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Forget me soon: Karnataka UPSC aspirant in suicide note

NEW DELHI: It was Varun Chandran’s fifth attempt at the Civil Services Examination. Coming from a small coastal village Karnataka, he had moved to Delhi five years ago. He shifted to Rajendra Nagar a year ago to save money and time taken to travel to the coaching institute.
Read also: Youth turned away from IAS exam for being late, ends life
But he was unfamiliar with the area his exam centre was located.


https://static.toiimg.com/photo/msid-64460139/64460139.jpg

https://m.timesofindia.com/city/delhi/forget-me-soon-so-that-i-may-rest-in-peace-his-last-message-to-kin/amp_articleshow/64458958.cms#amp_tf=From %1$s
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Comments

  • edited June 2018
    Don't know why this thread still not getting the attention of the other members..I think this unfortunate event completely would hv avoided if the school authority allowed him to enter the exam hall,but the consequences of their rude approach is unpardonable equally also.Dont know what circumstances or in what kind society Varun Chandran belonged ,that underestimates failed UPSC aspirants while more than 99% students failed every year..don't know why society becomes so powerful to take decisions of others.. However I strongly believe that those people who expired their attempt or over aged after 5-6 attempts would be handy for any kind of job in India, because the kind preparation It demands really changes a man completely..
    So, with due all possible respects to our fellow Brother Varun ,I can't support his hasty decision to end his precious Life..
  • Don't know why this thread still not getting the attention of the other members..I think this unfortunate event completely would hv avoided if the school authority allowed him to enter the exam hall,but the consequences of their rude approach is unpardonable equally also.Dont know what circumstances or in what kind society Varun Chandran belonged ,that underestimates failed UPSC aspirants while more than 99% students failed every year..don't know why society becomes so powerful to take decisions of others.. However I strongly believe that those people who expired their attempt or over aged after 5-6 attempts would be handy for any kind of job in India, because the kind preparation It demands really changes a man completely..
    So, with due all possible respects to our fellow Brother Varun ,I can't support his hasty decision to end his precious Life..
    true bro..very true.. :(
  • Don't know why this thread still not getting the attention of the other members..I think this unfortunate event completely would hv avoided if the school authority allowed him to enter the exam hall,but the consequences of their rude approach is unpardonable equally also.Dont know what circumstances or in what kind society Varun Chandran belonged ,that underestimates failed UPSC aspirants while more than 99% students failed every year..don't know why society becomes so powerful to take decisions of others.. However I strongly believe that those people who expired their attempt or over aged after 5-6 attempts would be handy for any kind of job in India, because the kind preparation It demands really changes a man completely..
    So, with due all possible respects to our fellow Brother Varun ,I can't support his hasty decision to end his precious Life..
    its a huge tragedy. its undeniable that livable atmosphere in india is of very low quality. there is such enormous amount of societal pressure that even well meaning , sincere people collapse
  • We don’t know what happened to him after he was turned away from the Centre. We don’t know what he was going through before the exams, because lets face it, we are all under various kinds of stress and we deal with it differently. We don’t know what support he received and how he was counselled, given that he was heavily invested in the exam and lost the opportunity to even try his luck at the it. All of us may seem similar to each other in terms of goals we set and the obstacles we face, but that is just the surface of it. I don’t support his decision either. Nobody in their right mind would. But i also refuse to believe that he was not rational enough to understand the consequences of his act, or that he valued himself any less. Each one of us is invested in our dreams and goals. He was a sincere and hard working aspirant with a great spirit of sacrifice.

    We must understand that we are not rational beings who also feel emotions. We are primarily emotional beings and we rationalise our emotions. Most of the times we succeed in rationalising our emotions, but sometimes we are just not that strong. We may feel strong and confident at one moment, but quickly break down later in a manner we never expected would happen feeling helplessly powerless. Maybe he must have faced many hurdles before with upright strength, but when this completely unexpected and unfortunate incident happened with him, he sadly caved in. He needed help and support.

    It does not matter whether we as a society are too ambitious, or too judgemental. A society is the sum total of its human beings and it reflects their flaws. What bothers me that is that we as a society are not caring enough. It is not an unknown fact that every year board exams result come and many students commit suicide. Instead of being receptive to this reality, and being on the guard for our the students around us who are invested in these exams, we as a nation are still sleeping and slowly becoming numb to this reality.

    Everytime we hear some news of a student suicide, we may feel sad. But we don’t truly empathize. We feel that this person couldn't be us. We could never ever take such a decision for ourselves. We have perspective, this person didn’t. And with this attitude, suicides sadly continue. I believe what German Philosopher Martin Heidegger said, that life is finite, fragile and very temporary but we rarely appreciate its temporary presence. Because we like to think we are in control. But the reality is that we will all face situations of tremendous pressure, emotional investment and staggering steps. We are all strong. We are all also weak. And we need each other to root for ourselves and others. We need to be on guard and cautious.

