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[Blog by Anudeep, Rank 1] My UPSC Journey: From Despair to Destiny

edited May 17 in Miscellaneous
Hello all, I am Anudeep Durishetty, Rank 1 in CSE 2017.

I have been able to secure this rank in my 5th attempt and the journey has been long and tiring. Over these years, I've learnt from my mistakes and failures. I decided to start a blog to pour in my experiences and preparation strategies for all the Civil Services aspirants.

Blog link: http://anudeepdurishetty.wordpress.com/

These days I'm finding it difficult to find time, but I definitely plan to write detailed posts on optional, GS strategies, answer booklets etc. soon.

But before all that, I wanted to tell my story. Behind this rank were days of abject failures and immense frustration. I want all aspirants to know about it so they understand I am in no way special. If there's one message you can take away from my example, it's that it's okay to fail in this exam, but please learn from them and improve.

Hope you find the post useful. My best wishes.

PS: You can follow the blog via email so that you are updated about my posts.
Rank 1, CSE 2017
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”


Blog: anudeepdurishetty.in

«13

Comments

  • Thank you sir

  • Thank you !


    It’s a #supermanreturns moment for all of us :-)

    @crazyphoton , Can you make some time to congratulate some people here. We have a rank 1 from the community after many days :-)
    *No good deed goes unpunished* | I am no knight, do not call me Sir | I write articles for Civil Services Aspirants, you can find them at http://blog.forumias.com/author/neyawn |
  • congratulations once again and thank you for the blog!
    An act of stealth, a silent coup d'etat
  • Thank You Sir :) for ur sharing ur Journey with us.
    It's time to make it count !!
  • tq anna for sharing ur journey, mi story full inspirational prati okka telugu vallaki
  • Perseverance has triumphed this time rather than beginner's luck, it seems ...
    Hibernating for one month... Sweet autumn... Guardians of the Galaxy will be back... ;)
  • Thanks for sharing.

    Learning to own the failures/ "trying to wear them as a badge of honor".
    रहो धर्म में धीर, रहो कर्म में वीर
    रखो उन्नत शिर , डरो ना |
  • Thanks a lot anudeep sir
    When the going gets tough, the tough gets going :)
  • edited May 17
    Generally I don’t give a cent about toppers and their invincible stories but yours and Rank 40 are two exceptions till now. You both have boldly accepted incapacities on your face and worked upon them. I too have downloaded your copies and reading it again and again to learn and innovate my own way of writing. Thanks for sharing this.
  • Hello all, I am Anudeep Durishetty, Rank 1 in CSE 2017.

    I have been able to secure this rank in my 5th attempt and the journey has been long and tiring. Over these years, I've learnt from my mistakes and failures. I decided to start a blog to pour in my experiences and preparation strategies for all the Civil Services aspirants.

    Blog link: https://anudeepdurishetty.wordpress.com/

    These days I'm finding it difficult to find time, but I definitely plan to write detailed posts on optional, GS strategies, answer booklets etc. soon.

    But before all that, I wanted to tell my story. Behind this rank were days of abject failures and immense frustration. I want all aspirants to know about it so they understand I am in no way special. If there's one message you can take away from my example, it's that it's okay to fail in this exam, but please learn from them and improve.

    Hope you find the post useful. My best wishes.

    PS: You can follow the blog via email so that you are updated about my posts.

    Congrats sir
  • Tweaking your blog lines a little:
    "Sometime in January 2018, UPSC declared that I had failed in the Civil Services Examination. That was my fourth attempt and fourth failure. The result didn’t seem as bad then, convinced as I was of my own supreme ability and UPSC’s blatant bias. My inner voice immediately went about searching for excuses. “I must have flunked the language paper. Or some clerical mistake? Surely I must have been wronged!”

    I eagerly looked forward to my marksheet, mostly to confirm my own prejudice. When the marksheet finally arrived, the scores read as follows, starting with marks in Essay: 152,97,104,105,86,135,121. A grand total of 799, a whole 10 marks below the cutoff. I get my worst result in the year I had worked the most. With less than half the effort in 2016 mains, my scores were 130, 120, 96, 100, 103, 131, 136 - total of 816 marks, a full 30 marks above the mains cutoff. The bias in UPSC was self-evident to me. So much so that I'm still vacillating between writing this year's prelims or just giving up for good.

