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Hi all. I hv been a silent spectator of this forum since last year when i left my job for pursuing this dream. merely reading views and experiences of people here made me never feel alone though i hv been preparing in isolation at home. In three attempts that i hv given, failed in pre in 1st( due to casual attitude that i won't be able to clear with job in the very first attempt anyways.) in second attempt last year, appeared for interview and hoped to get into some allied service and then reappear in 2016 (for IAS). but destiny completely changed on 4 july and i could not find my name in that pdf. somehow gathered my self to appear for prelims 2015 because that was the only way to get over with the 'shock'.(despite the fact that i had been totally out of touch of studies from January 2015)
but i din know that a greater shock was in waiting and it occurred to me on 12 oct , when i failed in prelims again!!!! Prelims is the toughest stage for me , i was so scared of it that despite having secured 226 last year i didnot study for 50 days and kept thinking i'll not clear. when i could not make into final list regretted that and told myself no matter what i'll start studying immediately after prelims. did dat this tym and guess what i am not writing mains!!!!
my mental peace is lost and somewhere i have lost myself, my beliefs about the world, about hardwork and most importantly about myself. i give up because i do not want to give pain to people who have a lot of expectations from me for my one wish. i am done.
it took a lot of courage to write this ...i am an introvert but somewhere felt connected to all the people who might be going through similar emotions.
please guide what should i do ?
i would say that take a week or two off to feel everything you want to feel and then think rationally about your abilities and decide. Getting ur beliefs shaken by failures is natural and happens to everyone. Its all part of growing up and it will hurt now but eventually you have to trust in urself and take ur own decisions. Forget about the expectations people have. It will only give u more stress. think about urself and what u want to do with ur time.
For all the young guys (less than 25) who couldn't make it to the mains , let me epitomise my story .... Since my college days , I always aspired to be an IAS . But having dropped an year for the preparation after 12th , getting placed in the 3rd itself and carrying some expectations at home to earn , I momentarily left the idea and worked in an IT firm.It has been 8 years there in which I spent 3 years at onsite , got my sister married , bought an house , got kicked by the love of my life ( I could never forget her ) . Now by Gods grace I got a chance to fulfill my dream and this time at the age of 31 , I cracked the prelims . I may miss out the train to the interview but I will try to give my best . So my younger brothers, if finance and responsibilities hampers your chances ,try couple of time , if failed then go get some job , work for few years ( not that much that I did ) and then come up with full vigour to rule the world. Don't loose heart and ATB guys
@n_rishi Do you still have attempts left. What are your plans.
yes. this was 3rd attempt and i am 23 now.... but no confidence...that sad thought that may be i am destined to be somewhere else creeps in..... sad becoz i want to be here only.
Hi all. I hv been a silent spectator of this forum since last year when i left my job for pursuing this dream. merely reading views and experiences of people here made me never feel alone though i hv been preparing in isolation at home. In three attempts that i hv given, failed in pre in 1st( due to casual attitude that i won't be able to clear with job in the very first attempt anyways.) in second attempt last year, appeared for interview and hoped to get into some allied service and then reappear in 2016 (for IAS). but destiny completely changed on 4 july and i could not find my name in that pdf. somehow gathered my self to appear for prelims 2015 because that was the only way to get over with the 'shock'.(despite the fact that i had been totally out of touch of studies from January 2015)
but i din know that a greater shock was in waiting and it occurred to me on 12 oct , when i failed in prelims again!!!! Prelims is the toughest stage for me , i was so scared of it that despite having secured 226 last year i didnot study for 50 days and kept thinking i'll not clear. when i could not make into final list regretted that and told myself no matter what i'll start studying immediately after prelims. did dat this tym and guess what i am not writing mains!!!!
my mental peace is lost and somewhere i have lost myself, my beliefs about the world, about hardwork and most importantly about myself. i give up because i do not want to give pain to people who have a lot of expectations from me for my one wish. i am done.
it took a lot of courage to write this ...i am an introvert but somewhere felt connected to all the people who might be going through similar emotions.
please guide what should i do ?
i would say that take a week or two off to feel everything you want to feel and then think rationally about your abilities and decide. Getting ur beliefs shaken by failures is natural and happens to everyone. Its all part of growing up and it will hurt now but eventually you have to trust in urself and take ur own decisions. Forget about the expectations people have. It will only give u more stress. think about urself and what u want to do with ur time.
this fits my case. when i thot it to be my best attempt with all the seriousness....it landed me in worst of my life!!!! its like you being tired already and someone taking the destination point farther away from you.....
@n_rishi Come on. You are just a kid compared to me. Dont lose heart. You are too young to be feeling that way. You should be brimming with enthusiasm. Dont worry. Keep preparing with more vigour. You will surely succeed. Take a break for few days. Spend time with family.
@n_rishi Come on. You are just a kid compared to me. Dont lose heart. You are too young to be feeling that way. You should be brimming with enthusiasm. Dont worry. Keep preparing with more vigour. You will surely succeed. Take a break for few days. Spend time with family.
But no job ...left the one i had in 2014. have SSC tier 2 but can't study. family very supportive but now i think its high time i start supporting them..thinking of taking up some lecturer job in a local college...is that a good idea..? .or should i move to delhi and try for an better job and work for sometime ... also i feel uncertain about the pattern of exam next year... i feel miserable for changing a few of my answers in the last ten minutes and that changed everything...five months back i was on cloud nine..thinking may be i'll reach the goal soon...and now it seems to far ...may be never...
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Umbridge: Potter has received very poor marks in all his tests with me.
McGonagall: I should have made my meaning plainer. He has achieved high marks in all Defense against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.
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