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My family or anyone in society would say ki kya kr rahe the?? Result dikhana chyie next year. Result nhi dikha toh they would say mehnat nhi ki.. !!! why is it so? How do i convince my family atleast?
People who get selected every year are not aliens, if they can do it so can you. Prepare honestly, you will get result sooner or later. Making new threads very frequently and asking suggestions for every problem on public forum will lead you nowhere. Everyone has a story of troubles. You shouldn't give it a damn what others think of you. Once you get selected, these very people will come and say i knew you will do it.........So work hard..dnt overthink..Prelims is coming...ATB.
Take your parents in confidence by talking to them and keep working forward. Relatives(close or far) and neighbours should not matter to you. And they wont if your parents agree to your long term goals because they will have to listen to most of the "talks/advices/comparisons". Once your parents are with you(tell them worst case scenarios as well, & ask for 2 years minimum) you would be at peace!
However, If it is the parents who want something quick to materialise, i would say try to get a job before entering upsc. Banks finish process very quickly, you may try that job.
The only thing I would say is make a timeline till when you would give exams I mean the age or the year say 2019 or 2020.. and tell the Same to your parents. they are worried because of uncertainty. By doing this you would take your parents in confidence and create a deadline for you as well.. and forget about the society, they would criticise and say things at your back even if you get into service. I know a senior of mine got selected in 5th attempt.. so called society congratulated him but at his back they used to say 5 6 saal padhane k Baad koi bhi select ho jaata hai.. bottomline don't think much about them, you are not accountable to them..
Age, Relatives, Marriage, Financial Issues, Friends and Siblings
1. Don't look for support. The more you look for support the more vulnerable you will feel.The more vulnerable you will feel, the more shitty our prep will be. So act.
2. Make a mental roadmap. Explain to your parents what you covered, why you failed and how you'll do better next time. Its like making a deal. Maintain seriousness while you do it. Lets say they disagree, ask for an attempt and study hard.
3. Do not teach your parents about life and society but tell them your situation clearly. Dont tell them exam clear nahi hua. Tell them, ye books padhi thi, ye current affairs padhi thi, ye notes banaye par kahina kahi reh gaya/gayi toh ab mai aur mehnat karung/gi, kya aap saath doge?I personally make my mom see the books, notes and make her realise the quantum of prep.You have to sell yourself rather than assume your parents will have your back.If they emphasize on your failures, explain to them how competition will improve your abilities, make you a stronger, smarter person and how you'll work hard to acheive this.
4. If youre family is business oriented, prepare while working. Its tough to explain to business oriented people the quality of this exam because a) its a service b) youre working for other people instead of yourself c) there are no short term/medium term gains D) youre a net consumer of energy, resources until you clear this exam, so a net consumer over a long time period is not a socially profitable asset( this sounds weird but what I have felt is that Indians do think like that, even if the object is a person)
5.Relatives- Best strategy: Minimal contact. If they mould your parents opinion, play victim. Explain to them how they are negatively affecting your abilities thus wasting time and resources while they could support you all the way to power. 6. Friends- Rationalize. Have one to two.If they keep highlighting your negativities, delete them from your life. Sounds cruel and harsh? Yes. It;ll take it for you to win.
But the best advise is to think long term. Cover Optional, basic books well and look for other jobs, prepare while working.
