Failed in UPSC 3 times. Wrote 1 mains. Failed in RBI,BPSC. Feeling dejected,rejected and soiled.

Orwell_22

Yaar har insaan ki problems alag alag hain. Har ek ki conditions alag hain. Idhar jo koi bhi suggestions de raha, pehle apna hi ginwaye ja raha. Banda udhar depressed hoke aaya aur idhar baki logon ki sunne baith gaya. Yeh toh wohi baat ho gayi ke koi kisi Doctor ke paas ilaaj karwane gaya aur Doctor patient ko baitha ke apni bimaariyaan ginwaane laga aur expect kar raha ke ab patient better feel karega.

Kisi ko agar achha feel karana ho toh baith ke uski baat sunte hain and uske accordingly suggestions dete hain. Apni raam kahani nahin bataane lagte hain usse.

यहां अपनी राम कहानी सुनाने का ये उद्देश्य था ताकि बंदे को camaraderie महसूस हो सके कि वो अकेला नहीं जो इन परिस्थितियों से गुजर रहा है। सभी किसी ना किसी हालात के मारे है लेकिन फिर भी मैदान में टिके हुए हैं।
Everybody goes through these circumstances at one point in their life.
The aim was to make the OP feel stronger by sharing our emotions. Clearly it went past you.

Just_Chill

I've been in your position. Feels like shit to be honest.
Only solution is patience and continuation of efforts.

I know it's not easy to just pick up books and start studying. That won't happen, everytime you try to study, those emotions just drag you down and show you everything that you don't want to see.

The key to overcome this is by controlling your emotions. That will happen when you understand how can you keep yourself happy or positive for a prolonged period between intermittent episodes of flashback. The methods are different for different people.

Let me explain a few of them.

Eating food. If you love food, just keep binging on your favourite food for 3 times a day for 2 weeks straight.

Listening to music, those ones which uplift your mood and make you feel like dancing.

Traveling, just go alone in your city, talk to random people. Sit and watch things. You'll start to feel that you are not alone and there's still lot left in you.

Spend time with siblings or parents or relatives or friends. Just chit chat like crazy and laugh your heart over no matter how silly the topic is.

Watch motivational videos on YouTube. Which will reignite your spark to do something in life.

Indulge in any guilty pleasure you want to, the point is to just keep yourself in a happy happy mood.

Once you do that for say 2 to 3 weeks. You'll slowly start touching books once again without any force. When we become saturated with something, we try to look for other things. When you get saturated with happiness you'll try finding pleasure in books. It happens automatically don't worry.

Once you get back to books, don't just repeat everything again. First things first, what went wrong and how can I correct it should be the step.

Chalk out a strategy, aim small. Aim for small exams, and crack them just for the heck of it. Once you do that, you'll get back your confidence and probably crack tougher exams to elevate your life on the plane of your dreams.

All the best, you can do it.

Also I will tell you a universal secret as I move away from this thread. After a string of failures, you will only witness success. It just works that way, I don't know how but you'll become lucky and get things. So your success is just around the corner. You just gotta keep moving and find where it is hidden just for you.

@pizzza Bhai. Thanks.. I feel low for myself but I am feeling guilty and responsible for her. She waited for 3 yrs patiently without asking anything and compromising on many things in life. Now I have pushed her into a black holes..a situation from where no light of hope can be seen. And this guilt is pinching me..

Aww! Don't worry my dear brother. Come here, lemme give you a bear hug. You will be perfectly alright in a few days. Sach mei.
It's the emotions thing. You're attached with her and hence, the difficulty. Nobody likes to let things go they love so much.

Umm lemme tell you something.
I'm sure you may have heard of this somewhere.
"All good things come to an end".

They certainly do. All good things, one day, they'll no longer be in our life. It's a different matter whether it comes back again or not, But they do go away one day. That's how life and nature works.

This situation has come in your life because the entity that controls this universe wants you to learn something. That something is, "The art of letting things go".

