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Women Security and Administrative Failures, How would you react in this situation?

what would you do in this situation?

A person is playing with your privacy and teases you. follows you etc. etc.
You can't take any action against him like getting him a beating from your brother or friend or file a police complaint etc. because if you do this, there are very high chances that he will plot revenge against you and may harm you when you're alone (we see a lot of cases like acid attacks, rape etc.)

In case he stalks you over social media you can block him but then again he keeps on making multiple ids and keeps on sending you unwanted messages.

In both the cases i.e physical stalking and cyber stalking, you are being deprived of your privacy. He can be a one sided lover or just another gali ka gunda type guys which are there all over India. I need serious answers
Call it a question on women security or just some case study.

If this happens to a girl, it creates unwanted stress and tension. She is unable to lead a peaceful life. If such things happen with her during important point of her life like preparing for upsc, her life is doomed.

How would you react in this situation?

and girls, how do you handle such situations?

Is ignoring the best solution? if this is so, we are empowering the bad guys

Comments

  • edited April 2016
    I think first of all girl should give a clear warning to the guy to just BACK OFF,....more than showing anger it should be a clear message to tell the guy that he is crossing limit !!!!...... If that guy would have little sense then he would behave......

    But if that guy repeats same thing again even after the warning,,,,,,,, then girl should Awake Rani Jhaansi inside her!!!...... She should first of all take her parents and friends in confidence and report them about the situation,it would reduce stress and they could collectively decide that what next step to take,which would be very effective.....
  • Ignorables can be ignored certainly but nor persistent irritants and habitual stalkers and molesters! You first decide what he is. If he is from second category..don't be meek dear friend just because you are a lady and he can harm you..no it's not right! Do you know thousands of men are harmed and murdered every day by other men....while making simple efforts to earn their livelihood?? They don't complain that society has forcefully imposed responsibility of providing for the family on them and they have to do what they would not do normally. They simply do what they think is best!

    You are not special in any manner because of your gender. Neither good nor bad. You are just a human being who needs security and dignity to live. Come out of this social construct and bust his balls if that's the need! Psychos need to be put in right place if you can not do it..who will?criminal is a criminal..if not you some one else will be his victim.

    And if you are one of those boolywood romantic kinda girl who hate the molester gali ka gunda first but finally submits to the persistent efforts of 2 kaudi ka ladakaa..jaao behan rotiyaan gol banaa seeekho... :p
    Why to be a "dahi bhalla" when you can become fried split black gram dumpling smothered with sweetened yoghurt, tamarind and mint sauce.
  • @Sir_Potassium_Pandey I'm not a girl but someone very close to me has been suffering. I can beat his ass off anytime and right now if i want but that may provoke him and he may harm her when she is alone. People like them attack from behind. Ignoring seems to be the best way but that is not right too. He is not a street molester. He is one sided lover who has no dignity and shame. She is her only victim as he is not interested in anyone else.
    Gender doesn't play any role if the guy is playing cheap tricks like splashing acids, disgracing her online etc.
    She has tried a lot @Tanuj to threaten him. She threatened him that she will file police case, she has even used abusive language, her friends abused him in public but he is not backing off. In the end, she has told us all this.
    I want to tear that guy apart but her concern is right too. How to handle guys that play cheap?
  • edited April 2016

    @Sir_Potassium_Pandey I'm not a girl but someone very close to me has been suffering. I can beat his ass off anytime and right now if i want but that may provoke him and he may harm her when she is alone. People like them attack from behind. Ignoring seems to be the best way but that is not right too. He is not a street molester. He is one sided lover who has no dignity and shame. She is her only victim as he is not interested in anyone else.
    Gender doesn't play any role if the guy is playing cheap tricks like splashing acids, disgracing her online etc.
    She has tried a lot @Tanuj to threaten him. She threatened him that she will file police case, she has even used abusive language, her friends abused him in public but he is not backing off. In the end, she has told us all this.
    I want to tear that guy apart but her concern is right too. How to handle guys that play cheap?


