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Why we as a aspirant are expected to know everything? Why we are looked at as if we will pass only or after exam that we must have fared well only and that we must be selected in any damn exam.

If results dont go in favour of us we are looked as if we are not sitting on table to study but wasting our timeby sitting.
We are mocked upon then sometimes by our own Close ones , may be relatives etc.

How to make them understand that exams such as upsc are not given with a focus on good vs bad , fail vs pass , sitting fr exams or not sitting or "studying still not went good" like these thoughts?

Comments

  • Everything is in your head
  • maidam
    safalta pr puraskrit hone ki aakansha rakhne wale ko asfalta pr Dhand ke liye bhi tatpr hona chahiye .

  • 1. No relative. No explanation. Till u r in the upsc process.

    2. Focus on Essentials.

    3. Even god failed to convince those who can't understand or don't want to understand. (Lord Krishna vs Duryodhan !)

    4. Focusssss on ESSENTIALS. :blush:


    Shubhratri. #HumHongeKamyaabEkDin :)
    Being IAS... 4 U Onlyyy... :-)
  • Most people making such rude judgements on you have themselves never given any competition exam ,  and the way unemployment is increasing million graduates adding up every year, exams are going to become a sort of lottery.
    Ignore them , but do respect genuine advice.
    Luckily , i have been a recluse for most part of my life, so people dont really care about me. Got a few good friends , zero relatives.
    If they still keep pestering, tell them mahh life mahh rulez yolo whatever ...
    PS not the right time to bother about what others think about you. Just bury ur head in studies. Clocks ticking, everyone is working hard, so you gotta work harder.
    Atb 
    signature
  • edited January 4
    I agree with others.
    ऐ राजा राजा राजा,
    करेजा में समाजा
  • Tell everyone like u r doing MBA ...everyone ....(if asked say some hr,finance )
    For 2 years to get a peace mind ...will I am doing it....... my relative think I am doing MBa.
  • If anyone (be it relatives, stranger or any so called well-wisher) ask me- what are you doing beta?
    I humbly reply- Sir/Maam I am doing my PHD on "unemployment and poverty in India" !!
    If the person has knowledge about these topics, I can always discuss with him/her otherwise - great silence :wink:
    Against Islamic terrorism, Hindu nation agenda of RSS, Communist bloodshed in Kerala and WB. Learning "how to become a rationalist".

    हर हर महादेव | जय माँ भवानी |
  • edited January 5
    I believe in only one thing.
    This is your life. You have the right to make the choices you want, and you are answerable to yourself ONLY, and to some extent also answerable to people who matter to you and to whom you matter.

    If you start expecting every random relative and friend etc to understand and appreciate your situation, you are totally mistaken. Don't waste your time on people for whom you are invisible. You are making them too important in your life.

    Make a list of people who matter to you, genuinely, with your name at the top. Because at the end of your life it's your soul which is learning lessons on this planet and it's absolutely essential to be honest with oneself.
    Then just make sure that you are sincere in your relationship with these people. Make your own decisions but implement them with sincerity and honesty. The people who matter would understand. All others honestly don't exist.
    And DON'T MAKE THEM EXIST.
    Successful in an exam or not, successful in marriage/life/career or not, these people will be random visitors and spectators, but never companions and co-journey mates. Do you want to give them a bigger role? It's your choice.

    Be sincere and honest, make mistakes, learn from mistakes and be satisfied. Don't let every passerby effect you. It's your life, I reiterate. Live it with honesty, the way you want.

    PS : I practice this thought. I make decisions myself, consulting the people who matter. I try to be sincere and honest in my endeavour and at the end of any journey, the only ones who I'm answerable to are my own self and my immediate circle. No one else matters. I just look through their applauds and their taunts masquerading as concern and advice. :) And I'm satisfied :)
  • edited January 5
    Its the basic norm of this society to applaud the winner and criticise/deride/ignore the loser. And who is winner or a loser is decided by the society only on the basis of output and not in terms of input.

    There are many such norms that are intrinsic part of the society. Just because this very norm has not been in your favour, you cannot act as a cry baby.

    There may be various other norms which are unwanted for others but you might be in support of them as they might be in your favour.

    Now let me come to you. Will you marry someone who does not have a job, but has put in lot of efforts to get one? Its quite certain that you cannot even think of marrying such an unemployed guy. So, even you look at just the output . So why unnecessarily blame the society ? We are all alike.

