Hello friends i joined this forum today only though i have been a visitor for about 2 years but i found all answers in the dicussions, Never needed any thing specific.
Today i joined because wanted some help very bad. I am a victim of repeated childhood sexual abuse by my elder brother. I was between 3-12 years at that time i dint know. later my brother said all boys do it. i dint question him as he is about 8 years older to me and he stopped when i became 14 he was around 22-23. Through out he used it as a tool to blackmail me into doing things. He recently got married and even though i just hinted it to his wife she thought it was a prank. I should i have been more clear.
i have been preparing since october 2012. cleared the mains 2014 nt qualified for interview. My brother stays with his wife in Delhi and my parents are institing that now i go to Delhi to prepare as it better city to prepare. But i do not want to go as i am still hanunted of what my brother did and there is no way i can live in the same house with my rapist, if i can call him so even though as a child i never stopped him.
I have often confronted him and he laughs saying you are such a girl. I think even if i was a girl he dint have the right to sexually abuse me. Tried telling my parents but they wont listen anything against there sanskari beta who is a Financial Analysist and equal to Obama according to them in status.
. Since i am from Gorakhpur i can take a room in Lucknow/Allahabad and tell my parents that i am in Delhi.
I request some kind souls to tell me some online coachings that i can refer to. Are test series necessary? Any other websites that i can refer to. It is very difficut for me to concentrate with haunting images of my brother and his friends. while they are all settled in life with big cars and good salaries i am still struggling. Please help i really want to clear this time and get posted some where far away maybe south or NE.
Any other resources will be helpful too..
Please help. By the way i am just a simple mechanical engineer from a not so great government college. You can even message if you want.
[Mod note: You are not alone. Best of luck. Seek help. It worked for me.]
Comments
Today i joined because wanted some help very bad. I am a victim of repeated childhood sexual abuse by my elder brother. I was between 3-12 years at that time i dint know. later my brother said all boys do it. i dint question him as he is about 8 years older to me and he stopped when i became 14 he was around 22-23. Through out he used it as a tool to blackmail me into doing things. He recently got married and even though i just hinted it to his wife she thought it was a prank. I should i have been more clear.
i have been preparing since october 2012. cleared the mains 2014 nt qualified for interview. My brother stays with his wife in Delhi and my parents are institing that now i go to Delhi to prepare as it better city to prepare. But i do not want to go as i am still hanunted of what my brother did and there is no way i can live in the same house with my rapist, if i can call him so even though as a child i never stopped him.
I have often confronted him and he laughs saying you are such a girl. I think even if i was a girl he dint have the right to sexually abuse me. Tried telling my parents but they wont listen anything against there sanskari beta who is a Financial Analysist and equal to Obama according to them in status.
. Since i am from Gorakhpur i can take a room in Lucknow/Allahabad and tell my parents that i am in Delhi.
I request some kind souls to tell me some online coachings that i can refer to. Are test series necessary? Any other websites that i can refer to. It is very difficut for me to concentrate with haunting images of my brother and his friends. while they are all settled in life with big cars and good salaries i am still struggling. Please help i really want to clear this time and get posted some where far away maybe south or NE.
Any other resources will be helpful too..
Please help. By the way i am just a simple mechanical engineer from a not so great government college. You can even message if you want.
pls provide a summary of it.
I have old Vision's Material. And rest i use internet but bahut zyada material milta hai. difficult to chose.
But seriously try recording his confession even the lines 'You are such a girl' to your complaining to him about the abuse will get him for good. Even if you can't do that you need to file an FIR POCSO will take care of him. As you say he was 22-23 when he stopped so no case of him being a juvenile and walking scot free.
Deal with it legally and make sure he pays(again within the law).
And if you can't even stand up for yourself you are a good for nothing piece of trash unsuitable for UPSC.
As for coaching notes only things of some use are vajji hand written notes of economics polity, Shankar notes on environment. rest basic books old ncerts of history, geog dd basu and current affairs either Indian express or the hindu. 2nd arc report and punchi commission report are good 4 mains. You'll need basic magazines like yojana kuru, and one for current affairs wizard/cst only a few issues of both are good. Internet should be used to study some of the things in news like BRICS bank AIIB asean, rdf etc.
There are specific threads, for test series queries( as you already know )
By the way, I pity the IPS lady.!!!
i hv heard a same case earlier...... cn understand ... but i think kisi ki help se like there r NGOs which r helping the innocents, u could get justice ......... it is bitter but true that in our country many victims donot gets justice w/o any influential backend........
see vaji current material and sriram current +economy material u will find at ORN..........
if u tk the shopkeeper's card u cn order it to up also by paying thr dd..
do read all ncerts relevant ... forumias, mrunal, gktoday, iasexamportal,downtoearth, adr ,prsindia.org... etc cn be of much help..