    O bhai..... itna tension kyun??....after Nirbhaya incident atleast delhi police have became very supportive of such complaints.....If after repeated warnings that guy is not behaving then in my opinion.... it is time to take help of police......

    yeh faltu ke feminist, Rohtak girls, Jasleen kaurs are MIS-USING these new laws...... If you would complaint then at least these laws,mechanisms would be used for the pourposes for which they were actually intended for........


  • This is a fit case for police complaint. The girl, alongwith her parents or guardian, should make a complaint to the police. Not taking action against such a psychopath can be more dangerous. Just because of fear of acid attack or any other untoward incident, one can't continue to bear such mental agony or go in hiding. Its good to be proactive and applying restraint, but this case has gone too far to not warrant a police complaint.
  • He used to stare at her for hours in college. When she left college, he stalked her online. She blocked her. He made another id. He sends 70-80 messages to her on facebook. She threatens her but after 2-3 months he starts wishing her new year and so. Pareshan hokar, she deactivates her facebook. Now that shameless pig finds him on another social media and starts bugging again. It's 3 years now. There are moments of peace for 3-4 months but then he does something.
    Isn't their any permanent solution that can be used for all such guys? It's just one case, thousands of people suffer because of such guys. She can't have any social media account because of him.
  • edited April 2016

    He used to stare at her for hours in college. When she left college, he stalked her online. She blocked her. He made another id. He sends 70-80 messages to her on facebook. She threatens her but after 2-3 months he starts wishing her new year and so. Pareshan hokar, she deactivates her facebook. Now that shameless pig finds him on another social media and starts bugging again. It's 3 years now. There are moments of peace for 3-4 months but then he does something.
    Isn't their any permanent solution that can be used for all such guys? It's just one case, thousands of people suffer because of such guys. She can't have any social media account because of him.


    Strange!!!! ...... if it is just online stalking then option of Blocking is always available.........
  • @Tanuj that creep makes tens of new ids.
  • Serious:
    Some things are better not handled by force. These people act so because either they are mentally ill, or they have no other problem in life. If it's the former then report to the authorities (police). If it's the latter case, and if you are equipped to do so, create some problems for them on other fronts - financial, career etc. That will keep them busy with mundane problems of survival.

    Not so much:
    Best thing would be to advice and motivate this dude into giving civil services exam. Nothing makes/ruins lives more comprehensively. If he passes he will be an IAS with scores of "better" girls lined up for marriage. If he fails he will spend time advising others and fighting on trivial issues on forumias.
    A Lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.
    https://www.facebook.com/jaime.kngslyr.1
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    twitter @contactjaime123
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  • @Jaime_Lannister

    If it's the latter case, and if you are equipped to do so, create some problems for them on other fronts - financial, career etc. That will keep them busy with mundane problems of survival.


    Running my car over him and cripple him for life. That's the first thing that came to my mind after reading this. Financial, career, health, family...all the problems will come together then
  • @Jaime_Lannister

    If it's the latter case, and if you are equipped to do so, create some problems for them on other fronts - financial, career etc. That will keep them busy with mundane problems of survival.


    Running my car over him and cripple him for life. That's the first thing that came to my mind after reading this. Financial, career, health, family...all the problems will come together then

    Go for it only if you have a luxury car worth crores or are a bollywood superstar... Only these people go scott-free... Maruti-walas are caught at the next signal...

