MAINS 2018 QUESTION PAPER Download the Mains 2018 Question Papers by clicking here. Papers Uploaded : Essay 2018 | GS 1 | GS 2 | GS 3 | GS 4
Mains Guidance Program, 2019 | Commences 28th October 2018 | Admissions Open

Admissions for the Mains Guidance Program 2019 are open, commencing from October 28, 2018. Optional of taking up MGP or MGP+ , which includes Essay. Visit http://academy.forumias.com to know more.

Jaipur woman IRS officer commits suicide over marital discord

edited August 8 in Miscellaneous
https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/jaipur-woman-irs-officer-commits-suicide-over-marital-discord-1309034-2018-08-08

People at the top aren't even immune from depression. It's sad that many aspirants think they will find eternal happiness after getting into the services.
«13

Comments

  • चिंता का विषय हैं ये ? मेरे समेत पूरा मंत्रिमंडल इस घटना पर खेद व्यक्त करते हैं :( ऐसा नहीं होना चाहिए था ! कामकाजी महिलाओं को ऐसे मामलों में थोड़ा सचेत होना चाहिए ? :'(
    image
  • :( :'(
    Jitne se bhi jyada jaruri hai Ladna

  • edited August 9
    Men, especially young men, are losing maturity and magnanimity left and right.
    Wait, let me correct myself. Most young men don't have maturity, empathy and magnanimity these days. At all. Inflated ego is commonplace and it lead to a fragile psyche.
    Young married men want to look and sound modern but want their wives to behave as if the couple is living in 18th century.

    May your soul rest in peace madam @Binny Sharma. :disappointed:
    Hibernating for one month... Sweet autumn... Guardians of the Galaxy will be back... ;)
  • Men, especially young men, are losing maturity and magnanimity left and right.
    Wait, let me correct myself. Most young men don't have maturity, empathy and magnanimity these days. At all. Inflated ego is commonplace and it lead to a fragile psyche.
    Young married men want to look and sound modern but want their wives to behave as if the couple is living in 18th century.

    May your soul rest in peace madam @Binny Sharma. :disappointed:

    Happens due to lack of dating culture in India, especially among those born before the 90s. When you don't know your partner thoroughly before marriage, the likelihood of an unhappy marriage is far far higher. Before, women were debarred from living financially independent lives so they accepted the subordination, but now that they are career women, marital disharmony is much more unacceptable and depressive for them.
    There is no you, there is only the Force.
  • its common nowadays.
  • Sad :'(. Every life is precious.
    Career toh kaise bhi insaan sambhal le, ye marital issues toh aksar jaan hein le leti. Jindgi mein toh shadi ki iccha hein khatam si ho gayi hai. :/. Single life is a bliss.
  • Men, especially young men, are losing maturity and magnanimity left and right.
    Wait, let me correct myself. Most young men don't have maturity, empathy and magnanimity these days. At all. Inflated ego is commonplace and it lead to a fragile psyche.
    Young married men want to look and sound modern but want their wives to behave as if the couple is living in 18th century.

    May your soul rest in peace madam @Binny Sharma. :disappointed:

    Happens due to lack of dating culture in India, especially among those born before the 90s. When you don't know your partner thoroughly before marriage, the likelihood of an unhappy marriage is far far higher. Before, women were debarred from living financially independent lives so they accepted the subordination, but now that they are career women, marital disharmony is much more unacceptable and depressive for them.
    True.
    Anissia Batra recently met the same fate... :disappointed:
    Hibernating for one month... Sweet autumn... Guardians of the Galaxy will be back... ;)
  • edited August 9
    Arey bhaiyya kya Hua

    Last year Bihar cadre IAS officer Mukesh pandey ne bhi apni beewi as tang aake Suicide kar liya tha

    Men Ko Faaltu gaali mat do. Women bhi equally doshi hoti hai. Koi Sati Saavitri nahi hoti..


  • Men, especially young men, are losing maturity and magnanimity left and right.
    Wait, let me correct myself. Most young men don't have maturity, empathy and magnanimity these days. At all. Inflated ego is commonplace and it lead to a fragile psyche.
    Young married men want to look and sound modern but want their wives to behave as if the couple is living in 18th century.

