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How not to feel Inferior ?

My parents, when they see kids around me in age of 21-27 getting succeeded to big heights in life by getting selected in upsc, IIT and various other exams or getting placed in big jobs or settled well feel sorry for me or look down on me with pity and little anger. I tried my best in past 5 years but couldn't achieve anything and wasn't employed ever.

This gives me a very sad state of feeling which I keep trying to slough off and keep working like currently I am looking for any job possible.

But at the end of the day, I feel like a inferior creature or trash who couldn't live upto their expectations. How can I deal with this thing properly ?

I tried talking and explaining things to them many times but that didn't worked well for more than 24 hours.
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Comments

  • some wars are not fought with words. become tough mentally and stay away from negative vibes. easier said than done. but with time you learn to dismiss their mockery. society will always find an excuse to demean you. that's the sad truth. doesn't matter if you're from a premier institute or not. people are not satisfied even after attaining success. success doesn't improve one's self esteem. on the other hand it might make one haughty. be thankful for your life and strive hard. throw such negative thoughts in the bin. atb
    An act of stealth, a silent coup d'état
  • Don't harbor any regrets. Move on. You have nothing to ashamed of. You did not indulge in any un ethical or illegal activity.

    Seek counselling if you want.
  • Mitthu said:

    My parents, when they see kids around me in age of 21-27 getting succeeded to big heights in life by getting selected in upsc, IIT and various other exams or getting placed in big jobs or settled well feel sorry for me or look down on me with pity and little anger. I tried my best in past 5 years but couldn't achieve anything and wasn't employed ever.

    This gives me a very sad state of feeling which I keep trying to slough off and keep working like currently I am looking for any job possible.

    But at the end of the day, I feel like a inferior creature or trash who couldn't live upto their expectations. How can I deal with this thing properly ?

    I tried talking and explaining things to them many times but that didn't worked well for more than 24 hours.

    See your inbox.
    ecosia.org
  • ann said:

    some wars are not fought with words. become tough mentally and stay away from negative vibes. easier said than done. but with time you learn to dismiss their mockery. society will always find an excuse to demean you. that's the sad truth. doesn't matter if you're from a premier institute or not. people are not satisfied even after attaining success. success doesn't improve one's self esteem. on the other hand it might make one haughty. be thankful for your life and strive hard. throw such negative thoughts in the bin. atb

    Whoa such deep words, ‘success doesn't improve one's self esteem. on the other hand it might make one haughty’ ... this is so true. Self esteem is big concept and people generally think achieving something will inprove my worth but it doesn’t happen actually. Taking a screenshot of your comment, thanks @ann
  • Mitthu said:

    My parents, when they see kids around me in age of 21-27 getting succeeded to big heights in life by getting selected in upsc, IIT and various other exams or getting placed in big jobs or settled well feel sorry for me or look down on me with pity and little anger. I tried my best in past 5 years but couldn't achieve anything and wasn't employed ever.

    This gives me a very sad state of feeling which I keep trying to slough off and keep working like currently I am looking for any job possible.

    But at the end of the day, I feel like a inferior creature or trash who couldn't live upto their expectations. How can I deal with this thing properly ?

    I tried talking and explaining things to them many times but that didn't worked well for more than 24 hours.

    Get engaged in co-curricular activities of ur intrst (professionally in spirit)..see ur carrier/future in that domain..thn u wont feel inferior..
    T ↑ [0→1] = T ↓ [1→infinity]
  • Indulge in hobbies and now as 5 years have passed, choose a job which satisfies you for rest of life.
    Or else you will hate each day of life like you do now..
    Example.. Let's say you like collecting coins, then open a pawn shop.
    Farming.. Then do organic farming.

    25000 kamao ya 25 crore : ultimately you have to love your job. Satisfaction is better than false achievement.
  • Same situation. 5 yrs. Never employed. But different mental situation. Bcz i blv


    1. Parents have given me birth so its their legal, social, political, economic and ethical duty to sustain me and help me. No shame No regret in that.

    2. I am Voluntary unemployed not just unemployed.

    3. I have not become a criminal in last 5 yrs. I merely not succeeded in an exam which is one of the most toughest exams of the world.