    In any competition, the chances of success are very very less as lakhs of people are fighting for very few number of seats. So, before entering the competition, you should have prepared yourself to to bear all such criticisms that come after failure. You should not have assumed that you are going to pass.Its your assumption/optimism that is creating the trouble. It was your choice to follow this path, so you must be strong enough to encounter all the boulders that come across the path. Don't blame the game, neither the rules of the game, nor the spectators. If one is to be blamed, its you and only you because it was your decision to play the game.

    Now, the solution to ur problem. Just don't think what people think or say about you. Most of the times, its us who look for approval from others and hence keep worrying. Further, very few people criticise us on our face ( except our family members ), infact its us who assume what people would think of us. So, most of the time, its all in our head which we project on others and become worried or tensed or depressed. Its quite a ridiculous trait of humans

    Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log. So, get rid of this rog. Just ignore. You need to enhance ur wisdom and courage to be able to do this.

    Your profile name has suffx " keep walking ". It seems you have kept this suffix just like that without making it a principle of your life. Its time to make it a principle. Just keep walking, let people say whatever they want.
  • edited January 5
    logon ka toh pata nhi as I usually ignore them, but become answerable to yourself.........."Have you made it large?"
    and accountable to your parents if they are supportive
  • freeman said:

    Its the basic norm of this society to applaud the winner and criticise/deride/ignore the loser. And who is winner or a loser is decided by the society only on the basis of output and not in terms of input.

    There are many such norms that are intrinsic part of the society. Just because this very norm has not been in your favour, you cannot act as a cry baby.

    There may be various other norms which are unwanted for others but you might be in support of them as they might be in your favour.

    Now let me come to you. Will you marry someone who does not have a job, but has put in lot of efforts to get one? Its quite certain that you cannot even think of marrying such an unemployed guy. So, even you look at just the output . So why unnecessarily blame the society ? We are all alike.

    In any competition, the chances of success are very very less as lakhs of people are fighting for very few number of seats. So, before entering the competition, you should have prepared yourself to to bear all such criticisms that come after failure. You should not have assumed that you are going to pass.Its your assumption/optimism that is creating the trouble. It was your choice to follow this path, so you must be strong enough to encounter all the boulders that come across the path. Don't blame the game, neither the rules of the game, nor the spectators. If one is to be blamed, its you and only you because it was your decision to play the game.

    Now, the solution to ur problem. Just don't think what people think or say about you. Most of the times, its us who look for approval from others and hence keep worrying. Further, very few people criticise us on our face ( except our family members ), infact its us who assume what people would think of us. So, most of the time, its all in our head which we project on others and become depressed. Its quite ridiculous behaviour of humans

    Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log. So, get rid of this rog. Just ignore. You need to enhance ur wisdom and courage to be able to do this.

    Your profile name has suffx " keep walking ". It seems you have kept this suffix just like that without making it a principle of your life. Its time to make it a principle. Just keep walking, let people say whatever they want.

    And how to enhance wisdom and courage?
  • nandini said:

    I believe in only one thing.
    This is your life. You have the right to make the choices you want, and you are answerable to yourself ONLY, and to some extent also answerable to people who matter to you and to whom you matter.

    If you start expecting every random relative and friend etc to understand and appreciate your situation, you are totally mistaken. Don't waste your time on people for whom you are invisible. You are making them too important in your life.

    Make a list of people who matter to you, genuinely, with your name at the top. Because at the end of your life it's your soul which is learning lessons on this planet and it's absolutely essential to be honest with oneself.
    Then just make sure that you are sincere in your relationship with these people. Make your own decisions but implement them with sincerity and honesty. The people who matter should understand and they will. All others honestly don't exist.
    And DON'T MAKE THEM EXIST.
    Successful in an exam or not, successful in marriage/life/career or not, these people will be random visitors and spectators, but never companions and co-journey mates. Do you want to give them a bigger role? It's your choice.

    Be sincere and honest, make mistakes, learn from mistakes and be satisfied. Don't let every passerby effect you. It's your life, I reiterate. Live it with honesty, the way you want.

    PS : I practice this thought. I make decisions myself, consulting the people who matter. I try to be sincere and honest in my endeavour and at the end of any journey, the only ones who I'm answerable to are my own self and my immediate circle. No one else matters. I just look through their applauds and their taunts masquerading as concern and advice. :) And I'm satisfied :)

    Thanks alot
  • nandini said:

    I believe in only one thing.
    This is your life. You have the right to make the choices you want, and you are answerable to yourself ONLY, and to some extent also answerable to people who matter to you and to whom you matter.