    May your soul rest in peace madam @Binny Sharma. :disappointed:

    Happens due to lack of dating culture in India, especially among those born before the 90s. When you don't know your partner thoroughly before marriage, the likelihood of an unhappy marriage is far far higher. Before, women were debarred from living financially independent lives so they accepted the subordination, but now that they are career women, marital disharmony is much more unacceptable and depressive for them.
    https://www.pinkcitypost.com/irs-suicide-case-binnys-husband-gives-funeral-a-slip/
    Jaipur: Soon after Binny Sharma – an IRS officer and Deputy Commissioner of GST wing – committed suicide on Monday at Mahalekhakar colony of Bajaj Nagar in the city, police informed her husband, Gurpreet Walia, who is an IAAS (Indian Audit and Accounts Service) officer posted in Chandigarh.

    After receiving the call, he allegedly mentioned that he would arrive in Jaipur by Tuesday morning but he didn’t attend the funeral. His phone was also found switched off, according to media reports. Binny Sharma’s children constantly screamed to see their mother, but the family members did not take them to her body. In the suicide note revealed by police, Binny accused her husband and mother-in-law of harassment. Binny’s funeral was performed without her husband.

    IRS Binny Sharma was living in government quarters with her two children named Chahat, 8 years old, Mukund, 17 months old and mother-in-law in Bajaj Nagar. After the incident on Tuesday morning, Chahat started screaming demanding to see her mother.



    He was constantly screaming for her mother but the family members told him that her mother was sick and resting in the bedroom. They took him to the garden. He threatened to jump from the garden wall and was continuously asking to go to her mother. Meanwhile, he was going to every family member and complaining why he was not being allowed to see his mom. He kept asking questions about her.

    Everybody who was there shed tears after seeing Chahat’s condition. 17-month-old Mukund doesn’t even know the meaning of death and life and was also crying to go to his mom as per the neighbors.

    Binny’s Suicide note.

    IRS Binny Sharma wrote a suicide note before hanging from the ceiling fan on Monday. She scribbled 5-6 lines on it saying that she was ending her life as she was fed up with her husband and mother in law. They were harassing her for the last nine years, now she was unable to bear the pressure and hence leaving the world, she stated.

    As per relatives, Binny met Gurpreet during her training period in 2009 and they tied the knot in 2010. Gurpreet was posted in Jaipur about three years ago but he was later transferred to Chandigarh. Binny used to consume depression pills too.

    Several revenue department officials visited IRS Binny’s house in Bajajnagar.
  • Men and Women both need to understand marriage isnt the solution of problems and definitely not worth ending life for , It is easier said then done but sometimes u need to move on,life is not worth ending and here IRS officer imo was selfish end ur life but never bothered about ur children?
  • it is easy to judge her personality and call her action selfish but none of us can even remotely understand the mental trauma she might have been going thru. Show some kindness for the dead atleast. Nobody wants to end his/her life until the pain becomes unbearable.

    stars cant shine without darkness :)
  • edited August 9
    GIRLS ,dont marry a mamma's boy if u do u are bound to suffer at the hands of MIL. kindly date and undertsnd the guy. mamma's boys are generally fattus.
  • Marital discords usually happens when you have certain preconceived expectations either from your partner or family and after the marriage same get destroyed when you get to know about the 'real' one of your loved ones.
  • edited August 9
    time.. times
  • edited August 9

    Arey bhaiyya kya Hua

    Last year Bihar cadre IAS officer Mukesh pandey ne bhi apni beewi as tang aake Suicide kar liya tha

    Men Ko Faaltu gaali mat do. Women bhi equally doshi hoti hai. Koi Sati Saavitri nahi hoti..


