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Depression in times of UPSC and How to better Deal with it

Dear Friends,

As we all await the result, and with a lot of negativity on the forum, and elsewhere, I decided to so a small write up on dealing with depression.

I would suggest first timers to strictly avoid it, since you do not need to understand a situation which will probably never encounter you.

For those of you who feel a littel down ( or if you know someone, who is a little down ) , you can share the article below


http://blog.forumias.com/fighting-depression-in-times-of-upsc-and-the-endless-wait/

Mods may announce it for a day or two.
*No good deed goes unpunished* | I am no knight, do not call me Sir | I write articles for Civil Services Aspirants, you can find them at http://blog.forumias.com/author/neyawn |
«1345

Comments

  • This is a much needed step. Just now got the news that an aspirant jumped in front of the metro at Karol Bagh metro station
    He has suffered injuries on the head and in admitted to ram Manohar Lohia hospital.
    All I can say is guys nothing is bigger than your life. Even the UPSC. Why aspirants feel that once you get the service all the problems of your life will be over. And ending your life is not the end of your problems. You just pass them over to your loved ones. Please don’t take such steps. I know it is hard when failure hits you but you have to get up. And guys please don’t leave your friends alone if they need help.
  • I came out of depression and the only medicine is reorientation of thoughts. Mind needs reboot. Change the operating system and reboot.
    Many reasons to remain still happy.

    Any one in Delhi willing to learn the toughest part of Philosophy i.e. contemporary western philosophy, in the easiest and simplest way can inbox me. Its free.
  • This is a much needed step. Just now got the news that an aspirant jumped in front of the metro at Karol Bagh metro station
    He has suffered injuries on the head and in admitted to ram Manohar Lohia hospital.
    All I can say is guys nothing is bigger than your life. Even the UPSC. Why aspirants feel that once you get the service all the problems of your life will be over. And ending your life is not the end of your problems. You just pass them over to your loved ones. Please don’t take such steps. I know it is hard when failure hits you but you have to get up. And guys please don’t leave your friends alone if they need help.

    https://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Delhi/upsc-aspirant-attempts-suicide-in-delhi/article24371522.ece

  • I came out of depression and the only medicine is reorientation of thoughts. Mind needs reboot. Change the operating system and reboot.

    Sahi hai bhai.
    Last year mein bhi same situation mein tha... Lekin mein ne jo aaj tak inspirational kaam kiye the ( successful task) , us se khud ko prena dene ki koshish kiya toh, recover hone mein help hua.

    It's all within you, an up to you...
    .Though there R various example of inspiration are always surrounding us..
    Ye bhagwan utha le re baba,
    Muze nahi re ,ye UPSCwalo ko..

    All the best doston.
    Goonja sa hai koi iktara.....

    Ye jo UPSC hai na, kabhi mat karna
  • edited July 9
    Thank you so much @Neyawn for the writeup. May God bless you and us all.
  • Kr said:

    I came out of depression and the only medicine is reorientation of thoughts. Mind needs reboot. Change the operating system and reboot.

    Sahi hai bhai.
    Last year mein bhi same situation mein tha... Lekin mein ne jo aaj tak inspirational kaam kiye the ( successful task) , us se khud ko prena dene ki koshish kiya toh, recover hone mein help hua.

    It's all within you, an up to you...
    .Though there R various example of inspiration are always surrounding us..
    crrct
    Many reasons to remain still happy.

    Any one in Delhi willing to learn the toughest part of Philosophy i.e. contemporary western philosophy, in the easiest and simplest way can inbox me. Its free.
  • introvert ppl r more prone to depression,,,may it is upsc or self realization, i find my life very meaningless.
    anyway nice article sir :smile:
  • I have been in UPSC cycle for more than 3 years now. Without a job and preparing from home. I was dead depressed from Feb 2018 till prelims. What helped me-
    1. Your family. Talk to them.
    2. Your friends. Go meet them.
    3. Travel with your family/friends alteast 2 times a year.
    4. If you drink, never drink alone.
    5. Talk to younger members of your family. Specially those who are young and have just entered college. They are brimming with energy and confidence and will raise your spirits.
    6. Stay away from negative people.
  • 7. Watch movies once or twice a month.
    8. Keep in mind that the stage you are in is just temporary and it will pass. Its just a matter of time.
    9. If you feel unable to cope with depreasive thoughts or are having suicidal thoughts... Even when you know that you will not do it.. Please go visit a good counscellor/psychologist.
  • Depression is an epidemic and has poor acceptance in the society. The more we will accept it, better we can deal with it.