As you grow up in your life, You will lose many good things. Many personal things. It happens with each one of us. But then, how does life move? Life moves because when it happens for the first time. We learn to cope up with such a situation, it's a learning for life-time.

As you slowly overcome this situation, you'll learn a lot about how to keep your emotions in check and how to rationally invest your emotions.

Don't worry it's like a bitter pill, In the end you will be super strong.

The key, like i said, is to just face the life as it is by keeping yourself in a good mood as much as possible. Try to maintain a note book and note down how many hours a day you are happy everyday. Write it down before going to sleep and slowly you'll learn to maximize and manage the happy hours.

Ho jayega, sab sahi hojayega!!!! Patience rakho, masti karo.

Good yaar ...kabhi kabhi apne jaan pehchaan ke logo mere jaise ko Bhi Bata Diya Karo yaar Thora bahut

Oathkeeper

Yaar har insaan ki problems alag alag hain. Har ek ki conditions alag hain. Idhar jo koi bhi suggestions de raha, pehle apna hi ginwaye ja raha. Banda udhar depressed hoke aaya aur idhar baki logon ki sunne baith gaya. Yeh toh wohi baat ho gayi ke koi kisi Doctor ke paas ilaaj karwane gaya aur Doctor patient ko baitha ke apni bimaariyaan ginwaane laga aur expect kar raha ke ab patient better feel karega.

Kisi ko agar achha feel karana ho toh baith ke uski baat sunte hain and uske accordingly suggestions dete hain. Apni raam kahani nahin bataane lagte hain usse. Aur kuch log toh almost daant bhi rahe ke “aise kyun feel kar liya tune. Tune toh kuch dekha hi nahin life mein phir bhi aisa feel kar liya. How dare you to feel like that?”

Matlab hadd hai. Kya hi bolein!!

...Tareeka kuch bhi ho par har koi yahi chhata hai ki unki pareshani thodi c kam ho jaye...hai na?

Hmm. Tareeka hi uske liye abhi matter karta hai jis state mein woh hai. Baki idhar koi monster toh hai nahin jo dusre ke dukh mein enjoy karega!!

Jee

Romeo_Rouhani

Yaar har insaan ki problems alag alag hain. Har ek ki conditions alag hain. Idhar jo koi bhi suggestions de raha, pehle apna hi ginwaye ja raha. Banda udhar depressed hoke aaya aur idhar baki logon ki sunne baith gaya. Yeh toh wohi baat ho gayi ke koi kisi Doctor ke paas ilaaj karwane gaya aur Doctor patient ko baitha ke apni bimaariyaan ginwaane laga aur expect kar raha ke ab patient better feel karega.

Kisi ko agar achha feel karana ho toh baith ke uski baat sunte hain and uske accordingly suggestions dete hain. Apni raam kahani nahin bataane lagte hain usse.

यहां अपनी राम कहानी सुनाने का ये उद्देश्य था ताकि बंदे को camaraderie महसूस हो सके कि वो अकेला नहीं जो इन परिस्थितियों से गुजर रहा है। सभी किसी ना किसी हालात के मारे है लेकिन फिर भी मैदान में टिके हुए हैं।
Everybody goes through these circumstances at one point in their life.
The aim was to make the OP feel stronger by sharing our emotions. Clearly it went past you.

Read my comment again. Esp the one under quotations. That was the crux which, in your own words, “went past you”.

Orwell_22

Yaar har insaan ki problems alag alag hain. Har ek ki conditions alag hain. Idhar jo koi bhi suggestions de raha, pehle apna hi ginwaye ja raha. Banda udhar depressed hoke aaya aur idhar baki logon ki sunne baith gaya. Yeh toh wohi baat ho gayi ke koi kisi Doctor ke paas ilaaj karwane gaya aur Doctor patient ko baitha ke apni bimaariyaan ginwaane laga aur expect kar raha ke ab patient better feel karega.

Kisi ko agar achha feel karana ho toh baith ke uski baat sunte hain and uske accordingly suggestions dete hain. Apni raam kahani nahin bataane lagte hain usse.

