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Hobby: Reading Jokes

Share ,read and enjoy jokes here.................. :mrgreen:
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  • edited December 7
    Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

    Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

    Doctor: "Nine."

  • Today’s Thought…

    जब किस्मत ने “उंगली” करना बंद किया तो हम बहुत प्रफुल्लित हुए..

    .

    हमें क्या पता था कि किस्मत “बांस” लेने गई है.!!
  • Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

    Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

    Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

    Patrick: "What school?"

  • A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”

    Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“

  • A dog walked in to the telegram office one day. He took out a blank form and wrote on it:
    "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

    Then he handed it to the clerk. The clerk examined the paper and said to the dog, "You know there are only nine words here? You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."

    The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"
  • A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”

    Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“

    +1
  • Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
    -
    Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.


  • Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

    Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

    Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

  • A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face

  • A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

    The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

  • edited December 7

    A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

    The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

  • A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face

    Sexism??

    Comedians are allowed to be sexist (and perhaps the joke reflects the reality. Would the same have happened had a naked man robbed the bank?) .

    But are UPSC aspirants allowed to be sexist? Maybe avoid such jokes?
  • My evil clone:[pointing to me] Shoot HIM, he's the clone

    Friend:[aims at the clone] The REAL Alex would never pass up an opportunity to die.


  • Rasputin said:

    My evil clone:[pointing to me] Shoot HIM, he's the clone

    Friend:[aims at the clone] The REAL Alex would never pass up an opportunity to die.

    :mrgreen: nice
  • Mere pass sardaro pe ek joke h
    Daal du kya?
    Fir sorrybuddha wali I'd banana padegi
  • "hello, maa. Aaj hum do se teen ho gaye maa. Teri bahu ne dusri shaadi kar li"- the great Kapil Sharma.


  • Sir- bunty "muh mein paani Bhar aana" par ek waakya banao.

    Bunty- sir "Maine nal khola toh mere muh mein paani Bhar aaya".


  • edited December 8
    hi :joy:
  • A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face

    Sexism??

    Comedians are allowed to be sexist (and perhaps the joke reflects the reality. Would the same have happened had a naked man robbed the bank?) .

    But are UPSC aspirants allowed to be sexist? Maybe avoid such jokes?
    If eating beef is natural right, sexism is freedom of expression.Stop hypocrisy.
  • A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face

    Sexism??

    Comedians are allowed to be sexist (and perhaps the joke reflects the reality. Would the same have happened had a naked man robbed the bank?) .

    But are UPSC aspirants allowed to be sexist? Maybe avoid such jokes?
    If eating beef is natural right, sexism is freedom of expression.Stop hypocrisy.
    Maar eka kantaap
  • Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

    Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

    Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

    Patrick: "What school?"

    Not getting!
    Hunt alone
  • Lone Wolf said:

    Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

    Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

    Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

    Patrick: "What school?"

    Not getting!
    They blew their school. :neutral:
  • Lone Wolf said:

    Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

    Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

    Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

    Patrick: "What school?"

    Not getting!
    Baba school ud gaya
  • Lone Wolf said:

    Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

    Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

    Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

    Patrick: "What school?"

    Not getting!
    They blew their school. :neutral:
    School must be located in Pok I guess :trollface:
  • @राजा_बाबू , please iss thread ko apne jokes se कृतार्थ karo.
  • *Height of Blame*

    Wife - ये कैसा आटा उठा लाये??

    सारी की सारी रोटियां जल गई!!!!!
  • एक स्टूडेंट भगवान से बोला: रुपए की कीमत 68 तक पहुंचाई, पेट्रोल की 70 तक, दूध की 50 और प्याज़ की 100 तक! पर फिर भी आपका लाख-लाख शुक्र है भगवान, पासिंग मार्क्स आज भी 33/ ही रखे...!!!
  • सब कुछ ऑनलाइन हो गया है
    लेकिन थप्पड़ अभी भी जा के मारना पड़ता है
  • पत्नी : सुनो जी, जब आपने पहली बार घुघंट उठाया
    था तो आपको कैसा लगा था ???.
    पति : मां कसम, मैं तो मर ही जाता अगर टीवी पर
    “आहट” देखने की आदत नहीं होती तो..
  • सब कुछ ऑनलाइन हो गया है
    लेकिन थप्पड़ अभी भी जा के मारना पड़ता है

    :+1:
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