    Nice article @Neyawn
    तू नज़्म नज़्म सा मेरे होंठो पे ठहर जा...
  • Dear Toppers and motivators ,Teachers and even asspirants (Those have little success in this exam, because India is such a large country even preliminary qualifiing people become source of inspiration for many people ).

    Next time when you are talking to a person ,or addressing to auditions in a Toppers talk .Please explain this part of the exam i.e sleepless nights,depression ,anxiety attacks and all those sad parts .your intention to inspire and motivate people is really appreciated .But ,there is a large population in this country. You may inspire a few single digit holder .On the other side you somehow unknowingly push many people to this high pressure process.Yes it's tough to be realistic when a person apporach you for hope but for sake of humanity you have to

    .Yes everybody is responsible for his own life .Still ,You deliberately or non deliberately get the credit of inspiring people .Please realise that you have also falsely motivated large number of people .So you must take the responsibility .In your speeches ,write ups etc please add this disclaimer .Which many people do many don,t.I personally feel this part must be atleast 25% of your motivation talk .I may sound rude or foolish .I don't know what is right but something is wrong .

    Don' t behave like a king saying "akarmaan " to his army . Tell people's you have to fight hard and there is significant risk of casualty (time , productivity,money ,emotions ) So You can leave if you want this war is not that important.
    "Mitti jaise sapne kitna bhi jhado palko mai fir aajate hain"
  • Thanks
    once again HUSTLE
  • maximum stress is caused by these so many coaching classes, so many material available, so many websites, toppers talk etc which have cropped up. a simple exam has been made so complex and dreadful by them. also aspirants spend so many times on social media including forumias, whatsapp etc which is a major cause of depression. these all things have to be used in strict moderation. second, aspirants "prepare" for years but don't really work hard. third, a health lifestyle and routine not followed is also reason. one should understand nature of exam by analysing syllabus, previous year questions and listening to some toppers talk. after that what is required is dedicated and simple hard work for couple of years.
  • now extent of depravity can be gauged when we have coachings on newspapers, handwriting, essay and what not. these are not only unethical but also making the process burdensome and unenjoyable. these mock test series are also nothing but totally bullshit. these discussion classes on mock test series taken by so called mentors( or whatever they call them) are nothing but crap. only a person who has not even an iota of common sense will go for these things. as i said, exam was simple. upsc never expected us to do these things. but these totally corrupt and unethical coaching wallas made life hell for lacs of us. coaching can be understood for iit but for civil service!
  • no wonder these candidates when join services fail there en masse like 119 out of 122 ips trainees failed. many of them must be who took coaching for newspapers.
  • Neyawn said:

    Dear Friends,

    As we all await the result, and with a lot of negativity on the forum, and elsewhere, I decided to so a small write up on dealing with depression.

    I would suggest first timers to strictly avoid it, since you do not need to understand a situation which will probably never encounter you.

    For those of you who feel a littel down ( or if you know someone, who is a little down ) , you can share the article below


    http://blog.forumias.com/fighting-depression-in-times-of-upsc-and-the-endless-wait/

    Mods may announce it for a day or two.

    A very nice article indeed.

    I'm someone who has excelled in academics and sports throughtout his life. I've cleared every exam that came my way. And I'm expected to be happy, contended, smiling and jolly.

    But I've had a pretty tough life all this while, and my previous comments are just trailer. And being an introvert, I never shared them with anyone. Not even with the person closest to me.

    I've battled severe depression, and at one point even tried to commit suicide. I survived, and there began my new journey.

    Depression feeds itself, and often there is no reason behind it. You'll feel no one can understand what you go through, and sometimes it'll be tough to even get out of bed.

    Being an introvert multiplies this effect many times!

    I've had my ups and downs in the journey called life, as well as in the journey called upsc. Here is my take on how to battle depression and loneliness.

