Hi friends,
Ever since I quite my job to prepare for civils, relatives have become rather inquisitive regarding me. I have requested my parents not to tell them that I am preparing and say that I am continuing as before, but everytime they talk/meet them, they'll try to ask about me. Living outside of home has become expensive so that option isnt available. My parents arent willing to continue saying that I am still working but if they do tell them, even the days of results would become a nightmare as has been the case during my board exams as well as those of my siblings. So I do not want them to mention this. This has become a constant source of arguments among ourselves and adding to the uncertainty of the exam, it is a bane while at home.
It is always the best idea to ignore the naysayers but when they start influencing your only support system i. e. family and parents, life becomes a living hell.
What ways did u guys employ/are still employing to keep such nuisance at bay?
Feeling sad
Comments
It takes time for parents to know about the nature of exam, once they understand, things will go smoothly. Communication to parents is necessary.
Relatives should not matter, it is easy to say but it is the only solution, ignore them.
beware of them...prep in secrecy..
Things which I did which turned out okay for me where I stay in my room and have told my parents to tell my relatives that I am doing Post Graduation. If you want you can say you are working from home to your relatives. I spend most of the time in a library itself. I know moving out will be definitely expensive. SO i would not suggest you to do that.
I feel bad not only about those 'missing years' but action that i have taken out from their lives too.
About the relatives and parents part. It is totally true. They support you but at the same time don't support you. Unless your own parents have tried and failed in exams, they really don't get it. Even if they want to.
Just like we get desperate and criticise ourselves, they have someone to put all the critical judgements and who said what to them, who is doing what. (3,4,5 years is a good deal of time for anyone to make progress and hence the pressure keeps mounting on you and your parents when they see everyone else, even your younger siblings, juniors moving ahead)
Best way out is to start working. Even if it means a teaching job at school, kill your ego and start. That ways atleast you will get experience and later you can do mba.
Or join a library and give other comepetitive exams too.And keep shifting focus, do not spend time crying over. Rbi form will be out soon, uppcs too. You can write those. Give fixed 5-6 hours to upsc and the rest to others if you want to finish upsc mains syllabus alongwith.
Ignoring relatives and their judgements, the spill effect of reactions from parents after a certain time ie 3 years and above becomes a burden. Its not easy to ignore, learn to become head strong and focus on why you are (if you are) going to give the next attempt.
There is really no way out, except to not waste this year if you wish to take another attempt. Make your plan and stick to it.
Waking up to a planned day and week ahead keeps you away from distractions and makes you more confident. Also try to cultivate hobbies, otherwise you will find the same syllabus and books borinng.
Take it slowly and steadily , study with a relaxed mindset. Worrying can not help, only and only working, studying, moving forward will help.
tumhara bhi optional philo hai kya