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how to deal with depression ? old/unmarried/injob junta

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  • Evn buddha left home at d age of 29 and mahavir left at 30
    thnak god UPSC wasnt there at that time else they wud had ended up at ORN/mukharjee nagar in a state similar ... UPSC prep is the modern day moksha

  • I just have a question for you..
    Do you want success in life or satisfaction?

    Success is the parameter which is set by people around
    Satisfaction is totally decided by you. You are the ruler.

    .
    yeah we all are the ruler but the domain is limited that it is often neglected ... consider CSE .. other services are at par too but differ in domain .. one can be in postal service and feel fully satisfied .. still we are yet to see a guy who put up postal as the first choice ...the point is that satisfaction come as consolation after you got something .. and at that u might be wrong ... i dont wanna be wrong .. wud go to any length of statistics ,discussion logic to choose the right path .. that what we doin till now ... desicion making .. logical desicion making ...

    th e problem is starts like a dilema .. its the like alexander and soldier before crossing the ganges .. alexander want to cross and conqueer .. the soldiers think they had enough .. and putting the effort to cross the ganges might not advantegous in terms of pros and cons ...when a corp goes worng they make the job to consultancy firm .. or take a average of as many opinion as it wud close to the normal


  • Baki stop visiting the forums -> Forums despite being source of socializing with people with same hobby (CSE Preparation) could trigger anxiety and frustration
    Hmmm... Good point... Had thoughts in same general direction but never articulated them for myself...
    Will keep that in my kitty...
  • @The Wolf of Wall Street
    dost
    1. the thing you are searching is inside you (Believe me , i know it like anything) .you would not get `that `thing here, though you may get to interact with like minded or sympathisers or even rascals
    2. regarding "uncle" thing, show some Emotional intelligence ya
    3. Be flexible and humble , good things and people would be attracted to you
    4. suicide solution - list things which motivate you for a day or two - movies, drinks, go and meet strangers in pubs, sit alone in a park, talk about your feelings with any person who may listen to you calmly, go to book fairs, buy something for any street dog you may see (they love eggs with proper salt, onion etc minus green chillies), do social networking or even social dating , CELEBRATE FESTIVALS in a cheerful manner, properly with anybody living around you
    5. ..... to be contd...
  • @The Wolf of Wall Street
    dost
    1. the thing you are searching is inside you (Believe me , i know it like anything) .you would not get `that `thing here, though you may get to interact with like minded or sympathisers or even rascals
    2. regarding "uncle" thing, show some Emotional intelligence ya
    3. Be flexible and humble , good things and people would be attracted to you
    4. suicide solution - list things which motivate you for a day or two - movies, drinks, go and meet strangers in pubs, sit alone in a park, talk about your feelings with any person who may listen to you calmly, go to book fairs, buy something for any street dog you may see (they love eggs with proper salt, onion etc minus green chillies), do social networking or even social dating , CELEBRATE FESTIVALS in a cheerful manner, properly with anybody living around you
    5. ..... to be contd...
    6. Pls do continue...

  • edited April 2017
    Yeezus. This and the blasted marriage market are probably the only places where people in late 20s and early 30s are considered senior and old.

    We have diploma engineers on site here in their 30s who are probably the most enthusiastic, knowledgeable and hardworking folks, inspite of a lower pay scale than us degree folks. Seeing them, I would rather have an officer who is a bit jaded, older and with work experience than a 23 yr old fresher.

    Agreed, age ≠ maturity or intelligence, but still to be depressed about ones age? What is it, a need to marry a younger girl, or the nice ones been taken and one being stuck with a proverbial hag? Or Sharmaji ka launda, getting it all by 25?
  • Yeezus. This and the blasted marriage market are probably the only places where people in late 20s and early 30s are considered senior and old.

    We have diploma engineers on site here in their 30s who are probably the most enthusiastic, knowledgeable and hardworking folks, inspite of a lower pay scale than us degree folks. Seeing them, I would rather have an officer who is a bit jaded, older and with work experience than a 23 yr old fresher.