    And when the dust settles, we need to reflect on the structural factors that affect all of us and may lead to helplessness and vulnerability. We need to break the ice in our conversations with our Friends so that help does not seem patronising, so that vulnerability may not be perceived as weakness, so that we may be able to internalise and meditate the narrative of kindness to the self, and steer ourselves through extreme emotions.
  • no where in world, do students take such drastic steps in such huge numbers due to pressure of " exam". these " exams" especially these 10, 12th exams are such low quality, non sensical rituals. we have people here getting 499 out of 500! 100/100 in English, physics, commerce, social studies etc. how can one get full marks in these subjects? if we have such geniuses here, why we lag behind so poorly academically and in everything
  • no where in world, do students take such drastic steps in such huge numbers due to pressure of " exam". these " exams" especially these 10, 12th exams are such low quality, non sensical rituals. we have people here getting 499 out of 500! 100/100 in English, physics, commerce, social studies etc. how can one get full marks in these subjects? if we have such geniuses here, why we lag behind so poorly academically and in everything
    +1
  • NEW DELHI: It was Varun Chandran’s fifth attempt at the Civil Services Examination. Coming from a small coastal village Karnataka, he had moved to Delhi five years ago. He shifted to Rajendra Nagar a year ago to save money and time taken to travel to the coaching institute.
    Read also: Youth turned away from IAS exam for being late, ends life
    But he was unfamiliar with the area his exam centre was located.


    https://static.toiimg.com/photo/msid-64460139/64460139.jpg

    https://m.timesofindia.com/city/delhi/forget-me-soon-so-that-i-may-rest-in-peace-his-last-message-to-kin/amp_articleshow/64458958.cms#amp_tf=From %1$s
    Very sad incident. It reminds all that life much more than upsc. And not been able to clear it is not the end of life. Hope in future this rat race will end.
  • We don’t know what happened to him after he was turned away from the Centre. We don’t know what he was going through before the exams, because lets face it, we are all under various kinds of stress and we deal with it differently. We don’t know what support he received and how he was counselled, given that he was heavily invested in the exam and lost the opportunity to even try his luck at the it. All of us may seem similar to each other in terms of goals we set and the obstacles we face, but that is just the surface of it. I don’t support his decision either. Nobody in their right mind would. But i also refuse to believe that he was not rational enough to understand the consequences of his act, or that he valued himself any less. Each one of us is invested in our dreams and goals. He was a sincere and hard working aspirant with a great spirit of sacrifice.

    We must understand that we are not rational beings who also feel emotions. We are primarily emotional beings and we rationalise our emotions. Most of the times we succeed in rationalising our emotions, but sometimes we are just not that strong. We may feel strong and confident at one moment, but quickly break down later in a manner we never expected would happen feeling helplessly powerless. Maybe he must have faced many hurdles before with upright strength, but when this completely unexpected and unfortunate incident happened with him, he sadly caved in. He needed help and support.

    It does not matter whether we as a society are too ambitious, or too judgemental. A society is the sum total of its human beings and it reflects their flaws. What bothers me that is that we as a society are not caring enough. It is not an unknown fact that every year board exams result come and many students commit suicide. Instead of being receptive to this reality, and being on the guard for our the students around us who are invested in these exams, we as a nation are still sleeping and slowly becoming numb to this reality.

    Everytime we hear some news of a student suicide, we may feel sad. But we don’t truly empathize. We feel that this person couldn't be us. We could never ever take such a decision for ourselves. We have perspective, this person didn’t. And with this attitude, suicides sadly continue. I believe what German Philosopher Martin Heidegger said, that life is finite, fragile and very temporary but we rarely appreciate its temporary presence. Because we like to think we are in control. But the reality is that we will all face situations of tremendous pressure, emotional investment and staggering steps. We are all strong. We are all also weak. And we need each other to root for ourselves and others. We need to be on guard and cautious.

    And when the dust settles, we need to reflect on the structural factors that affect all of us and may lead to helplessness and vulnerability. We need to break the ice in our conversations with our Friends so that help does not seem patronising, so that vulnerability may not be perceived as weakness, so that we may be able to internalise and meditate the narrative of kindness to the self, and steer ourselves through extreme emotions.
    Good message but people in center were doing duty and have no personal enmity. People in center are cooperative as far my exp is concerned until you are very late. That’s why it is recommended to visit your center one day in advance before actual day if you don’t know it’s whereabouts. Plus, lot of people attach too much importance to aura of what follows next after clearing exam and look down other jobs which in turn make them unemployed for a long time. As a result when reality struck you hard you are left with no options and emotional deregulation force you to surrender to your circumstances.
  • UPSC explicitly mentioned that gates will be closed 10 minutes before. In his 5 the attempt he should have visited the centre a day before to avoid such rush. When you don't get sure about your centre through Google maps then you must visit before. Regarding cooperation at exam centre. Yes they were very cooperative. In my centre there were many discripencies in candidates admit card like it happend with a few that their names an admit card were not matching with their id proof. But they considered and allowed them to go for the exam asked them to get it corrected asap.

    The sucide committed by him underlines deep issue of mental health. We only know that he was denied entry and then committed sucide. This is not the reason and real picture. What he was going through no one knows. What he needed was care and support by his family/friends to go to psychiatrist. But in our society don't accept that one is mentally ill. Why do we? Because it is a taboo. Just like being a transgender.

    Learn the lessen everyone. If you find any fellow aspirants or anyone around you in distress then kindly ask him to seek psychiatric opinion. It will be very helpful to him/her and the people who care for them.

    This life is much more than failing/ passing in an exam. Not all who have been selected are happy and not all who failed are sad. Accept that.
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