    Men have systemic power in patriarchy, more so in Indian society where patriarchal structures are deeply ingrained. So while there are incidences of men being traumatized by their wife, the reverse is far far more common. It's like when you say 'Black Lives Matter' suddenly a guy with a red cap starts yelling 'All Lives Matter'.
    There is no you, there is only the Force.
  • There might be another perspective as people choosing their partner solely based on economic aspect(may be bcz of rise in conspicuous consumtion) ....ignoring emotional,attitudnal ,cultural etc aspect of one's socialization....Happy Marriage is something hard to find
  • edited August 9
    Nirwana said:

    There might be another perspective as people choosing their partner solely based on economic aspect(may be bcz of rise in conspicuous consumtion) ....ignoring emotional,attitudnal ,cultural etc aspect of one's socialization....Happy Marriage is something hard to find

    Salman Khan's life is fantastic in this sense.... I admire him very much. I don't follow the social media hatred for Salman khan... Rather He is a very nice person. He is just awesome. And belive me, his life is extremely fantastic.
  • Arey bhaiyya kya Hua

    Last year Bihar cadre IAS officer Mukesh pandey ne bhi apni beewi as tang aake Suicide kar liya tha

    Men Ko Faaltu gaali mat do. Women bhi equally doshi hoti hai. Koi Sati Saavitri nahi hoti..


    Men have systemic power in patriarchy, more so in Indian society where patriarchal structures are deeply ingrained. So while there are incidences of men being traumatized by their wife, the reverse is far far more common. It's like when you say 'Black Lives Matter' suddenly a guy with a red cap starts yelling 'All Lives Matter'.
    Feminism in its nouveau system deals only with financial independence. And it is even in feminist societies. The truth is, economic social and political independence together form a whole. This whole shitshow of financial independence is actually nothing but a ploy to mobilize even more cheap labour. If financial independence would have resulted in gender equality, UK won't be ranking in the top 10 of acid attacks, femme fatale of bollywood wouldn't have to sleep with some noxious kind to land a role and in Sweden, the number of women Ceos won't be so less and workplace harassment won't be so high.

    Patriarchy is a truth. But Systemic Exploitation by the "Powerful" is even more a truth. That's the "Episteme"
    X
  • Life is all about problems. It's full of knots. The ones who thrive, and win, and die with no regrets, are the real heroes. Heroes aren't found in books and degrees. To be a hero, is to be the greatest player of the greatest adventure you might have imagined. This tick tick tick of the clock and this thump thump thump of the heart won't last. Don't waste it catering what other people think bout you. Do your duties, and follow your will. A whole lot of indoctrination, that is ahem, education, can't make you wise. Observe, learn and introspect.

    "Nothing is True"
    X
  • Nirwana said:

    There might be another perspective as people choosing their partner solely based on economic aspect(may be bcz of rise in conspicuous consumtion) ....ignoring emotional,attitudnal ,cultural etc aspect of one's socialization....Happy Marriage is something hard to find

    +1
    just substitute hard with impossible.
    stars cant shine without darkness :)
  • Life is all about problems. It's full of knots. The ones who thrive, and win, and die with no regrets, are the real heroes. Heroes aren't found in books and degrees. To be a hero, is to be the greatest player of the greatest adventure you might have imagined. This tick tick tick of the clock and this thump thump thump of the heart won't last. Don't waste it catering what other people think bout you. Do your duties, and follow your will. A whole lot of indoctrination, that is ahem, education, can't make you wise. Observe, learn and introspect.

    "Nothing is True"

    Though I agree with this viewpoint....yet I believe marriage , girl /boy - friend, sex, fighting couple, love, etc are subjective matters... Everyone has their own perspective , and it's hard to say them objective. one should decide or, should be left to decide,on this matter by them ....
    Advising w/o asking generally has negetive impact in future, when one in difficult situation will transfer all or most of the blame to the past adviser :smile:

    PS: I am not advocating suicide
  • edited August 10
    Nirwana said:

    There might be another perspective as people choosing their partner solely based on economic aspect(may be bcz of rise in conspicuous consumtion) ....ignoring emotional,attitudnal ,cultural etc aspect of one's socialization....Happy Marriage is something hard to find

    If anyone can then please define happy that too happy marriage....