    If you start expecting every random relative and friend etc to understand and appreciate your situation, you are totally mistaken. Don't waste your time on people for whom you are invisible. You are making them too important in your life.

    Make a list of people who matter to you, genuinely, with your name at the top. Because at the end of your life it's your soul which is learning lessons on this planet and it's absolutely essential to be honest with oneself.
    Then just make sure that you are sincere in your relationship with these people. Make your own decisions but implement them with sincerity and honesty. The people who matter should understand and they will. All others honestly don't exist.
    And DON'T MAKE THEM EXIST.
    Successful in an exam or not, successful in marriage/life/career or not, these people will be random visitors and spectators, but never companions and co-journey mates. Do you want to give them a bigger role? It's your choice.

    Be sincere and honest, make mistakes, learn from mistakes and be satisfied. Don't let every passerby effect you. It's your life, I reiterate. Live it with honesty, the way you want.

    PS : I practice this thought. I make decisions myself, consulting the people who matter. I try to be sincere and honest in my endeavour and at the end of any journey, the only ones who I'm answerable to are my own self and my immediate circle. No one else matters. I just look through their applauds and their taunts masquerading as concern and advice. :) And I'm satisfied :)

    You are an idiot.
  • freeman said:

    Its the basic norm of this society to applaud the winner and criticise/deride/ignore the loser. And who is winner or a loser is decided by the society only on the basis of output and not in terms of input.

    There are many such norms that are intrinsic part of the society. Just because this very norm has not been in your favour, you cannot act as a cry baby.

    There may be various other norms which are unwanted for others but you might be in support of them as they might be in your favour.

    Now let me come to you. Will you marry someone who does not have a job, but has put in lot of efforts to get one? Its quite certain that you cannot even think of marrying such an unemployed guy. So, even you look at just the output . So why unnecessarily blame the society ? We are all alike.

    In any competition, the chances of success are very very less as lakhs of people are fighting for very few number of seats. So, before entering the competition, you should have prepared yourself to to bear all such criticisms that come after failure. You should not have assumed that you are going to pass.Its your assumption/optimism that is creating the trouble. It was your choice to follow this path, so you must be strong enough to encounter all the boulders that come across the path. Don't blame the game, neither the rules of the game, nor the spectators. If one is to be blamed, its you and only you because it was your decision to play the game.

    Now, the solution to ur problem. Just don't think what people think or say about you. Most of the times, its us who look for approval from others and hence keep worrying. Further, very few people criticise us on our face ( except our family members ), infact its us who assume what people would think of us. So, most of the time, its all in our head which we project on others and become worried or tensed or depressed. Its quite a ridiculous trait of humans

    Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log. So, get rid of this rog. Just ignore. You need to enhance ur wisdom and courage to be able to do this.

    Your profile name has suffx " keep walking ". It seems you have kept this suffix just like that without making it a principle of your life. Its time to make it a principle. Just keep walking, let people say whatever they want.

    Indeed.
  • freeman said:

    Its the basic norm of this society to applaud the winner and criticise/deride/ignore the loser. And who is winner or a loser is decided by the society only on the basis of output and not in terms of input.

    There are many such norms that are intrinsic part of the society. Just because this very norm has not been in your favour, you cannot act as a cry baby.

    There may be various other norms which are unwanted for others but you might be in support of them as they might be in your favour.

    Now let me come to you. Will you marry someone who does not have a job, but has put in lot of efforts to get one? Its quite certain that you cannot even think of marrying such an unemployed guy. So, even you look at just the output . So why unnecessarily blame the society ? We are all alike.

    In any competition, the chances of success are very very less as lakhs of people are fighting for very few number of seats. So, before entering the competition, you should have prepared yourself to to bear all such criticisms that come after failure. You should not have assumed that you are going to pass.Its your assumption/optimism that is creating the trouble. It was your choice to follow this path, so you must be strong enough to encounter all the boulders that come across the path. Don't blame the game, neither the rules of the game, nor the spectators. If one is to be blamed, its you and only you because it was your decision to play the game.

    Now, the solution to ur problem. Just don't think what people think or say about you. Most of the times, its us who look for approval from others and hence keep worrying. Further, very few people criticise us on our face ( except our family members ), infact its us who assume what people would think of us. So, most of the time, its all in our head which we project on others and become depressed. Its quite ridiculous behaviour of humans

    Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log. So, get rid of this rog. Just ignore. You need to enhance ur wisdom and courage to be able to do this.