    But now with guiding lights such as you, @Trupence Grasshopper @nandini @RasAlGhul and plenty of others, I hope to first find and then improve upon my shortcomings so that I can also get to finally end this journey on a happy note.

    Thank you for the blog @LeoMessi10 , it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.
    Would love to meet you someday to thank you in person. :)
    Deputy Collector and Sub-Divisional Magistrate - Government of Gujarat.
    Prelims - 5; Mains - 3*; Interview - 1; Rank - NA.
  • Tweaking your blog lines a little:
    "Sometime in January 2018, UPSC declared that I had failed in the Civil Services Examination. That was my fourth attempt and fourth failure. The result didn’t seem as bad then, convinced as I was of my own supreme ability and UPSC’s blatant bias. My inner voice immediately went about searching for excuses. “I must have flunked the language paper. Or some clerical mistake? Surely I must have been wronged!”

    I eagerly looked forward to my marksheet, mostly to confirm my own prejudice. When the marksheet finally arrived, the scores read as follows, starting with marks in Essay: 152,97,104,105,86,135,121. A grand total of 799, a whole 10 marks below the cutoff. I get my worst result in the year I had worked the most. With less than half the effort in 2016 mains, my scores were 130, 120, 96, 100, 103, 131, 136 - total of 816 marks, a full 30 marks above the mains cutoff. The bias in UPSC was self-evident to me. So much so that I'm still vacillating between writing this year's prelims or just giving up for good.

    But now with guiding lights such as you, @Trupence Grasshopper @nandini @RasAlGhul and plenty of others, I hope to first find and then improve upon my shortcomings so that I can also get to finally end this journey on a happy note.

    Thank you for the blog @LeoMessi10 , it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.
    Would love to meet you someday to thank you in person. :)

    Bro you are a Deputy collector Feel proud of it. One needs a lot of luck to clear mains , only some toppers like artika shukla , anudeep acknowledge this . Many toppers misguide by saying i did this i did that thats why i got this rank blah blah blah. I wish you best of luck for this year attempt.
  • Why can't I access the blog ?
    It's time to make it count !!
  • Generally I don’t give a cent about toppers and their invincible stories but yours and Rank 40 are two exceptions till now. You both have boldly accepted incapacities on your face and worked upon them. I too have downloaded your copies and reading it again and again to learn and innovate my own way of writing. Thanks for sharing this.

    Thanks. I have a few more copies that I had written just weeks and days before the actual exam. They accurately represent the writing style I used in Mains.

    Will scan and upload them soon. Hope they help
    Rank 1, CSE 2017
    “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”


    Blog: anudeepdurishetty.in

  • Why can't I access the blog ?

    Remove "https" in your URL and just type in anudeepdurishetty.wordpress.com
    Rank 1, CSE 2017
    “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”


    Blog: anudeepdurishetty.in

  • Tweaking your blog lines a little:
    "Sometime in January 2018, UPSC declared that I had failed in the Civil Services Examination. That was my fourth attempt and fourth failure. The result didn’t seem as bad then, convinced as I was of my own supreme ability and UPSC’s blatant bias. My inner voice immediately went about searching for excuses. “I must have flunked the language paper. Or some clerical mistake? Surely I must have been wronged!”

    I eagerly looked forward to my marksheet, mostly to confirm my own prejudice. When the marksheet finally arrived, the scores read as follows, starting with marks in Essay: 152,97,104,105,86,135,121. A grand total of 799, a whole 10 marks below the cutoff. I get my worst result in the year I had worked the most. With less than half the effort in 2016 mains, my scores were 130, 120, 96, 100, 103, 131, 136 - total of 816 marks, a full 30 marks above the mains cutoff. The bias in UPSC was self-evident to me. So much so that I'm still vacillating between writing this year's prelims or just giving up for good.

    But now with guiding lights such as you, @Trupence Grasshopper @nandini @RasAlGhul and plenty of others, I hope to first find and then improve upon my shortcomings so that I can also get to finally end this journey on a happy note.