    1. Sleep and wake up at fix times.
    2. Do some exercise in the morning. At least jogging.
    3. Savour little moments of joy and company of friends.
    4. Give other exams just to boost your confidence. You can choose not to join later on.
    5. Read books.
    6. Learn to accept mistakes in front of others. This ensures your personality grows.
    7. Hobbies are a must.

    Some points especially for fellow introverts out there:

    1. Maintain journals. Write at least once in two days. If possible, daily.
    2. Share things with someone. Try developing that habit. One trustworthy person is all you need.
    3. Stop overthinking. Give your mind some rest. This will happen only if you give your body some work. This becomes the basis for next one.
    4. Develop hobbies which involves you physically. Be it some sport, gym, walking, jogging etc.
    5. If you're new to Delhi, you need friends. Friends to hang out with in evening. If they can join the same library as your's, great.
    6. Write down all your positive virtues on a piece of paper and paste it on your wall. Whenever you feel low, read it and feel good about yourself.

    Lemme explain how I generally do things right. I take pride in the fact that I'm a law abiding citizen of India. And here are a few things that makes me feel good.

    1. It's not that I was a good batsman and one of the best fielders around, that made me happy. Rather it was the fact that I gave my everything, and always played fair.
    2. It's not that I always got good marks in school that made me happy, rather it was my quest for knowledge, and to stand for what's right.
    3. It's not that I got a rank that makes me feel good, rather it's my courage to write mains and clear it when everyone else was sure I would collapse while writing it. I was suffering from a disease, and I recovered fully after a month I wrote mains.

    Take pride in little things. Feel good about yourself. Spread positivity, and make others feel good too. Just like depression, the happy feeling feeds itself too.

    Be happy for what you're. And if not contended, we all are still learning.

    ATB. :)
  • That's a very helpful article.

    I have been in this circle for three years now. Initially I brimmed with confidence that I can easily clear this exam. But slowly I realised that it is easier said than done.

    Since there were less pointers as to how to cope with depression, I would like to provide one.

    As I said I myself have been in the cycle for 3 years now, left a job after being 1.5 years there. Now, staring an uncertain future. As expected I also quit all the enjoyments of life, fooling around with friends, talking to them etc. I thought these can wait. And slowly i was getting entangled in "feeling low" symptoms.

    I searched for self help books. Books that I feel can bring some positivity in our lives.

    I went through two books.

    1) living with a seal : By jesse Iztler -- The best thing is you will be charged up if you are the kind of person who feels emotional after watching motivational videos. You will get an insight of how NAVY Seals see life, their viewpoint and work ethics. Navy seal course is much more tougher than UPSC, I guess.

    2) Man's Search for Meaning- Viktor E Frankl - a pyschologist, who survived Nazi Concentation camp. He wrote the ultimately in dire circumstances, it is the attitude of people which is in their control. He cites example from camp to show how some behaved nobly while others did not, highlighting it is always in our control how we react.
    he also describes later as to how often people without job feel themselves as useless.

    he suggested a way: " Live every second as if you would live it again in the same way if given a second chance." I know it is very hard to bring it into practice. But if you can, then you would not be obsessed about depression or such thoughts. You will be focused on how to make next second better.

    And one more. I remember this year rank 1 @LeoMessi10 's line on blog- " Time and pressure, that's all it takes."

    Just remember these and maybe give a read to book number 2 if you feel low. i hope these will help you all.

    Lastly, a great many thanks to @Neyawn for this piece.

    Thanks.
    I am the master of my fate,
    I am the captain of my soul.