    A Lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.
    https://www.facebook.com/jaime.kngslyr.1
    contactjaime123@gmail.com
    twitter @contactjaime123
    My Book https://www.amazon.in/dp/B07B2N695F
  • Depends on what kind of guy he is. Some people take sadistic pleasure even when not interested.. Whenever they want some fun they would do something like this n that and the girl eventually by her reactions give them that.
    See I am not saying don't go to police etc. Coz I don't know the intensity of problem and what kind of a person he is.
    - sometimes meeting the boy along with some friend . discussing the issue fighting over it helps.
    - coz according to me most of these online stalkers are spineless n real big loosers in life who try to become what they are not and try to behave n react in ways they would never in real life coz they simply can not.
    - issue becomes serious if it goes beyond online stalking like calling her... Obstructing her Midway when she goes out .. I mean actuallyyyy real. In cases like this when it's mostly online.. (Yes it's always good to complain to police coz cyber stalking etc are the new ways of abuse) buttt as u said she is preparing for upsc ... Like take myself.. Had someone been (actually one guy did that he was from college. 10-15 days from new new ids ... I ignored.. N blocked but he would make a new ID again.. I told him one more message and I will come to your home with my father n police and talk not to you but your parents. And there was no more any message till now.)
    - sometimes u may feel victimised but dear it's crowd there are loads n loads of them unemployed sadistic useless people. If u have tried all ways like meeting him and ek baar Aram se samjha do, tell the girl to tell her parents n they can talk to the guy n ask him to stop it else they will next tell his parents then fir bhi nai rukta toh meet his parents along with urs(not publically because then retaliation n insult feeling is there which will give more hawa to revenge etc if he is that kind of a person) and fir bhi nai rukta toh police complaint Kara do.
    - baaki it may seem submissive but police cases etc k liye if u ask me (like u said girl is preparing) toh abhi disturb hone ka time nai h.. And agar online he hai stalking toh change ur number , deactivate agar deactivate nai karna toh... Don't reply. Bilkul bhi nai no matter what. Do not block. Don't even see his messages. And if he plays dirty like openly online mein embarrass kare toh contact parents. If still then police.


    Matlab dekh lo ladka hai kya and problem sirf online he hai. And have u taken help from parents on both sides. Then move forward.
  • @NukuAlofa Thanks, your answer was really helpful. You're right, people like these are cowards. She is not preparing for upsc but time now is crucial for her life. For now, it's deactivated. I have already threatened him with death and filing a police complaint. I hope he learns his lesson now.
  • Ye boys ko hota kya hai.. Marne maarne pe badi jaldi aa jaatehain
    Matlab u r not going to actually kill him right
    The point that u are serious can be conveyed without car crash n death threats :) haha!
    Chalo gnnite ;)
  • @NukuAlofa It's impulse. You can't control it when there is threat to the integrity and safety of family. There are a lot of people out there bugging girls without respecting their privacy and decisions. I wish there was a permanent solution to these problems.
    Good Night
  • @Good_Fella

    Bhai, I can sense the intensity of problem that girl is in and your concern as well. Lots of people would suggest you to take legal way, keep calm, try to talk to him etc etc. By your description he seems to be a useless person, road-romio and probably mentally ill or at least with OCD.

    This is what I would suggest:
    - Ask the girl to close her social media accounts and change her email and phone number immediately till her exams are over.
    - Now, make a list of that boy's contact numbers (which ever he is using or have used) or his email etc and post those numbers online on various forums/chat rooms saying "Hey, I'm Swati, I'm alone, Please talk to me". If you can, put his numbers on adult websites comment section. Lots of vellas (fukra) boys,would hunt his number online and start calling him (in the hope of talking to a girl). He'll get the taste of his own medicine.
    - If you have college going friends, give his number to them and ask to call him 100 times a day.
    - Everytime he call or tries to connect with new number or ID, do above 2 steps.

    - Now, regarding legal action:
    - Take a print of all his social media messages, phone sms etc and make a full proof document.
    - If you know someone in Delhi Police personally, thats good, otherwise try to find an Inspector level guy's connection.
    - Some of these Inspectors (Thanedars, CIs) are very awesome.
    - Just go to them with the girl and explain all the situation and request that you need to get rid of this bothering guy.
    - There are ways to motivate these policemen and you know about that. (I won't name the method but you must be knowing what I mean).
    - If you find a suitable person in Delhi Police, here is what going to happen:
    - They will nab this road-romio and put him behind the bars and apply charges which are not going to be of eve-teasing and so he is very unlikely to know that you're the one behind his arrest or jail.
    - Ask the Inspector to contact that boy's parents and let the police make a threat to them.
    - If the police want, they can make this boy shit the bricks and he is very likely to change his life style after that.

    - Meanwhile, ask the girl to change her location i.e. may shift to different part of Delhi or may be her home-town, if anywhere else and focus on her exam completely. Good luck to her. :smile:

    My friend, you're not in a school right now, where you write an application to your principle regarding scholarship approval and he approves it and everyone lives happily ever after. You and that girl is in a menace and you need to use loopholes in the system to eliminate this threat.
    दूध मागोगे तो खीर देगे.... दूध फट गया तो पनीर देगे :-)
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