    Your profile name has suffx " keep walking ". It seems you have kept this suffix just like that without making it a principle of your life. Its time to make it a principle. Just keep walking, let people say whatever they want.

    And how to enhance wisdom and courage?
    Wisdom comes from analysing the life experiences of self and of others in both the past and present times.
    For example, you read newspaper and daily come across news items which deal with heinous crimes. Compare your situation with them and you will find that you are in a much much better position. Another example, in this infinite universe, even the existence of earth is negligible in both time and space. So what existential importance do we living creatures posses? Nothing. So y to worry?

    Courage is derived from wisdom. Once you develop the wisdom by enhancing your analytical capability and start understanding life in a wiser way, you will become courageous. For example, even if we get a small wound in our body, we cry in pain. But a patient who is given anesthesia, doesn't feel the pain at all even if some of his body part is removed during operation. Another example, the so called mentally challenged or abnormal people have no such worries about their lives as we normal people have. Thus, its all in the mind. Control your mind and keep worries away. And mind can be controlled by wisdom cz wisdom makes you a rational being rather than an emotional one.

    Kabir said " Chah miti , chinta miti, manwa beparwah, jisko kuchh nahi chahiye, wo hai shehnshah'

    Buddha said " Desire is the root cause of sufferings'

    Krishna said " Karm karo fal ki chinta mat karo"

    These all great men teach us the same thing, shed the desires. In your case, shed the desire of not being questioned. not being mocked, not being criticised by others. The moment you shed these, your worries vanish.

  • freeman said:

    freeman said:

    Its the basic norm of this society to applaud the winner and criticise/deride/ignore the loser. And who is winner or a loser is decided by the society only on the basis of output and not in terms of input.

    There are many such norms that are intrinsic part of the society. Just because this very norm has not been in your favour, you cannot act as a cry baby.

    There may be various other norms which are unwanted for others but you might be in support of them as they might be in your favour.

    Now let me come to you. Will you marry someone who does not have a job, but has put in lot of efforts to get one? Its quite certain that you cannot even think of marrying such an unemployed guy. So, even you look at just the output . So why unnecessarily blame the society ? We are all alike.

    In any competition, the chances of success are very very less as lakhs of people are fighting for very few number of seats. So, before entering the competition, you should have prepared yourself to to bear all such criticisms that come after failure. You should not have assumed that you are going to pass.Its your assumption/optimism that is creating the trouble. It was your choice to follow this path, so you must be strong enough to encounter all the boulders that come across the path. Don't blame the game, neither the rules of the game, nor the spectators. If one is to be blamed, its you and only you because it was your decision to play the game.

    Now, the solution to ur problem. Just don't think what people think or say about you. Most of the times, its us who look for approval from others and hence keep worrying. Further, very few people criticise us on our face ( except our family members ), infact its us who assume what people would think of us. So, most of the time, its all in our head which we project on others and become depressed. Its quite ridiculous behaviour of humans

    Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log. So, get rid of this rog. Just ignore. You need to enhance ur wisdom and courage to be able to do this.

    Your profile name has suffx " keep walking ". It seems you have kept this suffix just like that without making it a principle of your life. Its time to make it a principle. Just keep walking, let people say whatever they want.

    And how to enhance wisdom and courage?
    Wisdom comes from analysing the life experiences of self and of others in both the past and present times.
    For example, you read newspaper and daily come across news items which deal with heinous crimes. Compare your situation with them and you will find that you are in a much much better position. Another example, in this infinite universe, even the existence of earth is negligible in both time and space. So what existential importance do we living creatures posses? Nothing. So y to worry?

    Courage is derived from wisdom. Once you develop the wisdom by enhancing your analytical capability and start understanding life in a wiser way, you will become courageous. For example, even if we get a small wound in our body, we cry in pain. But a patient who is given anesthesia, doesn't feel the pain at all even if some of his body part is removed during operation. Another example, the so called mentally challenged or abnormal people have no such worries about their lives as we normal people have. Thus, its all in the mind. Control your mind and keep worries away. And mind can be controlled by wisdom cz wisdom makes you a rational being rather than an emotional one.

    Kabir said " Chah miti , chinta miti, manwa beparwah, jisko kuchh nahi chahiye, wo hai shehnshah'

    Buddha said " Desire is the root cause of sufferings'

    Krishna said " Karm karo fal ki chinta mat karo"

    These all great men teach us the same thing, shed the desires. In your case, shed the desire of not being questioned. not being mocked, not being criticised by others. The moment you shed these, your worries vanish.

    Super. Fan.
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