    Thank you for the blog @LeoMessi10 , it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.
    Would love to meet you someday to thank you in person. :)

    Thanks a lot doc! You are one of the most intelligent, deserving aspirants I know on the Forum. Remember that for some, the journey is meant to be long (like it has been for me). But I am sure it's only a matter of time.

    My best wishes!
    Rank 1, CSE 2017
    “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”


    Blog: anudeepdurishetty.in

  • Tweaking your blog lines a little:
    "Sometime in January 2018, UPSC declared that I had failed in the Civil Services Examination. That was my fourth attempt and fourth failure. The result didn’t seem as bad then, convinced as I was of my own supreme ability and UPSC’s blatant bias. My inner voice immediately went about searching for excuses. “I must have flunked the language paper. Or some clerical mistake? Surely I must have been wronged!”

    I eagerly looked forward to my marksheet, mostly to confirm my own prejudice. When the marksheet finally arrived, the scores read as follows, starting with marks in Essay: 152,97,104,105,86,135,121. A grand total of 799, a whole 10 marks below the cutoff. I get my worst result in the year I had worked the most. With less than half the effort in 2016 mains, my scores were 130, 120, 96, 100, 103, 131, 136 - total of 816 marks, a full 30 marks above the mains cutoff. The bias in UPSC was self-evident to me. So much so that I'm still vacillating between writing this year's prelims or just giving up for good.

    But now with guiding lights such as you, @Trupence Grasshopper @nandini @RasAlGhul and plenty of others, I hope to first find and then improve upon my shortcomings so that I can also get to finally end this journey on a happy note.

    Thank you for the blog @LeoMessi10 , it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.
    Would love to meet you someday to thank you in person. :)

    Thanks a lot doc! You are one of the most intelligent, deserving aspirants I know on the Forum. Remember that for some, the journey is meant to be long (like it has been for me). But I am sure it's only a matter of time.

    My best wishes!
    Thanks a lot. :)
    And wish you all the best for your future endeavours!
    Deputy Collector and Sub-Divisional Magistrate - Government of Gujarat.
    Prelims - 5; Mains - 3*; Interview - 1; Rank - NA.
  • Tweaking your blog lines a little:
    "Sometime in January 2018, UPSC declared that I had failed in the Civil Services Examination. That was my fourth attempt and fourth failure. The result didn’t seem as bad then, convinced as I was of my own supreme ability and UPSC’s blatant bias. My inner voice immediately went about searching for excuses. “I must have flunked the language paper. Or some clerical mistake? Surely I must have been wronged!”

    I eagerly looked forward to my marksheet, mostly to confirm my own prejudice. When the marksheet finally arrived, the scores read as follows, starting with marks in Essay: 152,97,104,105,86,135,121. A grand total of 799, a whole 10 marks below the cutoff. I get my worst result in the year I had worked the most. With less than half the effort in 2016 mains, my scores were 130, 120, 96, 100, 103, 131, 136 - total of 816 marks, a full 30 marks above the mains cutoff. The bias in UPSC was self-evident to me. So much so that I'm still vacillating between writing this year's prelims or just giving up for good.

    But now with guiding lights such as you, @Trupence Grasshopper @nandini @RasAlGhul and plenty of others, I hope to first find and then improve upon my shortcomings so that I can also get to finally end this journey on a happy note.

    Thank you for the blog @LeoMessi10 , it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.
    Would love to meet you someday to thank you in person. :)

    Bro you are a Deputy collector Feel proud of it. One needs a lot of luck to clear mains , only some toppers like artika shukla , anudeep acknowledge this . Many toppers misguide by saying i did this i did that thats why i got this rank blah blah blah. I wish you best of luck for this year attempt.
    That's true, but it's not all luck. We have to give our best at the very least. :)
    Wish you all the best as well.
    Deputy Collector and Sub-Divisional Magistrate - Government of Gujarat.
    Prelims - 5; Mains - 3*; Interview - 1; Rank - NA.
  • I don't know what else to say. I just say "I will keep reading these gems of wisdom. Till the point I write same one day for others. "


    You shown me my biggest weakness in a clear and succinct manner bro. I will focus on myself and my mistakes. NO MORE VICTIMHOOD. No more excuses. No more justifications.


