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Please evaluate 2 Essays and Give suggestions. Then post your own!

edited September 2015 in Essay
hi ...feel free to leave a feedback...will really help..

ROLE OF FILMS IN PROMOTION OF FREEDOM STRUGGLE (300 words)

INTRO-
-video filming became possible in 1890s
-they were without sound.
-our freedom struggle had already started before filming became possible
-due to very strict british policy.films on freedom struggle were not possible for a long time.
-countless films have been made about our freedom struggle since independence.

description-
-films have always been an effective means of mass media
-reach all age groups and all social groups(rich, poor,educated ,uneducated)
-captures emotions related with the struggle that other sources may not do very well.
-one film projection can be viewed by hundreds of people at the same time at one place( cinema theatres).
-enormous detailing can be done within a matter of few minutes.

But
-films may not be factually correct.
-one film can cover only a small part of such a large freedom struggle
-most films are character centric....contribution of many great leaders are left out.
-with increasing commercialising,many films are propagating only the popular leaders and the popular events..

conclusion-
films are good means to promote freedom struggle but not the most optimum and other sources have to be used as much as films.
other sources are various forms of print media...
·

Comments

  • hi ...feel free to leave a feedback...will really help..

    ROLE OF FILMS IN PROMOTION OF FREEDOM STRUGGLE (300 words)

    INTRO-
    -video filming became possible in 1890s
    -they were without sound.
    -our freedom struggle had already started before filming became possible
    -due to very strict british policy.films on freedom struggle were not possible for a long time.
    -countless films have been made about our freedom struggle since independence.

    description-
    -films have always been an effective means of mass media
    -reach all age groups and all social groups(rich, poor,educated ,uneducated)
    -captures emotions related with the struggle that other sources may not do very well.
    -one film projection can be viewed by hundreds of people at the same time at one place( cinema theatres).
    -enormous detailing can be done within a matter of few minutes.

    But
    -films may not be factually correct.
    -one film can cover only a small part of such a large freedom struggle
    -most films are character centric....contribution of many great leaders are left out.
    -with increasing commercialising,many films are propagating only the popular leaders and the popular events..

    conclusion-
    films are good means to promote freedom struggle but not the most optimum and other sources have to be used as much as films.
    other sources are various forms of print media...
    You can also mention that promotion through films is highly relevant for India due to high illiteracy and low enthusiasm for the study of humanities-subjects.

    A suggestion:
    In essay, most of us write similar facts and arguments. It is the presentation that we really differ in.
    So if you want any real feedback, you should post complete essay and not just framework of it.
    “The starting point of all achievement is DESIRE. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small fire makes a small amount of heat.”
    ― Napoleon Hill
    ·
  • Here is the full essay-
    Videography became possible in the 1890s , and the films produced at that time contained only visuals and no audio. The length of the films were no longer than a few minutes in the starting days. Our freedom struggle had already gathered pace by the end of the nineteenth century as the first war of independence took place in 1857.Since the british authorities had a very strict censorship policy against all forms of media that portrayed the reality of the british rule, films with authentic content about the british rule were not able to surface before independence. However, after 1947, an overwhelming number of films were made and popularised shedding light on the plight of the indian masses under the british rule and the glorious freedom struggle by our heroes.

    Films have always been a very effective means of mass media as they can reach out to a wide range of demography. Such audio visual content can be comprehended by all social groups may it be children, adults, the wealthy or the marginalised groups. Moreover, Films can capture the emotions and moods of the characters and the situation in a very effective manner. within a matter of few minutes, enormous details of a situation are presented with the contributions of multiple characters and scenes .The number of people who are engaged in one presentation of a film is often more than what any other means of media can achieve, for example, in a cinema hall, 400 to 500 people are engaged with a single projection of the film.

    There are some drawbacks of propagating the freedom struggle through films as well. Since most films are made for commercial purposes, some amount of factual distortion is present so as to attract a larger viewership and at the same time trying not to offend any one. A single film has limitation on the temporal and spatial coverage possible of the events. Thus they can only depict a small geographical region and isolated events. Moreover, Films are generally character centric. With these constraints, many important leaders and their valuable contribution is left out thus presenting an incomplete picture of the Indian freedom struggle.

    In conclusion, films are good means to promote freedom struggle but not the most optimum and other sources have to be used as much as films.other sources being various forms of print media...
    ·
  • @kgips dekho dost essay me content toh important hai hi but how start ur essay introduction-body-conclusion format of ur essay...intro generally 2para ka hona chahiye..uske baad jo body hai uske har para me interlinking hona chahiye in order to maintain flow...conclusion generally 4 se 5 para ka hona chahiye...intro nd conclusion should be catchy...ye sab tabhi assess ho paaega jab tum pura essay inn format me likho...nd try to get it checked from some authentic source...yaha pe toh tum time waste kar rahe ho...
    ·
  • You started with the main content right away, u should write an introduction paragraph first.. 300 words is too less for an essay, take it upto 1000 atleast, then only we would be able to give true analysis .
    ·
  • I am guessing you are preparing for Capf.
    1. Get it checked from some reliable person, a senior or a teacher.
    2. Points are a bit disconnected from each other.
    3. Short essays will need more work as you have to put your point across in less words.
    4. Have a point to put across, and do it in the first paragraph itself.

    That is all that I have to say for your essay. Rest I reiterate to show it to someone you know who is well experience.
    All the best.
    May the Force be with you
    ·
  • yaar thoda coherence rakkho .. :)
    ·
  • let us discuss this essay- its actually relevant for us.
    Is the growing level of competition good for youth..(1200 words)
    ·
  • The first paragraph does not seem like an introduction :(
    ·
  • ROLE OF FILMS IN PROMOTION OF FREEDOM STRUGGLE<<Not writing in 300 Words though>>

    Mera intro:

    "The Depiction in celluloid is just a embodiment of the real life"--Satyajit Ray

    The cinema is not a 70mm screen depicting a story, it is a place where ideas coalescence, boundaries disappear and people see the "not so evident" in an evident way. The transformation of reel life into real life is only possible through a narrative medium like cinema. As a relatively new form of art, cinema has traveled a long way from being interpreted as a "Idiosyncratic" to "Mirror of Society". Thus cinema plays a very important in role in expressing the pains, problems, history, joys and achievement of a society. Martin Scorcese, the Academy award director once quoted, the quality of cinema often depicts the quality of thinking in a society.Cinema in India, may thus be considered to have traveled a long distance from having a humble beginning to be considered the Goliath in comparison to World Cinema. The flavor of Indian Cinema is not bound in the glitzy bollywood, it traverses distances and covers many regional epilogues, each capable of being termed as equally important chapter of a vibrant industry. One of the most important chapters of modern India, is the freedom struggle which have not only filled our imagination with romanticism but will act as a source of inspiration and sacrifice for many generations to come. Needless to say, Cinema would be an apt medium to depict the struggle, that shaped our values and virtues and went a long way to teach a world an alternate method of fighting a hegemonic rule with all odds stacked against it.

    Points i would mention:

    1. The journey from mother India to Rang de Basanti: A visual treat
    2. Cinema and its popularity in youth
    3. Arm twisting with the past: a path to be avoided
    4. Freedom struggle: Not just a fight but a social reconstruction
    5. Role of government and film makers
    6. The future ahead: Ideals die, ideas don't

    Please comment..Thanks
    ·
  • PURUSH said:

    The first paragraph does not seem like an introduction :(

    correct.
    ·
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