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Am I eligible?

I was looking about eligibility for CAPF in next year's exam and came across this:

Eligibility Criteria:

1. Applicants must be the citizen of India
2. Both Men/Female candidates are eligible to apply for the posts of Assistant Commandants in CRPF, CISF, SSB, BSF. Female candidates are excluded for the post of ITBP
3. Candidates must possess the Bachelor degree from the recognized university
4. Candidates must be laid between 20 and 25 as on 1st August 2018
5. Candidate must have gained the minimum physical standard mentioned in the official notification

source: https://www.99admissions.in/jobs/upsc-capf-ac-2018/

I am 26+ as on now. But I am still a virgin. How do they check whether I got laid between 20 and 25. Should I get laid now, and claim it in a back-date. I was thinking I should get married and claim an old date for marriage. That would imply I got laid before 25. But even that is a challenge about how to achieve that in coming months till examination process starts. I am really worried. I never indulged into these things in those times. And now this pressure. Have been trying tinder, but found no match. It's a useless app. Don't have job so chances for arranged marriage are also bleak. Hairline is receding rapidly. Kya hoga meri life ka? Anybody please help me get laid with life and live happily ever after. Am I eligible for that?

Comments

  • I was looking about eligibility for CAPF in next year's exam and came across this:

    Eligibility Criteria:

    1. Applicants must be the citizen of India
    2. Both Men/Female candidates are eligible to apply for the posts of Assistant Commandants in CRPF, CISF, SSB, BSF. Female candidates are excluded for the post of ITBP
    3. Candidates must possess the Bachelor degree from the recognized university
    4. Candidates must be laid between 20 and 25 as on 1st August 2018
    5. Candidate must have gained the minimum physical standard mentioned in the official notification

    source: https://www.99admissions.in/jobs/upsc-capf-ac-2018/

    I am 26+ as on now. But I am still a virgin. How do they check whether I got laid between 20 and 25. Should I get laid now, and claim it in a back-date. I was thinking I should get married and claim an old date for marriage. That would imply I got laid before 25. But even that is a challenge about how to achieve that in coming months till examination process starts. I am really worried. I never indulged into these things in those times. And now this pressure. Have been trying tinder, but found no match. It's a useless app. Don't have job so chances for arranged marriage are also bleak. Hairline is receding rapidly. Kya hoga meri life ka? Anybody please help me get laid with life and live happily ever after. Am I eligible for that?

    :lol: so you mean to say the only other thing that you have gotten laid with....is.....your loneliness woahhh....You don't need Tinder , you need Jesus :lol:
    signature
  • edited November 2017

    I was looking about eligibility for CAPF in next year's exam and came across this:

    Eligibility Criteria:

    1. Applicants must be the citizen of India
    2. Both Men/Female candidates are eligible to apply for the posts of Assistant Commandants in CRPF, CISF, SSB, BSF. Female candidates are excluded for the post of ITBP
    3. Candidates must possess the Bachelor degree from the recognized university
    4. Candidates must be laid between 20 and 25 as on 1st August 2018
    5. Candidate must have gained the minimum physical standard mentioned in the official notification

    source: https://www.99admissions.in/jobs/upsc-capf-ac-2018/

    I am 26+ as on now. But I am still a virgin. How do they check whether I got laid between 20 and 25. Should I get laid now, and claim it in a back-date. I was thinking I should get married and claim an old date for marriage. That would imply I got laid before 25. But even that is a challenge about how to achieve that in coming months till examination process starts. I am really worried. I never indulged into these things in those times. And now this pressure. Have been trying tinder, but found no match. It's a useless app. Don't have job so chances for arranged marriage are also bleak. Hairline is receding rapidly. Kya hoga meri life ka? Anybody please help me get laid with life and live happily ever after. Am I eligible for that?

    :lol: so you mean to say the only other thing that you have gotten laid with....is.....your loneliness woahhh....You don't need Tinder , you need Jesus :lol:
    may the son of god shower you with compassion. I want a shower with my beloved :innocent:
  • I was looking about eligibility for CAPF in next year's exam and came across this:

    Eligibility Criteria:

    1. Applicants must be the citizen of India
    2. Both Men/Female candidates are eligible to apply for the posts of Assistant Commandants in CRPF, CISF, SSB, BSF. Female candidates are excluded for the post of ITBP
    3. Candidates must possess the Bachelor degree from the recognized university
    4. Candidates must be laid between 20 and 25 as on 1st August 2018
    5. Candidate must have gained the minimum physical standard mentioned in the official notification

    source: https://www.99admissions.in/jobs/upsc-capf-ac-2018/

    I am 26+ as on now. But I am still a virgin. How do they check whether I got laid between 20 and 25. Should I get laid now, and claim it in a back-date. I was thinking I should get married and claim an old date for marriage. That would imply I got laid before 25. But even that is a challenge about how to achieve that in coming months till examination process starts. I am really worried. I never indulged into these things in those times. And now this pressure. Have been trying tinder, but found no match. It's a useless app. Don't have job so chances for arranged marriage are also bleak. Hairline is receding rapidly. Kya hoga meri life ka? Anybody please help me get laid with life and live happily ever after. Am I eligible for that?