    4. I have tried my best. But still I know there are various lacunas so I will identify and rectify those and try again.

    5. My TRUE worth is not my clearing or non clearing one exam but my own existence in this world.

    6. I may be little tired. But I am not retired.

    7. Baapu Bank of India paisa deta h so unka haq h ki interest k roop m kbhi kbhi thoda bhut suna de to bhi its ok. As they say "Maa-Pyaa di gaalaan ghee diyaa naalaa" (taunts/abuses of parents are like the streams of ghee/butter..makes us better and more valuable in life)

    8. I am trying. I will try better. I will keep trying. Relatives or society ko tension h to apne bche kamyab or caring bna le bss meharbani unki.

    9. #HumHongeKamyaabEkDin :)

    10. Pre aa gya h so #Focus_On_Essentials_Only :)


    Jai Hind.
    Being IAS... 4 U Onlyyy... :-)


    " Woods are lovely dark and deep..
    But I have promises to keep..
    But I have promises to keep..
    And miles to go before I sleep.. before I sleep. " :)

    #HumHongeKamyaabEkDin :)
  • Same situation. 5 yrs. Never employed. But different mental situation. Bcz i blv


    1. Parents have given me birth so its their legal, social, political, economic and ethical duty to sustain me and help me. No shame No regret in that.

    2. I am Voluntary unemployed not just unemployed.

    3. I have not become a criminal in last 5 yrs. I merely not succeeded in an exam which is one of the most toughest exams of the world.

    4. I have tried my best. But still I know there are various lacunas so I will identify and rectify those and try again.

    5. My TRUE worth is not my clearing or non clearing one exam but my own existence in this world.

    6. I may be little tired. But I am not retired.

    7. Baapu Bank of India paisa deta h so unka haq h ki interest k roop m kbhi kbhi thoda bhut suna de to bhi its ok. As they say "Maa-Pyaa di gaalaan ghee diyaa naalaa" (taunts/abuses of parents are like the streams of ghee/butter..makes us better and more valuable in life)

    8. I am trying. I will try better. I will keep trying. Relatives or society ko tension h to apne bche kamyab or caring bna le bss meharbani unki.

    9. #HumHongeKamyaabEkDin :)

    10. Pre aa gya h so #Focus_On_Essentials_Only :)


    Jai Hind.

    +1

    and point 8 is the most critical part - 'Keep trying'. Don't compromise with your efforts. Be true to yourself. World doesn't appreciate everything good in you. But times change. Don't abandon yourself, even if everyone does. Keep pushing. Keep trying.

    ATB
  • @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh

    बैन कर दो भाई ....
  • @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh

    बैन कर दो भाई ....

    Yeh ho nhin skta. :mrgreen:
  • Mulberry said:

    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh

    बैन कर दो भाई ....

    Yeh ho nhin skta. :mrgreen:
    फिर तो गोली चल जाएगी ....
  • Mulberry said:

    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh

    बैन कर दो भाई ....

    Yeh ho nhin skta. :mrgreen:
    फिर तो गोली चल जाएगी ....
    :lol:
  • Mulberry said:

    Mulberry said:

    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh

    बैन कर दो भाई ....

    Yeh ho nhin skta. :mrgreen:
    फिर तो गोली चल जाएगी ....
    :lol:
    हथगोला भी फेंका जा सकता है
  • Mulberry said:

    Mulberry said:

    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh

    बैन कर दो भाई ....

    Yeh ho nhin skta. :mrgreen:
    फिर तो गोली चल जाएगी ....
    :lol:
    हथगोला भी फेंका जा सकता है
    R u from Kashmir
    Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."
  • Life rondu K liye nii bani. Jaldi ye baat samjh koi tere se pyar na karega wo to tujhe hi Karna hoga.
    Successful hai to makhii type kii fulghariya bhin bhinaygi wo tere se pyar ni karegi tere bank balance se, us empowerment K ehshas se pyar karegi jo tu use dega :'(
    Employment itna to tu dekh Liya ki pichle 5 saal me jo natak tune khela uska fyada Nahi hua.to kuch aur Adhik koshish karni hogi .ha tu 1-2 saal late aur hoga but 32 K hogaya aur aise hi rehgaya to delay deny ban jayage.
    Sprinter v safal hotey gain n Relay racers v. Jaldi charge le life ka, empower bana khud ko atb :smile:
    Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."
  • @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh forum is lucky to have a wonderful soul like u. Ur words are like gems. V encouraging and motivating!
  • Mulberry said:

    Mulberry said:

    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh

    बैन कर दो भाई ....

