I am in a dilemma and lot of confusion (I am speaking on behalf of all those people who are in same situation as me). I am currently in job (working in BARC), and also preparing for civils. My first attempt was in 2012 in which I cleared prelims but cudnt clear mains. Then I skipped 2013 due to some issues and 2014 prelims was my second attempt. This year’s prelims seemed tough to me. I don’t know where my preparation went wrong. I was much more prepared this time than in 2012, still I am not getting through this time. I will not get more than 190 score. I did read NCERTs, bipan Chandra, spectrum culture, hindu, gktoday, mrunal, laxmikanth etc. and revised them well. Still this was of little help, as much of the questions were either too general, or based on facts which we skip many times due to there being too irrelevant to the exam. Now, if this year I am not able to clear prelims, it will be a great demotivation, because I cleared it in the first attempt after all. I am confused now. What should one read, how to read, what to follow, what to not. I don’t even know if I should start preparing for mains (though chances of me clearing prelims are less). I have been preparing for this exam since 3 years. Any strategy I choose seems to fail. All work and efforts seem to go fruitless .Now I have lost the confidence of clearing prelims also. Its like being brought back to the zero position after a long journey.
This is a tough time for me. I do not have any fellow aspirants with whom I can share the pains, though few of the aspirants whom I knew have already cleared and they do not reply to me now. I don’t know why inspite of reading every standard book and newspapers I have failed. There was no dearth of revision either. Thats a different thing that I read selectively (which everyone does in case of books like year book and spectrum culture), but then if questions come only from the part I didn’t select then it means I should read every line of the books. This also means less retention or less time for revision. I hope you all realise the kind of maze I have got myself stuck into. I am in research job, but I don’t have the aptitude for it. So every day in my job is like a weight to drag. I dream of joining civil services, but that seems to be more distant now. I cannot leave my job either due to some financial issues. I even dropped my promotion interview here because of my preparation. It seems the more I want to join the civil services, the more I am dragged away from it.
I have great expectations from people of this forum that they will help people like me by saying anything which we would need to know, learn or start doing. Looking forward to enlightening and motivating discussions/ experience sharing or anything, else I will have to live my whole life believing I am stupid.
Comments
This pained me after seeing this. I am too in a kind of job completely different from my abilities. Me too cannot leave the job or take medical leave for long due to financial constraints. Bro, don't lose hope so early . Keep preparing for mains which will be helpful this year or next year. Strategize in a different way now. May be writing/making notes/typing in laptop will help, just reading is not much help these days for prelims if one doesnt have very high memory capacity. Anyway start preparing, donot wait for the result.
+1 having a job gives a kind of security. less tension about civils exam
thanks for the motivation brother.....hope I could make it one day , otherwise you know the pain of being in the job you dont wana do....will suffer one more year and see what destiny has in store for me.....