reputed govt. college (NIRF rank<25). But I've consciously decided to appear for state PCS with full prep alongwith UPSC. And if I crack state PCS with SDM/DSP, it's the end of road for me.. I'll hang up my boots for good...
To be honest, anyone who has seen a Deputy Collector or Deputy SP in action, especially in non-metro cities, will forget anything UPSC offers below IAS/IPS/IFS.
I don't know why people give so much stress to UPSC and its services and make their lives dependent on it. While SDM and DSP in state services are clearly better than everything else apart from IAS/IPS and IFS, that UPSC offers. Especially for those who rant the argument that they want to join these services to "serve the society".
In state service the competition is relatively less (compared to UPSC), age limits are much higher and unlimited number of attempts are there. I'm 22 years old, completed B.Tech last month only from a very reputed govt. college (NIRF rank<25), but I've consciously decided to appear for state PCS with full prep alongwith UPSC. And if I crack state PCS with SDM/DSP, it's the end of road for me.. I'll hang up my boots for good...
To be honest, anyone who has seen a Deputy Collector or Deputy SP in action, especially in non-metro cities, will forget anything UPSC offers below IAS/IPS/IFS.</blockquote>
This year my cousin sister got only 72 percent in 10th c.bse board. Whole family relative is behaving like she has committed some crime.
She is kinda fashionable.Everyone is blaming her ki sirf enhi me rehti hai.
My one uncle whos son is in psu through gate and daughter in medical coaching faculty. He is the reason for my mental problems.now my cousin sis is also suffering coz of his taunts.
He thinks his son in psu n daughter in coaching made him proud. Both of them topped in school in 10 n 12.
Yaar Mai toh Phir bhi thoda mature Ho. Wo 10th ki ladki ke personality par kya aasar aayega?
Is 10th so important??
Everytime that guy will tell me. Take any job even for 20 K. Morale of employed person is something diffrent.
Yaar ni Karna mujhe job. I will take Civil services till 26.(Now m 22 officially n 23 in real)
God please give me n my all cousins strength to tackle.
No one can give you mental strength. Just remember the sacrifices of your parents nd focus on what mattes. Dont bother with these useless people. If you have money issues, get a job. Otherwise focus as per your plan. Your cousin will have a hard time but she has to prove herself after this to finish these taunts. That is how it is. Society wont change. She has to do what is in her best interest irrrespective of them.
UPSC explicitly mentioned that gates will be closed 10 minutes before. In his 5 the attempt he should have visited the centre a day before to avoid such rush. When you don't get sure about your centre through Google maps then you must visit before. Regarding cooperation at exam centre. Yes they were very cooperative. In my centre there were many discripencies in candidates admit card like it happend with a few that their names an admit card were not matching with their id proof. But they considered and allowed them to go for the exam asked them to get it corrected asap.
The sucide committed by him underlines deep issue of mental health. We only know that he was denied entry and then committed sucide. This is not the reason and real picture. What he was going through no one knows. What he needed was care and support by his family/friends to go to psychiatrist. But in our society don't accept that one is mentally ill. Why do we? Because it is a taboo. Just like being a transgender.
Learn the lessen everyone. If you find any fellow aspirants or anyone around you in distress then kindly ask him to seek psychiatric opinion. It will be very helpful to him/her and the people who care for them.
This life is much more than failing/ passing in an exam. Not all who have been selected are happy and not all who failed are sad. Accept that.
I second this. It is the onus of the student to follow procedure. Clearly he was mentally disturbed and needed help. Going back to his room and being alone just made it worse. I cant imagine the hell his parents are going through. I have seen candidates turned away in other entrance exams too but they didnt do something so drastic.
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Comments
She is kinda fashionable.Everyone is blaming her ki sirf enhi me rehti hai.
My one uncle whos son is in psu through gate and daughter in medical coaching faculty. He is the reason for my mental problems.now my cousin sis is also suffering coz of his taunts.
He thinks his son in psu n daughter in coaching made him proud. Both of them topped in school in 10 n 12.
Yaar Mai toh Phir bhi thoda mature Ho. Wo 10th ki ladki ke personality par kya aasar aayega?
Is 10th so important??
Everytime that guy will tell me. Take any job even for 20 K. Morale of employed person is something diffrent.
Yaar ni Karna mujhe job. I will take Civil services till 26.(Now m 22 officially n 23 in real)
God please give me n my all cousins strength to tackle.
In state service the competition is relatively less (compared to UPSC), age limits are much higher and unlimited number of attempts are there. I'm 22 years old, completed B.Tech last month only from a very reputed govt. college (NIRF rank<25). But I've consciously decided to appear for state PCS with full prep alongwith UPSC. And if I crack state PCS with SDM/DSP, it's the end of road for me.. I'll hang up my boots for good...
To be honest, anyone who has seen a Deputy Collector or Deputy SP in action, especially in non-metro cities, will forget anything UPSC offers below IAS/IPS/IFS.