यहां अपनी राम कहानी सुनाने का ये उद्देश्य था ताकि बंदे को camaraderie महसूस हो सके कि वो अकेला नहीं जो इन परिस्थितियों से गुजर रहा है। सभी किसी ना किसी हालात के मारे है लेकिन फिर भी मैदान में टिके हुए हैं।
Everybody goes through these circumstances at one point in their life.
The aim was to make the OP feel stronger by sharing our emotions. Clearly it went past you.

Read my comment again. Esp the one under quotations. That was the crux which, in your own words, “went past you”.

Oh forget it. I have got better things to do than stand around here entertaining the virtual warriors.
Peace out.

Just_Chill

Leaving aside the exams ...failed in life itself for more than 2 years :had many missing days ...

Romeo_Rouhani

Yaar har insaan ki problems alag alag hain. Har ek ki conditions alag hain. Idhar jo koi bhi suggestions de raha, pehle apna hi ginwaye ja raha. Banda udhar depressed hoke aaya aur idhar baki logon ki sunne baith gaya. Yeh toh wohi baat ho gayi ke koi kisi Doctor ke paas ilaaj karwane gaya aur Doctor patient ko baitha ke apni bimaariyaan ginwaane laga aur expect kar raha ke ab patient better feel karega.

Kisi ko agar achha feel karana ho toh baith ke uski baat sunte hain and uske accordingly suggestions dete hain. Apni raam kahani nahin bataane lagte hain usse.

यहां अपनी राम कहानी सुनाने का ये उद्देश्य था ताकि बंदे को camaraderie महसूस हो सके कि वो अकेला नहीं जो इन परिस्थितियों से गुजर रहा है। सभी किसी ना किसी हालात के मारे है लेकिन फिर भी मैदान में टिके हुए हैं।
Everybody goes through these circumstances at one point in their life.
The aim was to make the OP feel stronger by sharing our emotions. Clearly it went past you.

Read my comment again. Esp the one under quotations. That was the crux which, in your own words, “went past you”.

Oh forget it. I have got better things to do than stand around here entertaining the virtual warriors.
Peace out.

It was you who jumped and quoted me in the above comment. Seems, you forgot that. Try meditation. It will certainly help you!

Meditation se yaad aaya. Peace out!

master_stroke

Till now you might have started thinking how silly your problem is.But this is how we mature.as a child we use to be so possessive about toys that seldom lasted few months.


Similarly person who left you now will not matter after 10 years from now on .but the time your are killing cant come back you will regret and taunt yourself. When you will see your seemingly average or below average classmates relatives getting success you will curse for the time you are killing.Age and financial pressure will take their course.you may not continue to prepare full time. So dear
Make the hay till the sun shines.

Ya its easier said then done.rejection combined with failure in exams makes you feel worthless.however no body but only you can change the situation.The biggest casuality is confidence. AT times your preparations will bring you very close to your goals but lack of self belief will drag you out.

Believe me every relationships comes with conditions applied i.e. to be compartively more smart,successful, rich,supportive,loving then what the market has to offer.

Devloping routine,having a pet which makes you feel wanted and being loved ,giving even small exams of your zoner very seriously,targeted studies and jym are some methods to cope up.

At death bed you will only bother about how you lived your life not how people treated you. will ponder had i made it large.make sure answer is yes. Tc

Just_Chill

^^^^For the time being, it lacks pragmatism

Krk

This is the lowest point in life. I lost my confidence, self-respect and also about to loose the person dearest to me. Don't know how to standup from here and move forward...

Parent?

Not parents... Gf. I can't blame her.. it's all my fault.last yr wrote mains.. but this year failed in pre of UPSC,RBI and now BPSC. No one can wait for infinite times specially when nothing seems to go right.

If she cant wait may be she is not gf but fg. It might sound hard but this is going to make u a much better human. Dont worry god is always on your side watching you from third angle so that u dont c him.