  • edited July 9
    Hmaar trf se Chand Shabd ..
    Dedicated to all aspirants( like the 23 year old fellow aspirant who ran in front of metro ) , who lost their way into darkness in UPSC prep :-
    [Basic rules to be known before you jump into this quagmire]

    By Nida Fazli :
    सफ़र में धूप तो होगी जो चल सको तो चलो
    सभी हैं भीड़ में तुम भी निकल सको तो चलो

    इधर उधर कई मंज़िल हैं चल सको तो चलो
    बने बनाये हैं साँचे जो ढल सको तो चलो

    किसी के वास्ते राहें कहाँ बदलती हैं
    तुम अपने आप को ख़ुद ही बदल सको तो चलो

    यहाँ किसी को कोई रास्ता नहीं देता
    मुझे गिराके अगर तुम सम्भल सको तो चलो

    यही है ज़िन्दगी कुछ ख़्वाब चन्द उम्मीदें
    इन्हीं खिलौनों से तुम भी बहल सको तो चलो

    हर इक सफ़र को है महफ़ूस रास्तों की तलाश
    हिफ़ाज़तों की रिवायत बदल सको तो चलो

    कहीं नहीं कोई सूरज, धुआँ धुआँ है फ़िज़ा
    ख़ुद अपने आप से बाहर निकल सको तो चलो
  • Thanks for the article sir :)
  • That's a very helpful article.

    I have been in this circle for three years now. Initially I brimmed with confidence that I can easily clear this exam. But slowly I realised that it is easier said than done.

    Since there were less pointers as to how to cope with depression, I would like to provide one.

    As I said I myself have been in the cycle for 3 years now, left a job after being 1.5 years there. Now, staring an uncertain future. As expected I also quit all the enjoyments of life, fooling around with friends, talking to them etc. I thought these can wait. And slowly i was getting entangled in "feeling low" symptoms.

    I searched for self help books. Books that I feel can bring some positivity in our lives.

    I went through two books.

    1) living with a seal : By jesse Iztler -- The best thing is you will be charged up if you are the kind of person who feels emotional after watching motivational videos. You will get an insight of how NAVY Seals see life, their viewpoint and work ethics. Navy seal course is much more tougher than UPSC, I guess.

    2) Man's Search for Meaning- Viktor E Frankl - a pyschologist, who survived Nazi Concentation camp. He wrote the ultimately in dire circumstances, it is the attitude of people which is in their control. He cites example from camp to show how some behaved nobly while others did not, highlighting it is always in our control how we react.
    he also describes later as to how often people without job feel themselves as useless.

    he suggested a way: " Live every second as if you would live it again in the same way if given a second chance." I know it is very hard to bring it into practice. But if you can, then you would not be obsessed about depression or such thoughts. You will be focused on how to make next second better.

    And one more. I remember this year rank 1 @LeoMessi10 's line on blog- " Time and pressure, that's all it takes."

    Just remember these and maybe give a read to book number 2 if you feel low. i hope these will help you all.

    Lastly, a great many thanks to @Neyawn for this piece.

    Thanks.

    thanks a lot
  • What really requires some courage is to NOT write the exam – and stand like the odd man / woman out. )
    My GOD has sent me for something special and I'm making sure, I do not disappoint him. !
  • That's a very helpful article.

    I have been in this circle for three years now. Initially I brimmed with confidence that I can easily clear this exam. But slowly I realised that it is easier said than done.

    Since there were less pointers as to how to cope with depression, I would like to provide one.

    As I said I myself have been in the cycle for 3 years now, left a job after being 1.5 years there. Now, staring an uncertain future. As expected I also quit all the enjoyments of life, fooling around with friends, talking to them etc. I thought these can wait. And slowly i was getting entangled in "feeling low" symptoms.

    I searched for self help books. Books that I feel can bring some positivity in our lives.

    I went through two books.

    1) living with a seal : By jesse Iztler -- The best thing is you will be charged up if you are the kind of person who feels emotional after watching motivational videos. You will get an insight of how NAVY Seals see life, their viewpoint and work ethics. Navy seal course is much more tougher than UPSC, I guess.

    2) Man's Search for Meaning- Viktor E Frankl - a pyschologist, who survived Nazi Concentation camp. He wrote the ultimately in dire circumstances, it is the attitude of people which is in their control. He cites example from camp to show how some behaved nobly while others did not, highlighting it is always in our control how we react.
    he also describes later as to how often people without job feel themselves as useless.

    he suggested a way: " Live every second as if you would live it again in the same way if given a second chance." I know it is very hard to bring it into practice. But if you can, then you would not be obsessed about depression or such thoughts. You will be focused on how to make next second better.