    Yeh ho nhin skta. :mrgreen:
    फिर तो गोली चल जाएगी ....
    :lol:
    हथगोला भी फेंका जा सकता है
    R u from Kashmir
    no uttar pradesh ...dear
    you are from ?
  • Same situation. 5 yrs. Never employed. But different mental situation. Bcz i blv


    1. Parents have given me birth so its their legal, social, political, economic and ethical duty to sustain me and help me. No shame No regret in that.

    2. I am Voluntary unemployed not just unemployed.

    3. I have not become a criminal in last 5 yrs. I merely not succeeded in an exam which is one of the most toughest exams of the world.

    4. I have tried my best. But still I know there are various lacunas so I will identify and rectify those and try again.

    5. My TRUE worth is not my clearing or non clearing one exam but my own existence in this world.

    6. I may be little tired. But I am not retired.

    7. Baapu Bank of India paisa deta h so unka haq h ki interest k roop m kbhi kbhi thoda bhut suna de to bhi its ok. As they say "Maa-Pyaa di gaalaan ghee diyaa naalaa" (taunts/abuses of parents are like the streams of ghee/butter..makes us better and more valuable in life)

    8. I am trying. I will try better. I will keep trying. Relatives or society ko tension h to apne bche kamyab or caring bna le bss meharbani unki.

    9. #HumHongeKamyaabEkDin :)

    10. Pre aa gya h so #Focus_On_Essentials_Only :)


    Jai Hind.

    कैसे कह दू कि थक गया हूँ मैं
    न जाने कितनों का हौसला हूँ मैं
  • Same situation. 5 yrs. Never employed. But different mental situation. Bcz i blv


    1. Parents have given me birth so its their legal, social, political, economic and ethical duty to sustain me and help me. No shame No regret in that.

    2. I am Voluntary unemployed not just unemployed.

    3. I have not become a criminal in last 5 yrs. I merely not succeeded in an exam which is one of the most toughest exams of the world.

    4. I have tried my best. But still I know there are various lacunas so I will identify and rectify those and try again.

    5. My TRUE worth is not my clearing or non clearing one exam but my own existence in this world.

    6. I may be little tired. But I am not retired.

    7. Baapu Bank of India paisa deta h so unka haq h ki interest k roop m kbhi kbhi thoda bhut suna de to bhi its ok. As they say "Maa-Pyaa di gaalaan ghee diyaa naalaa" (taunts/abuses of parents are like the streams of ghee/butter..makes us better and more valuable in life)

    8. I am trying. I will try better. I will keep trying. Relatives or society ko tension h to apne bche kamyab or caring bna le bss meharbani unki.

    9. #HumHongeKamyaabEkDin :)

    10. Pre aa gya h so #Focus_On_Essentials_Only :)


    Jai Hind.

    Kya baat hai bhai!!
  • Mulberry said:

    Mulberry said:

    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh

    बैन कर दो भाई ....

    Yeh ho nhin skta. :mrgreen:
    फिर तो गोली चल जाएगी ....
    :lol:
    हथगोला भी फेंका जा सकता है
    R u from Kashmir
    no uttar pradesh ...dear
    you are from ?
    Chattisgarh
    Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."
  • edited May 14
    Its simple.

    Just accept that u are " inferior ".

    Khud ko nalayak samjhne me kya prblem hai.

    Accept the reality.

    I have done the same and now I remain happy.


    Many reasons to still remain happy.
  • edited May 14
    Log bhi azeeb hain.

    Jo mota hai wo khud ko mota nahi samajnna chahta.

    Jo good looking nahi wo khud ko good looking samjhna chahta hai.

    Jo padhai me achha nahi..wo khud ko meritorious samjhna chahta hai,

    Jisne reserve quota se form bhara hai, wo chhipata rehta hai ki usne aisa kiya.

    Jiske paas paise kam hai, wo show off karna chahta hai ki wo ameer hai.

    Arey jo fact hai use accept karne me kya prb hai.

    Kya hum itne bhi rational nahi ho sakte ki fact ko accept karein.


    Many reasons to still remain happy.
  • Garv se kaho ki main inferior hoon. This is how I am. This is how God/ Nature has made me.

    Fir doosron se comparison karne ka option hi khatm ho jata hai. Fir jhanjhat hi khatm ho jata hai.


    Many reasons to still remain happy.
  • Parents /Guardian etc to greedy hote hain.

    Wo to bas chahte hain ki unke bachhe unka naam roshan karein.

