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Public Diary Of An IAS Aspirant....

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  • A beautiful red and grey bird has made a small nest outside my window. It has two beautifully colored eggs. Surrounded by lush green trees on all sides,sitting in a wooden cottage, its the best place to be.I've never experienced home life as closely as I'm doing all these months. If not a civil servant, I'd be a much more happier and sorted person compared to what I was when I started. That in itself is satisfying.

    Having said that, I also feel that this satisfaction should be a positive force. It should not make you complacent, distracted from your goal, looking for alternatives. Making you calm from the outside, It should not dilute the fire within. A fire that is an essential for massive success. Let that fire be a drive. Remember that we only get what we really desire.Complacency kills initiative and takes you two steps backward.
    Keep your eyes on your goal, journey would become much more easier and satisfying.
    Hw is it possible to be satisfied as well as keep the fire burning! The fire in itself shows u r striving for smthng which might satisfy u in the long run..
    yeah I know it sounds odd. But what happens with me is, I try to find happiness in the most simplistic things, as simple as spending time with my mother. And then I start to feel why am I even preparing for this exam when I can lead a happy and fulfilling life anyway. Each one of us have other career options I'm sure.
    Its in those moments it strikes me that its not about my happiness or my satisfaction alone.Its about the difference ill make to the lives of people if I get into services. Two years into the preparation, I cant find any other real motivation.That's how I try n keep the fire burning.

  • This turbulent mind knows no peace.
    This thirsty soul drinks from no pond.

    It's been so many hours trying to be with my pain and not attempt to escape.

    Still, could study only 6 pages.

    Shame!

    All the physical amenities mean nothing if there's no calm within.

    have some painkillers....













    and a bowl of ice cream...
  • This turbulent mind knows no peace.
    This thirsty soul drinks from no pond.

    It's been so many hours trying to be with my pain and not attempt to escape.

    Still, could study only 6 pages.

    Shame!

    All the physical amenities mean nothing if there's no calm within.

    have some painkillers....













    and a bowl of ice cream...
    :lol:
  • edited June 2017
    I stared at the computer screen for 2 hours on a job portal site, wondering what to fill in the "Special Skills" column. #TrueConfessions
  • I stared at the computer screen for 2 hours on a job portal site, wondering what to fill in the "Special Skills" column.
    skill of paying back debts?
  • I stared at the computer screen for 2 hours on a job portal site, wondering what to fill in the "Special Skills" column.
    skill of paying back debts?
    Sword fighting with left hand

  • I stared at the computer screen for 2 hours on a job portal site, wondering what to fill in the "Special Skills" column.
    skill of paying back debts?
    With that skill I can only be employed as a Banking Correspondent. :D
  • I stared at the computer screen for 2 hours on a job portal site, wondering what to fill in the "Special Skills" column.
    skill of paying back debts?
    With that skill I can only be employed as a Banking Correspondent. :D
    or the CMD of a steel company :\
  • I stared at the computer screen for 2 hours on a job portal site, wondering what to fill in the "Special Skills" column.
    skill of paying back debts?
    With that skill I can only be employed as a Banking Correspondent. :D
    hahaha :mrgreen:
  • I love the first two lines...

    once I had a heartbreak, and I stopped listening to romantic songs. Since the time I have been failing in career, I find it harder each passing day to listen to thoughtful songs - the ones that make u feel these are your own thoughts, and somewhere make u think about your deep intellect. Living in denial, I have found, makes things easier. No pain of not getting the value of your smartness and intelligence, as similar to no reciprocation of the immense love filled in a considerate heart, when you deny that you are even capable of aprreciating someone. I think Anwar has got it very right. The movie Anwar has a thought at the center of it's story. A thought of frustation at knowing that your heart is full of love, but there is no one whom you can shower with that love. Though very underrated, It's one of the best movies dealing with the subject of love. To deny that you have loved, and to deny that you can think and appreciate deep thoughts, and matters of soul, compassion, struggles, to be able to appreciate what others don't even notice - to deny all you have and to weave thoughtfully a wordly fabric that someone will probably use somewhere someday to fulfill a simple need. Just a simple life, and a simple death.

    I hope the heartbreak lady was only your Wunderbar or Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand.

    I hope you soon find your Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz. :)


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