    And one more. I remember this year rank 1 @LeoMessi10 's line on blog- " Time and pressure, that's all it takes."

    Just remember these and maybe give a read to book number 2 if you feel low. i hope these will help you all.

    Lastly, a great many thanks to @Neyawn for this piece.

    Thanks.

    @skywalker12
    In what way did these books help you coping with your situation ?
    BA History - Political science. LLB. LLM student.
    Optional - History
  • Humidity said:

    Neyawn said:

    Dear Friends,

    As we all await the result, and with a lot of negativity on the forum, and elsewhere, I decided to so a small write up on dealing with depression.

    I would suggest first timers to strictly avoid it, since you do not need to understand a situation which will probably never encounter you.

    For those of you who feel a littel down ( or if you know someone, who is a little down ) , you can share the article below


    http://blog.forumias.com/fighting-depression-in-times-of-upsc-and-the-endless-wait/

    Mods may announce it for a day or two.

    A very nice article indeed.

    I'm someone who has excelled in academics and sports throughtout his life. I've cleared every exam that came my way. And I'm expected to be happy, contended, smiling and jolly.

    But I've had a pretty tough life all this while, and my previous comments are just trailer. And being an introvert, I never shared them with anyone. Not even with the person closest to me.

    I've battled severe depression, and at one point even tried to commit suicide. I survived, and there began my new journey.

    Depression feeds itself, and often there is no reason behind it. You'll feel no one can understand what you go through, and sometimes it'll be tough to even get out of bed.

    Being an introvert multiplies this effect many times!

    I've had my ups and downs in the journey called life, as well as in the journey called upsc. Here is my take on how to battle depression and loneliness.

    1. Sleep and wake up at fix times.
    2. Do some exercise in the morning. At least jogging.
    3. Savour little moments of joy and company of friends.
    4. Give other exams just to boost your confidence. You can choose not to join later on.
    5. Read books.
    6. Learn to accept mistakes in front of others. This ensures your personality grows.
    7. Hobbies are a must.

    Some points especially for fellow introverts out there:

    1. Maintain journals. Write at least once in two days. If possible, daily.
    2. Share things with someone. Try developing that habit. One trustworthy person is all you need.
    3. Stop overthinking. Give your mind some rest. This will happen only if you give your body some work. This becomes the basis for next one.
    4. Develop hobbies which involves you physically. Be it some sport, gym, walking, jogging etc.
    5. If you're new to Delhi, you need friends. Friends to hang out with in evening. If they can join the same library as your's, great.
    6. Write down all your positive virtues on a piece of paper and paste it on your wall. Whenever you feel low, read it and feel good about yourself.

    Lemme explain how I generally do things right. I take pride in the fact that I'm a law abiding citizen of India. And here are a few things that makes me feel good.

    1. It's not that I was a good batsman and one of the best fielders around, that made me happy. Rather it was the fact that I gave my everything, and always played fair.
    2. It's not that I always got good marks in school that made me happy, rather it was my quest for knowledge, and to stand for what's right.
    3. It's not that I got a rank that makes me feel good, rather it's my courage to write mains and clear it when everyone else was sure I would collapse while writing it. I was suffering from a disease, and I recovered fully after a month I wrote mains.

    Take pride in little things. Feel good about yourself. Spread positivity, and make others feel good too. Just like depression, the happy feeling feeds itself too.

    Be happy for what you're. And if not contended, we all are still learning.

    ATB. :)
    +1
  • wave said:

    introvert ppl r more prone to depression,,,may it is upsc or self realization, i find my life very meaningless.
    anyway nice article sir :smile:

    may be you seek a very long term meaning out of our life which may be futile as in long run we all are dead. its better to seek short term meanings like having conversation filled with enlightment, reading a book that makes you more aware, helping people around you, being an agent of goodness however small or insignificant. if every page of our live is well written,our life as a book will be deeply meaningful.
  • wave said:

    introvert ppl r more prone to depression,,,may it is upsc or self realization, i find my life very meaningless.
    anyway nice article sir :smile:

    +1
  • wave said:

    introvert ppl r more prone to depression,,,may it is upsc or self realization, i find my life very meaningless.
    anyway nice article sir :smile:

    may be you seek a very long term meaning out of our life which may be futile as in long run we all are dead. its better to seek short term meanings like having conversation filled with enlightment, reading a book that makes you more aware, helping people around you, being an agent of goodness however small or insignificant. if every page of our live is well written,our life as a book will be deeply meaningful.
    +1
  • edited July 9
    I would suggest everyone to always keep Himalaya's Ashwagandha without yourself, and whenever you feel low then just take it. Its completely ayurvedic and without any side effects and help in coping with depression quite successfully. Depression is a medical condition and it need to be treated medically. As popular saying says that "Prevention is better than cure" and to prevent getting into depression is best medicine. Regular meditation could also help in checking depression. Falling into depression is quite probable in current lifestyle trend, so guys please take care of your health, both physical and mental. And thank you so much @Neyawn sir for starting this thread.
    The fight of my life...
  • Neyawn said:

    Dear Friends,

    As we all await the result, and with a lot of negativity on the forum, and elsewhere, I decided to so a small write up on dealing with depression.

    I would suggest first timers to strictly avoid it, since you do not need to understand a situation which will probably never encounter you.

    For those of you who feel a littel down ( or if you know someone, who is a little down ) , you can share the article below


    http://blog.forumias.com/fighting-depression-in-times-of-upsc-and-the-endless-wait/

    Mods may announce it for a day or two.

    Thanks Sir ! <3 <3
    Lost But Won .
  • Depression is a serious condition. It leads to suicidal tendencies, poor performance, loss of motivation, memory loss, psychosomatic disorders and what not. Don't undermine it by saying reorientation of thoughts, positive attitude can help you cope up. What you are trying to solve by such advice are temporary upsets, frustrations and not depression. Depression has a lot to do with imbalances in brain chemicals serotonin, dopamine, and so on. Positive attitude alone cannot solve these issues.
    See a psychiatrist. You may need antidepressants like an SSRI. They work well if you find the right one. Just do not get addicted to them over time, taper them off. But before doing that try some forms of rigorous physical activity like working out which has an equivalent effect of balancing your brain chemicals. When you get the body under your control, the mind follows.
    All the best.
  • For those all who are depressed plz read my words.. I started my preparation in 2010 and took geography coaching in Delhi and because of family problems I left Delhi in while gs coaching going on.. I worked 24/7 and gave preparation for prelims just 45 days in 2011 and 2012 and left for work then after and again came back after results and gave preparation for mains ..i failed to clear mains both the time with margin of 20 marks.. In 2013 my problems got stronger and I didnt even wrote mains that year.. I thought I will give a break and didn't attempted until 2017..meanwhile I continued work and met a girl who was well educated and I thought she would help me in preparation but luck is always against me and she was I'll tempered and couldn't continue in her job and used to say if she continued her studies further that there won't be any problem in future.. I thought that she would help me in studies but vice-versa happened.. I took loans from bank for family and her sake.. The burden has increased further.. I started my second session of attempting civils in 2017 but this time as I told already due to loans I could not take off my job and took leave for 18 days and by God's grace of God I cleared the prelims and dared to take leave for mains and again my luck turned against me in the form of the girl who is my wife now.. I left my home and took a room to prepare seriously but as she is very possessive and she was not able to stay alone without me and we used talk and quarrell day and day.. I don't want to talk about the result as you all know what will happen.. All these days I have dreamt of civils and my dreams are shattered.. I thought to die but there are many dependents in my family so I stopped thinking about suicide.. But still I was not able to digest that I will never be a civil servant.. But as days passed on I gave a second thought, so if not I am not a civil servant what are my next interests.. Immediately I got my next move.. I am interested in tourism especially wildlife and next is cooking, so I thought I will at least fulfill my next best interests.. Now I am okay.. I wrote prelims this time with 19 days leave and because of this unpredictable paper again in dilemma and my wife passed an ultimatum that no more civils in future.. I am begging God to give me one good year to prepare for civils even though I know this will not happen and preparing myself to move on with heavy heart.. Who knows maybe be I will famous in some other field.. So guys don't get depressed for bad luck or bad results.. You might be best in some other field.. Be positive and move on.. Still some stories left and we will discuss some other day
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