  • Nirwana said:

    There might be another perspective as people choosing their partner solely based on economic aspect(may be bcz of rise in conspicuous consumtion) ....ignoring emotional,attitudnal ,cultural etc aspect of one's socialization....Happy Marriage is something hard to find

    I was going through this thread and I must say some of the comments here are really enlightening.
    After reading this comment I couldn't keep myself from commenting as I'm myself happily married. And I mean 'happily' in every sense of the word. Both me and my misses, are employed in govt. sector in reputed Cat-2 posts. We married without a speck of dowry and we made sure to share the marriage expenses 50-50 between our families.
    Happy marriages do exist. Most of my married batchmates are happily married. It usually takes understanding, caring attitude and empathy to keep a marriage happy. Especially on part of the husband.

    And let me share three golden rules for happy marriage on a public platform.
    * Allow your partner to take decisions. Even for yourself. Don't poke your nose and give opinions on every little thing and try playing "man of the house" idiom.
    * Be appreciative of her efforts and praise them freely.
    * And please don't take dowry. In dowry, you trade your lifetime respect and honour for few lakhs worth of stuff. Earn respect instead of claiming it.

    You guys can thank me after getting yourself in a happy marriage. :smile:
  • @yearbook I think that happiness lies within one's perception......a labourer may be living happily on low wages than an IAS officer/minister
    It all boils down to what you want from life and if you will get it or not. Happy marriage is a reality not a mirage/illusion.
    And FYI happy marriage also depends on your fate/destiny whether you will be able to get partner of your choice and who can meet your expectations :wink:
  • the biggest problem is sexual and emotional compatibility.its becoming rare because all men/women have multiple partners.
  • edited August 10
    sss123 said:

    @yearbook I think that happiness lies within one's perception......a labourer may be living happily on low wages than an IAS officer/minister
    It all boils down to what you want from life and if you will get it or not. Happy marriage is a reality not a mirage/illusion.
    And FYI happy marriage also depends on your fate/destiny whether you will be able to get partner of your choice and who can meet your expectations :wink:

    Isn't the line... One who put in effort to understand you more... More than yesterday.... and actually and genuinely does this......is Better than expectations....
  • yearbook said:

    sss123 said:

    @yearbook I think that happiness lies within one's perception......a labourer may be living happily on low wages than an IAS officer/minister
    It all boils down to what you want from life and if you will get it or not. Happy marriage is a reality not a mirage/illusion.
    And FYI happy marriage also depends on your fate/destiny whether you will be able to get partner of your choice and who can meet your expectations :wink:

    Isn't the line... One who put in effort to understand you more... More than yesterday.... Better than expectations....
    Yup, you can try your best to understand someone but human brain is more complex than anything ever discovered, so can't say if anyone will reciprocate in the same way
  • the biggest problem is sexual and emotional compatibility.its becoming rare because all men/women have multiple partners.

    Sir.....Emotional compatibility graph has positive slope.....
    Sexual compatibility may have zero or negetive slope....
    Correct me if I am wrong
  • edited August 10
    sss123 said:

    yearbook said:

    sss123 said:

    @yearbook I think that happiness lies within one's perception......a labourer may be living happily on low wages than an IAS officer/minister
    It all boils down to what you want from life and if you will get it or not. Happy marriage is a reality not a mirage/illusion.
    And FYI happy marriage also depends on your fate/destiny whether you will be able to get partner of your choice and who can meet your expectations :wink:

    Isn't the line... One who put in effort to understand you more... More than yesterday.... Better than expectations....
    Yup, you can try your best to understand someone but human brain is more complex than anything ever discovered, so can't say if anyone will reciprocate in the same way
    I am not stating understanding fully.... But improving daily..... it happens naturally....if one really loves.... if one truly Loves a person....many other things falls in place by not much effort..... Here love should be 2 sided....
    Isn't it ?
Sign In or Join to comment.

Welcome!

We are a secret self-moderated community for Civil Services preparation. Feel free to join, start a discussion, answer a question or just to say Thank you.

Just dont spread the word ;)

Sign in or join with Facebook or Google

Subscribe to ForumIAS Blog