    Wo apni inferiority ko overcome karne k liye bachcho pe expectation ka burden daal dete hain.

    Fir bacche tension, depression and even suicide ka victim ban jate hain.


    Many reasons to still remain happy.
  • edited May 14

    Log bhi azeeb hain.

    Jo mota hai wo khud ko mota nahi samajnna chahta.

    Jo good looking nahi wo khud ko good looking samjhna chahta hai.

    Jo padhai me achha nahi..wo khud ko meritorious samjhna chahta hai,

    Jisne reserve quota se form bhara hai, wo chhipata rehta hai ki usne aisa kiya.

    Jiske paas paise kam hai, wo show off karna chahta hai ki wo ameer hai.

    Arey jo fact hai use accept karne me kya prb hai.

    Kya hum itne bhi rational nahi ho sakte ki fact ko accept karein.

    Sub race me hai name fame or glory mein. Btw apne ko inferior manne ki need nhi hai. As you said, accepting reality should be there. Attitude hona chahiye, hum he hum toh kya hum hai. Realise you are not there but eventually you will be there one day or ussey bhi aage jaenge wo kya hai. Also, i have noticed duniya bole toh logo pe furk temporally hota hai but when parents say then it psychologically it damages and destructs you a lot. So many people have lost self belief and confidence on themselves due to this. Parents should also not draw random parallels with everyone as there is NO END to this thing. Tomorrow you can be ahead with someone but will be behind with some otherone and it never stops. I like PM modi few things a lot like when he said pratispardha nahi anuspardha karo and this is so true. Also he said kuch paane ki ya banne ki nahi kuch karne ka prayas kro.

    Plz don’t brand me bhakt for this.
  • edited May 14

    Log bhi azeeb hain.

    Jo mota hai wo khud ko mota nahi samajnna chahta.

    Jo good looking nahi wo khud ko good looking samjhna chahta hai.

    Jo padhai me achha nahi..wo khud ko meritorious samjhna chahta hai,

    Jisne reserve quota se form bhara hai, wo chhipata rehta hai ki usne aisa kiya.

    Jiske paas paise kam hai, wo show off karna chahta hai ki wo ameer hai.

    Arey jo fact hai use accept karne me kya prb hai.

    Kya hum itne bhi rational nahi ho sakte ki fact ko accept karein.

    Sub race me hai name fame or glory mein. Btw apne ko inferior manne ki need nhi hai. As you said, accepting reality should be there. Attitude hona chahiye, hum he hum toh kya hum hai. Realise you are not there but eventually you will be there one day or ussey bhi aage jaenge wo kya hai. Also, i have noticed duniya bole toh logo pe furk temporally hota hai but when parents say then it psychologically it damages and destructs you a lot. So many people have lost self belief and confidence on themselves due to this. Parents should also not draw random parallels with everyone as there is NO END to this thing. Tomorrow you can be ahead with someone but will be behind with some otherone and it never stops. I like PM modi few things a lot like when he said pratispardha nahi anuspardha karo and this is so true. Also he said kuch paane ki ya banne ki nahi kuch karne ka prayas kro.

    Plz don’t brand me bhakt for this.
    PM Modi is the best PM ever...Agar koi idiot bhakt kahe to kehne do...we know that its rationality and not bhakti at all.

    Mere ghar wale jab mujhe kisi aur se compare karte hain, to main unhe bhi kisi se compare kar deta hoon. Fir unki bolti band. :D


    Many reasons to still remain happy.
  • ann said:

    some wars are not fought with words. become tough mentally and stay away from negative vibes. easier said than done. but with time you learn to dismiss their mockery. society will always find an excuse to demean you. that's the sad truth. doesn't matter if you're from a premier institute or not. people are not satisfied even after attaining success. success doesn't improve one's self esteem. on the other hand it might make one haughty. be thankful for your life and strive hard. throw such negative thoughts in the bin. atb

    Whoa such deep words, ‘success doesn't improve one's self esteem. on the other hand it might make one haughty’ ... this is so true. Self esteem is big concept and people generally think achieving something will inprove my worth but it doesn’t happen actually. Taking a screenshot of your comment, thanks @ann
    you're welcome. sorry, it seems notifications aren't working. wish you all the best
    An act of stealth, a silent coup d'état
  • edited May 14
    Mitthu said:

    My parents, when they see kids around me in age of 21-27 getting succeeded to big heights in life by getting selected in upsc, IIT and various other exams or getting placed in big jobs or settled well feel sorry for me or look down on me with pity and little anger. I tried my best in past 5 years but couldn't achieve anything and wasn't employed ever.