Bhai let me say something. I too have faced similar issues. Let me assume: Parents yaha chintit hai for u..and unhe bharosa nhi ki ye ladka nikal payega upsc kuki bachpan se track record kuch khas nhi, aur unhe ye v lagta h ki Sab delhi jate h ek se ek coaching join krte h etc etc tab ja kr nikalta h..in short unka only chinta yah hai ki yah settle kaise hoga... About relatives..inka bas ek hi tension h ki galti se v kahi qualify na kr le yah ladka..aur ye wo relatives honge jinke khud k bachhe ssc,po,tcs etc m job kr rhe honge..baki relatives jinke bachhe avi school etc m h unhe koi mtlb nhi hoga tumse...aur ek assumption tumhare dad awesome gvt job nhi krte par unhe pata h in sab competition m failures k bare m..but mom house wife h..to utna idea nhi hai. Now solution: Ignore your relatives..means bhad mein jaye sab..mere sath hua tha ek uncle mukhse bole ..to beta kya kr rhe ho..mai bola kuch nhi uncle taiyari kr rha hun..par pass hi nhi ho rha..aap to "samajhdar" ho..jante hi ho ki in sab m time lagta hi h..aj tak khud ko wo samajhdar hi samajh rhe aur fir kavi aisa sawal nhi kiye(3 saal beet chuka h). Parents ko samjhao ki kosis kr rha pr pass nhi ho pa rha..fir wo apna chinta jahir karenge..ab bas ek kaam krna..ibps clerk, ssc ya koi v state gvt ka jab kahi exam ho rha ho to unko le jana centre mein..khas kr exam jab khtm ho chuka ho..sabke chehre dikhana..99% mayus chehre unme se kuch overaged uncles v honge unhe to jarur dikhana..fir batana dekho is centre m itne students h pr fact yah h ki pure cntr se max2-3 hi pass honge.. Sab mehnat kiye the tab hi exam dene aye the..means samjhana jaise v ho sake ki..tough h..mai v laga hua hun.. Mujhe jyada taklif hoti h har ek baar fail hone se..par fir se lagna padta h agle hi din se taiyari mein.. Tumlog ko mera result sun kr takleef hota h..to samjho batane m mera kya haal hota hoga.. Result to mai jis din nikalta h usi din dekh letq hun..pr batata tb hun jab tum log kq mood thoda positive dikhta h..itna din bharosha kiye ho thoda aur kr lo.. Bharosa nhi v kiye ho to bas thoda sah lo aur.. In short badhiya se baat karo unse, ma baap hai..know u better then anyone else. Mahaul kharab h is liye jyada tension lete h. Relatives hi h jo mahaul kharab kiye hue h, ignore kro unko..ek baar to mere shadi ka v tension ho gya tha unhe to meri mummy ko bole..chinta ho rha h iska kab karega shadi.. Mai bol dya.. Mummy bol do unko ki ek aur shadi khud kr le mere badle..mind busy rahega. U have 2 options mere bhai.1) Convince then work hard or 2)Work hard to convince. Koi convince ho ya na ho 3rd june to ayega hi..so option 2 follow karo P.S:Kuch jyada ya galat kah dya to maaf krna
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Comments
Take your parents in confidence by talking to them and keep working forward.
Relatives(close or far) and neighbours should not matter to you. And they wont if your parents agree to your long term goals because they will have to listen to most of the "talks/advices/comparisons".
Once your parents are with you(tell them worst case scenarios as well, & ask for 2 years minimum) you would be at peace!
However, If it is the parents who want something quick to materialise, i would say try to get a job before entering upsc. Banks finish process very quickly, you may try that job.
Age, Relatives, Marriage, Financial Issues, Friends and Siblings
1. Don't look for support. The more you look for support the more vulnerable you will feel.The more vulnerable you will feel, the more shitty our prep will be. So act.
2. Make a mental roadmap. Explain to your parents what you covered, why you failed and how you'll do better next time. Its like making a deal. Maintain seriousness while you do it. Lets say they disagree, ask for an attempt and study hard.
3. Do not teach your parents about life and society but tell them your situation clearly. Dont tell them exam clear nahi hua. Tell them, ye books padhi thi, ye current affairs padhi thi, ye notes banaye par kahina kahi reh gaya/gayi toh ab mai aur mehnat karung/gi, kya aap saath doge?I personally make my mom see the books, notes and make her realise the quantum of prep.You have to sell yourself rather than assume your parents will have your back.If they emphasize on your failures, explain to them how competition will improve your abilities, make you a stronger, smarter person and how you'll work hard to acheive this.