    Agreed, age ≠ maturity or intelligence, but still to be depressed about ones age? What is it, a need to marry a younger girl, or the nice ones been taken and one being stuck with a proverbial hag? Or Sharmaji ka launda, getting it all by 25?
    not everyone is lucky enough to get it all by 25 :mrgreen:
  • Yeezus. This and the blasted marriage market are probably the only places where people in late 20s and early 30s are considered senior and old.

    We have diploma engineers on site here in their 30s who are probably the most enthusiastic, knowledgeable and hardworking folks, inspite of a lower pay scale than us degree folks. Seeing them, I would rather have an officer who is a bit jaded, older and with work experience than a 23 yr old fresher.

    Agreed, age ≠ maturity or intelligence, but still to be depressed about ones age? What is it, a need to marry a younger girl, or the nice ones been taken and one being stuck with a proverbial hag? Or Sharmaji ka launda, getting it all by 25?
    not everyone is lucky enough to get it all by 25 :mrgreen:
    Precisely. These are exceptions, not examples. How many toppers are like Tina Aunty? I would say Gaurav Agarwal is closer to the norm.
    OP Go read outliers by Malcolm Gladwell after the prelims, it will help put things in perspective.
  • If u hv a decent job.. y haven't u tied d knot already.. dowry ka chakkar hai kya..? Or r u hoping to marry a really pretty girl(conventionally) so that ur kids r only half like u.. jk :tongue:
    Don't die.. cheers
  • If u hv a decent job.. y haven't u tied d knot already.. dowry ka chakkar hai kya..? Or r u hoping to marry a really pretty girl(conventionally) so that ur kids r only half like u.. jk :tongue:
    Don't die.. cheers
    at this point i will have to thank GOD for all the bad work he done in my life for the 'whatever cause..think positive

    we lived in joint family and so saw a lots and lots of quarrel among family member this imparted me a kind of fear of marriage (pro tip: guys never ever think of joint family )... so i put all my focus on studies and carrier instied of love and relationship -- it have its own pros and cons.. pros : good carrier and study and all .. cons- not have any love in life

    so i postponed marrriage to the point its compulsory .. the right or wrong notion is that NOW i think with my age /my hairfall/people calling me uncle .. that i have become too old (UPSC is secondary at this point coz if even dont get sucess in that i will still be happy go lucky in all term (and yes all include equivalent to UPSC-way but minus the rutba and other$ factor infact i think it might be better then some of those -land and -lites )....this thing is strucking me now to change course to get married .. i never thought of marriage at 24,25,26,27,28,29.. when i cud had peacefully ..

    dowry i dont care .. i earn enough to feed me and my family (if any).. beauty i do care but perception of beaty deferes to many .. but the point is statistically more time is passed you are with fewer option .. plus there is age of marriage i beleive . .. and there is no reason conversoly to not to marry ..

    there is one thing about me i like .. i never in my life take some decesion just coz someone said it .. or i had gut feeling .. or my mood .. but based on empirical evidence after studying all pros and cons .. if pros outweight the cons the decision is yes ..

    and yes there is age factor when u r 30 .. my hariline seem depleted .. i feels more tensioned..eyes have lost those sparcle . time seem to passed more faster(there is theory that more u ages more fast time passes for you )... face seem loose .. girls/kids calls uncle .. aunty calls 'bhaishaheb'.. .. i can FEEL THE DOPLLER EFFECT OF DEATH COMING BY (wish it come soon)... i can shrug off my soldeir by saying age is just a number .. but yes i have deterioted a lot when compared with 24 year old me .. thanks to UPSC (yeah they didnt come to my door to force me to apply i volunteer ) life is still the same for me .. with jsut fact that i am much older, much knowledgeable


    question is why i am writing this .. because it can also be the scenario that my mind is playing games with me .,, my mind is very clever ... when it got to do something it present distorted fact to skew the decesion which involves less hardwork . . i counter this by always choosing the path requiring hard work , brain work .. but sometime situation seem more genuine.. also there cud be some underlying desease like depression , hyper tension gland malfunction .. etc

    people in this forum might not be in same position as of me and hence cud provide multi dimensional view of the situation .. i hate those -- follow your heart advice .. its more like guess work ..never rely on it .. decision should be taken on conclusive eveidence fact and swot analysis....

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