    This gives me a very sad state of feeling which I keep trying to slough off and keep working like currently I am looking for any job possible.

    But at the end of the day, I feel like a inferior creature or trash who couldn't live upto their expectations. How can I deal with this thing properly ?

    I tried talking and explaining things to them many times but that didn't worked well for more than 24 hours.

    After final result I was not able to make it in the list..... Then I talked with my father and he has told me just this....

    He: "Do you consider yourself Arjun?"
    Me: "No"
    He: "Then don't expect that every arrow you target will hit its destination... It is never going to happen. Only thing you can do is to take another arrow take aim and relieve... How many time you will miss the target? One day you are going to hit target... But you should keep doing one thing take an aim with more focus, with more vigour and RELIEVE.......... life works only in this way"


    My friend I trust my father's word... Because I and you also are not Arjun... But we can keep trying to target it is what our duty is... And one more thing we should never forget the story of "The Tortoise and The Hare"... Tortoise is slow but at the end everybody knows who is winner...



    Do not Suffer but Persevere...
  • RD09 said:

    Mitthu said:

    My parents, when they see kids around me in age of 21-27 getting succeeded to big heights in life by getting selected in upsc, IIT and various other exams or getting placed in big jobs or settled well feel sorry for me or look down on me with pity and little anger. I tried my best in past 5 years but couldn't achieve anything and wasn't employed ever.

    This gives me a very sad state of feeling which I keep trying to slough off and keep working like currently I am looking for any job possible.

    But at the end of the day, I feel like a inferior creature or trash who couldn't live upto their expectations. How can I deal with this thing properly ?

    I tried talking and explaining things to them many times but that didn't worked well for more than 24 hours.

    After final result I was not able to make it in the list..... Then I talked with my father and he has told me just this....

    He: "Do you consider yourself Arjun?"
    Me: "No"
    He: "Then don't expect that every arrow you target will hit its destination... It is never going to happen. Only thing you can do is to take another arrow take aim and relieve... How many time you will miss the target? One day you are going to hit target... But you should keep doing one thing take an aim with more focus, with more vigour and RELIEVE.......... life works only in this way"


    My friend I trust my father's word... Because I and you also are not Arjun... But we can keep trying to target it is what our duty is... And one more thing we should never forget the story of "The Tortoise and The Hare"... Tortoise is slow but at the end everybody knows who is winner...



    Do not Suffer but Persevere...
    Superlike
    Your victory is right around the corner. Never give up.


    On telegram - @RobertPutnam
  • edited May 14
    RD09 said:

    Mitthu said:

    My parents, when they see kids around me in age of 21-27 getting succeeded to big heights in life by getting selected in upsc, IIT and various other exams or getting placed in big jobs or settled well feel sorry for me or look down on me with pity and little anger. I tried my best in past 5 years but couldn't achieve anything and wasn't employed ever.

    This gives me a very sad state of feeling which I keep trying to slough off and keep working like currently I am looking for any job possible.

    But at the end of the day, I feel like a inferior creature or trash who couldn't live upto their expectations. How can I deal with this thing properly ?

    I tried talking and explaining things to them many times but that didn't worked well for more than 24 hours.

    After final result I was not able to make it in the list..... Then I talked with my father and he has told me just this....

    He: "Do you consider yourself Arjun?"
    Me: "No"
    He: "Then don't expect that every arrow you target will hit its destination... It is never going to happen. Only thing you can do is to take another arrow take aim and relieve... How many time you will miss the target? One day you are going to hit target... But you should keep doing one thing take an aim with more focus, with more vigour and RELIEVE.......... life works only in this way"


    My friend I trust my father's word... Because I and you also are not Arjun... But we can keep trying to target it is what our duty is... And one more thing we should never forget the story of "The Tortoise and The Hare"... Tortoise is slow but at the end everybody knows who is winner...



    Do not Suffer but Persevere...
    one rectification

    " one day u are going to hit the target " this statement is false...it shd be " one day u MAY hit the target"

    another rectification

    " Tortoise is slow...." 'slow' does not necessarily imply ' steady' ...further, the era is of ' fast and steady' i.e the age of hare provided the hare does not get complacent in its journey


    Many reasons to still remain happy.
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