4. If youre family is business oriented, prepare while working. Its tough to explain to business oriented people the quality of this exam because
a) its a service
b) youre working for other people instead of yourself
c) there are no short term/medium term gains
D) youre a net consumer of energy, resources until you clear this exam, so a net consumer over a long time period is not a socially profitable asset( this sounds weird but what I have felt is that Indians do think like that, even if the object is a person)
5.Relatives- Best strategy: Minimal contact. If they mould your parents opinion, play victim. Explain to them how they are negatively affecting your abilities thus wasting time and resources while they could support you all the way to power.
6. Friends- Rationalize. Have one to two.If they keep highlighting your negativities, delete them from your life. Sounds cruel and harsh? Yes. It;ll take it for you to win.
But the best advise is to think long term. Cover Optional, basic books well and look for other jobs, prepare while working.
Let me assume: Parents yaha chintit hai for u..and unhe bharosa nhi ki ye ladka nikal payega upsc kuki bachpan se track record kuch khas nhi, aur unhe ye v lagta h ki Sab delhi jate h ek se ek coaching join krte h etc etc tab ja kr nikalta h..in short unka only chinta yah hai ki yah settle kaise hoga... About relatives..inka bas ek hi tension h ki galti se v kahi qualify na kr le yah ladka..aur ye wo relatives honge jinke khud k bachhe ssc,po,tcs etc m job kr rhe honge..baki relatives jinke bachhe avi school etc m h unhe koi mtlb nhi hoga tumse...aur ek assumption tumhare dad awesome gvt job nhi krte par unhe pata h in sab competition m failures k bare m..but mom house wife h..to utna idea nhi hai.
Now solution: Ignore your relatives..means bhad mein jaye sab..mere sath hua tha ek uncle mukhse bole ..to beta kya kr rhe ho..mai bola kuch nhi uncle taiyari kr rha hun..par pass hi nhi ho rha..aap to "samajhdar" ho..jante hi ho ki in sab m time lagta hi h..aj tak khud ko wo samajhdar hi samajh rhe aur fir kavi aisa sawal nhi kiye(3 saal beet chuka h).
Parents ko samjhao ki kosis kr rha pr pass nhi ho pa rha..fir wo apna chinta jahir karenge..ab bas ek kaam krna..ibps clerk, ssc ya koi v state gvt ka jab kahi exam ho rha ho to unko le jana centre mein..khas kr exam jab khtm ho chuka ho..sabke chehre dikhana..99% mayus chehre unme se kuch overaged uncles v honge unhe to jarur dikhana..fir batana dekho is centre m itne students h pr fact yah h ki pure cntr se max2-3 hi pass honge.. Sab mehnat kiye the tab hi exam dene aye the..means samjhana jaise v ho sake ki..tough h..mai v laga hua hun.. Mujhe jyada taklif hoti h har ek baar fail hone se..par fir se lagna padta h agle hi din se taiyari mein.. Tumlog ko mera result sun kr takleef hota h..to samjho batane m mera kya haal hota hoga.. Result to mai jis din nikalta h usi din dekh letq hun..pr batata tb hun jab tum log kq mood thoda positive dikhta h..itna din bharosha kiye ho thoda aur kr lo.. Bharosa nhi v kiye ho to bas thoda sah lo aur..
In short badhiya se baat karo unse, ma baap hai..know u better then anyone else. Mahaul kharab h is liye jyada tension lete h.
Relatives hi h jo mahaul kharab kiye hue h, ignore kro unko..ek baar to mere shadi ka v tension ho gya tha unhe to meri mummy ko bole..chinta ho rha h iska kab karega shadi.. Mai bol dya.. Mummy bol do unko ki ek aur shadi khud kr le mere badle..mind busy rahega.
U have 2 options mere bhai.1) Convince then work hard or 2)Work hard to convince.
Koi convince ho ya na ho 3rd june to ayega hi..so option 2 follow karo
P.S:Kuch jyada ya galat kah dya to maaf krna
I feel the same @Workhard
Enough of your threads..Aarm manthan is the best way out