    "I don't want to be loser at this exam !" Bsss ho gyaa.. dil se Shukriyaaaa Sir g :)
    Being IAS... 4 U Onlyyy... :-)


    " Woods are lovely dark and deep..
    But I have promises to keep..
    But I have promises to keep..
    And miles to go before I sleep.. before I sleep. " :)

    #HumHongeKamyaabEkDin :)
  • Thanks sir for writing this..you inspire us..It is very difficult to put down every emotion of despair and disappointment that an aspirant goes through and much more difficult once you know that you are the topper ..yet you did it brilliantly I am very thankful to you and forum IAS ...

  • Tweaking your blog lines a little:
    "Sometime in January 2018, UPSC declared that I had failed in the Civil Services Examination. That was my fourth attempt and fourth failure. The result didn’t seem as bad then, convinced as I was of my own supreme ability and UPSC’s blatant bias. My inner voice immediately went about searching for excuses. “I must have flunked the language paper. Or some clerical mistake? Surely I must have been wronged!”

    I eagerly looked forward to my marksheet, mostly to confirm my own prejudice. When the marksheet finally arrived, the scores read as follows, starting with marks in Essay: 152,97,104,105,86,135,121. A grand total of 799, a whole 10 marks below the cutoff. I get my worst result in the year I had worked the most. With less than half the effort in 2016 mains, my scores were 130, 120, 96, 100, 103, 131, 136 - total of 816 marks, a full 30 marks above the mains cutoff. The bias in UPSC was self-evident to me. So much so that I'm still vacillating between writing this year's prelims or just giving up for good.

    But now with guiding lights such as you, @Trupence Grasshopper @nandini @RasAlGhul and plenty of others, I hope to first find and then improve upon my shortcomings so that I can also get to finally end this journey on a happy note.

    Thank you for the blog @LeoMessi10 , it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.
    Would love to meet you someday to thank you in person. :)

    It's fight between your endurance and despair. Please don't let despair win.
  • @LeoMessi10 sir eagerly waiting for ur anthropolgy blog !!!
  • Evey bit of this word is true , though i have scored super in any subject or in the interview but atleast i realised one thing with time that is , if we keep on blaming the system and the exam we will never clear , i know i was able to secure a rank because i started to blv that the fault is with in , one of mu frnd who got through in 2015 used to say that a lot we cannot blame the system for out failure, yes at times it can be unfair and yes sometimes we may feel there is biasedness , but is there anything in life which we can say is fair , all is unfair and fair depending upon the individual hence we must rise above and fight till the end and try to correct ourselves to finally reach our destiny, whatever it may be , we need to fight hard we aren’t get anything free in todays world , we have to fight for it and if we are failing no worries, try to see where we are making mistakes , if we can find that we will def be successful, if not rank 1 atleast u will ur desired destiny

    Amen and All the best to everyone :) :)
    Indian Revenue Service (Income Tax)
  • Congratulations @LeoMessi10
    The greatest battle a human can win is the battle against his own ego. :)
  • @LeoMessi10 congratulation bro , inspired by the blog , salute.
    It feels good to be lost in right direction.
  • Tweaking your blog lines a little:
    "Sometime in January 2018, UPSC declared that I had failed in the Civil Services Examination. That was my fourth attempt and fourth failure. The result didn’t seem as bad then, convinced as I was of my own supreme ability and UPSC’s blatant bias. My inner voice immediately went about searching for excuses. “I must have flunked the language paper. Or some clerical mistake? Surely I must have been wronged!”

    I eagerly looked forward to my marksheet, mostly to confirm my own prejudice. When the marksheet finally arrived, the scores read as follows, starting with marks in Essay: 152,97,104,105,86,135,121. A grand total of 799, a whole 10 marks below the cutoff. I get my worst result in the year I had worked the most. With less than half the effort in 2016 mains, my scores were 130, 120, 96, 100, 103, 131, 136 - total of 816 marks, a full 30 marks above the mains cutoff. The bias in UPSC was self-evident to me. So much so that I'm still vacillating between writing this year's prelims or just giving up for good.