    :lol: so you mean to say the only other thing that you have gotten laid with....is.....your loneliness woahhh....You don't need Tinder , you need Jesus :lol:
    may the son of god shower you with compassion. I want a shower with my beloved :innocent:
    arey I thought this is a satirical post :neutral: no hard feelings dude
    signature
  • edited November 2017

    I was looking about eligibility for CAPF in next year's exam and came across this:

    Eligibility Criteria:

    1. Applicants must be the citizen of India
    2. Both Men/Female candidates are eligible to apply for the posts of Assistant Commandants in CRPF, CISF, SSB, BSF. Female candidates are excluded for the post of ITBP
    3. Candidates must possess the Bachelor degree from the recognized university
    4. Candidates must be laid between 20 and 25 as on 1st August 2018
    5. Candidate must have gained the minimum physical standard mentioned in the official notification

    source: https://www.99admissions.in/jobs/upsc-capf-ac-2018/

    I am 26+ as on now. But I am still a virgin. How do they check whether I got laid between 20 and 25. Should I get laid now, and claim it in a back-date. I was thinking I should get married and claim an old date for marriage. That would imply I got laid before 25. But even that is a challenge about how to achieve that in coming months till examination process starts. I am really worried. I never indulged into these things in those times. And now this pressure. Have been trying tinder, but found no match. It's a useless app. Don't have job so chances for arranged marriage are also bleak. Hairline is receding rapidly. Kya hoga meri life ka? Anybody please help me get laid with life and live happily ever after. Am I eligible for that?

    :lol: so you mean to say the only other thing that you have gotten laid with....is.....your loneliness woahhh....You don't need Tinder , you need Jesus :lol:
    may the son of god shower you with compassion. I want a shower with my beloved :innocent:
    arey I thought this is a satirical post :neutral: no hard feelings dude
    Life's a troll these days

    p.s. 50 shades of satire :trollface:
  • I was looking about eligibility for CAPF in next year's exam and came across this:

    Eligibility Criteria:

    1. Applicants must be the citizen of India
    2. Both Men/Female candidates are eligible to apply for the posts of Assistant Commandants in CRPF, CISF, SSB, BSF. Female candidates are excluded for the post of ITBP
    3. Candidates must possess the Bachelor degree from the recognized university
    4. Candidates must be laid between 20 and 25 as on 1st August 2018
    5. Candidate must have gained the minimum physical standard mentioned in the official notification

    source: https://www.99admissions.in/jobs/upsc-capf-ac-2018/

    I am 26+ as on now. But I am still a virgin. How do they check whether I got laid between 20 and 25. Should I get laid now, and claim it in a back-date. I was thinking I should get married and claim an old date for marriage. That would imply I got laid before 25. But even that is a challenge about how to achieve that in coming months till examination process starts. I am really worried. I never indulged into these things in those times. And now this pressure. Have been trying tinder, but found no match. It's a useless app. Don't have job so chances for arranged marriage are also bleak. Hairline is receding rapidly. Kya hoga meri life ka? Anybody please help me get laid with life and live happily ever after. Am I eligible for that?

    :lol: so you mean to say the only other thing that you have gotten laid with....is.....your loneliness woahhh....You don't need Tinder , you need Jesus :lol:
    may the son of god shower you with compassion. I want a shower with my beloved :innocent:
    arey I thought this is a satirical post :neutral: no hard feelings dude
    Why would anyone have hard feelings on this platform :joy:
    Just kidding
    Saw the passion in my vulnerabilities? Now see the strength in my resolution.
  • edited November 2017
    Are these instructions inclusively 'laid' down for all the new emerging communities ? :wink:
  • Are these instructions inclusively 'laid' down for all the new emerging communities ? :wink:

    :lol:
    signature
  • Ugghhh.. noob, just go to the district hospital, pay the chaprasi to make u a fake laying ceritificate with the proper dates.

    U r talking like u don't know how things work in this country.


  • Man man
    I thought this one is genuine

    Thanks for a good laugh
  • Why are auch threads entertained on forum?
  • anjus said:

    Why are auch threads entertained on forum?

    Because we still have humour left in our country. Specially in UPSC aspirant. :D

    Prelims=1 ,Mains= 1, Interview=0
    Essay-141 , GS-396 , PSIR Optional.
    Ex-Geography.
  • anjus said:

    Why are auch threads entertained on forum?

    The same reason why child labour, theft, treason, money laundering, havala etc running in our country
    Administration has been failed

    #YE BIK GAYI H FORUM
  • JAGRUN said:

    anjus said:

    Why are auch threads entertained on forum?

    The same reason why child labour, theft, treason, money laundering, havala etc running in our country
    Administration has been failed

    #YE BIK GAYI H FORUM
    :D sab milke pagal bana rahe hai humko..............
    Prelims=1 ,Mains= 1, Interview=0
    Essay-141 , GS-396 , PSIR Optional.
    Ex-Geography.
  • anjus said:

    Why are auch threads entertained on forum?

    U r such a hypocrite. Why are people entertaining your 'phone kharidwa do' thread?
    तदबीर से बिगड़ी हुई तक़दीर बना ले, अपने पे भरोसा है तो एक दाँव लगा ले।
  • edited November 2017
    OMFG!!!! I didn't pay attention to the word "laid". I could have applied last year.

    It's a little interesting to see this post being in the Medical science category.
  • anjus said:

    Why are auch threads entertained on forum?

    U r such a hypocrite. Why are people entertaining your 'phone kharidwa do' thread?
    :D :D :D..lmao..
    Prelims=1 ,Mains= 1, Interview=0
    Essay-141 , GS-396 , PSIR Optional.
    Ex-Geography.
  • any1 received call letter for physical efficiency test for capf 2017????
  • any1 received call letter for physical efficiency test for capf 2017????

    lol! Ab physical efficiency mein kya test karte hain?
  • edited November 2017

    any1 received call letter for physical efficiency test for capf 2017????

    lol! Ab physical efficiency mein kya test karte hain?
    :lol: :lol:
  • anjus said:

    Why are auch threads entertained on forum?

    U r such a hypocrite. Why are people entertaining your 'phone kharidwa do' thread?
    Lol

    Roommate se toilet saaf karwa do thread :trollface:
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