one of my friend's husband is a porn addict.. videos involving fantasies like father- daughter,brother-sister,doc-patient ,master-slave are common in these websites.. he forces her to play these roles.. while intercourse he uses words like "i hav f** ur mom" and u r my bas** child... he forcefully pulls her hair.. twist her hands.. bites her...she was 19 when she got married.. she thought sex is normally done lyk this until she talked to me few days back.. she thought i do same with my gf..
i asked her to leave him.. she said he behaves lyk this only during intercourse.. he has financed her education.. she is indebted as her parents did not financed her education.... there is no where to go ..society even her own ll nt support her...
there ll b several examples lyk this..what is solution to these kind of problems.. where we as a society hav failed.. is porn a reason behind this where sexual domination is common.. do we require a feminization of porn.. should we ban it.. should we teach our children to love which is a sin in india, though our culture speaks otherwise.. is it because of the dissociation of love and sex which is imp for a emotionally evolved species .. i leave the ans to u...
Comments
Few solutions can be
Discuss the issue openly with him.
Collect relevant literature explaining the bad consequences of such behaviour. It's very likely that he might engage in extra marital affair in future once he gets bored with role playing.
Ask him to engage in some meditation course like vipassana or brahmkumari.
someone else's bedroom fantasies are no one's business unless they are doing damage in other spheres of life.
Just cuz you think such fantasies are immoral, you asked her to leave her husband? I mean seriously?
and there is no feminization of porn or anything like that. porn is porn. period. there are numerous fantasies involving both male and female dominance. problem is that we make complex things out of simple objects. lets see things in a neutral perspective when we are talking in terms of society.
Sex education is the solution
I cannot imagine a woman discussing such issues with a male friend so openly. Kudos to you for being such a friend.
Or probably you are just lying!
Whatever be the truth, I think instances like the situation you just described are emerging in the society. Having said that, if the role play is by consent, I don't think there is anything wrong in it. But often, there are acts committed by husbands which are not by consent.
Due to the availability of porn to kids/ youth who are not able to discriminate what is right or wrong, at an impressionable age think that what is shown in pornography is normal.
Through such conditioning, there is an addiction which develops. Now, the shock value to get a "high" has to be furthered and hence more extreme form of pornography is developed. This extreme form becomes the new normal.
Lately, there have been initiatives being taken like http://makelovenotporn.com/pages/landing being taken to sensitize people that such problems do exist. There are numerous ted talks on the subject.
What is required is for healthy sexual relationships to develop, based on consent and not force. For such to happen, it is important that parents start talking to their kids about sex, sex education to be imparted and sex to be not talked as a taboo, nor as something which can be trivialized or trashed like in the recently released movies Mastizaade and Kya Kool Hain Hum 3. There is a need to open-channels for women to voice against acts of unnatural sex. Though marital rape is not acknowledged in India currently, the more women come forward to ask for their rights, I think the more would society would fight against such things.
The next question that needs to be asked is: " can we restrict access to pornography?" I believe for a country which defends its abolition of prostitution on the grounds of public morality, partial ban on pornography which is extreme can be explored. Something like 2X allowed, 3X banned. Who decides such definitions? As the US Supreme court said, you know what is porn and what is not! The chinese have a department to categorize porn!