    But now with guiding lights such as you, @Trupence Grasshopper @nandini @RasAlGhul and plenty of others, I hope to first find and then improve upon my shortcomings so that I can also get to finally end this journey on a happy note.

    Thank you for the blog @LeoMessi10 , it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.
    Would love to meet you someday to thank you in person. :)

    Bro you are a Deputy collector Feel proud of it. One needs a lot of luck to clear mains , only some toppers like artika shukla , anudeep acknowledge this . Many toppers misguide by saying i did this i did that thats why i got this rank blah blah blah. I wish you best of luck for this year attempt.
    That's true, but it's not all luck. We have to give our best at the very least. :)
    Wish you all the best as well.
    Thank you.
  • edited May 17
    Don't take me negative but Sir if I am correct, you were already selected in 2013 batch as an IRS officer. How is that making you have feeling of inadequacy and insecurity or not being good enough. You have mentioned your 2016 score but not of the previous selection that too in a prestigious service like IRS. I read somewhere these coaching institutes make people to tweak versions of the sucess stories to make it appear like rag to riches omitting parts that gives slightest hint of privilege, or previous foundation.
    My only point is that an already selected IRS officer will have much more confidence and belief of clearing the exam than someone who has been stuck at other stages of this exam.
    I know i will be criticised for questioning you, but this is not in any way to lower your achievement or hardwork. I wholeheartedly salute your achievement, perseverance and persistence.
  • @LeoMessi10 sir, where have you uploaded your answer sheets?
  • edited May 17
    Piku said:

    Don't take me negative but Sir if I am correct, you were already selected in 2013 batch as an IRS officer. How is that making you have feeling of inadequacy and insecurity or not being good enough. You have mentioned your 2016 score but not of the previous selection that too in a prestigious service like IRS. I read somewhere these coaching institutes make people to tweak versions of the sucess stories to make it appear like rag to riches omitting parts that gives slightest hint of privilege, or previous foundation.
    My only point is that an already selected IRS officer will have much more confidence and belief of clearing the exam than someone who has been stuck at other stages of this exam.
    I know i will be criticised for questioning you, but this is not in any way to lower your achievement or hardwork. I wholeheartedly salute your achievement, perseverance and persistence.

    You don't deserve criticism because you have a genuine query. For most, Passing this exam itself is a life changing moment. So it's kind of confusing to fathom what anudeep is trying to convey.

    But from what i could gather, Anudeep fought a personal battle. It wasn't about marks or ranks, it was about self belief.
    This is one of the strongest traits of many successful people, if they believe in something, they do it somehow.
    He believed that he could do better in this exam and his efforts weren't meeting the expected outcome.
    And when that happens, its a mixture of disbelief and frustration.
    Disbelief because he thought could do it and frustration because it's tough to fight against our ego that is self immersed in feeling that everything went right.

    As he said, "It was a personal battle".

    He said it was a personal battle because he realized that the faults were within him, he had to win against his inner demons.

    He set aside his ego, Saw his life from a third perspective and understood what went wrong.

    He worked on them and he conquered himself. And when he conquered himself, Rank 1 was just a formality because he had won much more than that and it's only he who knows how much it means to him and how much of a learning it was for him.
  • Hello all, I am Anudeep Durishetty, Rank 1 in CSE 2017.

    I have been able to secure this rank in my 5th attempt and the journey has been long and tiring. Over these years, I've learnt from my mistakes and failures. I decided to start a blog to pour in my experiences and preparation strategies for all the Civil Services aspirants.

    Blog link: http://anudeepdurishetty.wordpress.com/

    These days I'm finding it difficult to find time, but I definitely plan to write detailed posts on optional, GS strategies, answer booklets etc. soon.

    But before all that, I wanted to tell my story. Behind this rank were days of abject failures and immense frustration. I want all aspirants to know about it so they understand I am in no way special. If there's one message you can take away from my example, it's that it's okay to fail in this exam, but please learn from them and improve.

    Hope you find the post useful. My best wishes.

    PS: You can follow the blog via email so that you are updated about my posts.

    Superbly written blog.
    Congratulations on ya grand success.
    May god bless ya.
    AIR-128. CSE-2016.
    IRS IT.
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