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how to deal with depression ? old/unmarried/injob junta

ok now i am 30 and story might be similar to others .. gave mains sometime(numbers dont matter) and missed someby whisker (numbers dont matter again)..i am in job like govt one and it seems OK (no creature comfort ,rutba and other&)

-about syllabus done with static part and doin the current part

the thing bothering me is my age .. i am 30 .. unmarried .. and kids around call me uncle (yes it might sound amateurish but its to handle when all frinds young cousin got married.. and the fact that i already hold govt job doesnt allows me to make bahana

at this time even my decision-making-commitee is divided into two parts --

1.part one the old one says --go ahead you will clear prelim-main-interview-LBS and all then this and then that........

2.part two says -- u got old .. wasted your youth on upsc .. what u will get ? these jobs are too hefty .. they are like 24x7 job with no leave and weekend .. and nothing in return u will get (for the matter of fact being from a good institute of technology just increase all pain when u see all other enjoying foreign trips and vacation with there loved one).. upsc prep just gave u hairfall .. old age and nothing .. u will one day just forgot all knowledge u gain here with no applicaiton and the loss of youth will be there

and yes there is a ego part of me ... which is much like hitler and trump putin .. like that leonardo dicaprio in django unchained (using all those example else govt of india will book me hate speech).. which think itself superior to other


i didnt meant any offence and please understand that its very dificult to change people beleief .. however decision making need wisdom which clearly i am laking

i have spend 30 years of my life till now just studying .. nothing else and now i thinking i miss life .. is life only means books and study . coz i have only exp them till now

sometime feeling of suicide grip in .. (too strange when i study indian history ).. some religious study bring me to think as if this life is just a diluted hell tailormade for me .. we are aleready dead and this our helll


and why i am writing this here coz only people who have exp pain cud understand other people .. .family/office everyone elese i am fool ... to me it just doesnt matter .. i stopped living for them long ago .. but now i have begin to question my own decision ... and news bring me depression .. i hate failure .. i never failed in anything else in life .. got what i wanted completelty or partialy .. except this UPSC thing.. when i started this journey i was energetic and now i feel lethargic ... the feeling of going to some old village with local mla goon or exp the colorfull(colors colours there are colors i hate some, i like some ) diversity of our country now dont intrest me .. and as a rule of thumb in my life i always considered myself best my decision best while others below me (proved this theory several time due to this thinking also ).. and sometime i think every oldie look like a foolhardy to me including me ...

i respect logic even if its from enemy... like some monk calming a worrior .. i know there are monk in this forum ... plz provide a guide to life

·
«134

Comments

  • Get married and keep preparing.
    Be a light unto yourself. Do not seek it outside.
    ·
  • Just set a deadline for yourself after which you're not going to give anymore attempts...meanwhile you can just talk to your friends or family to get constant motivation and god forbid if you don't clear this exam then please search for happiness may be in your wife, parents, do some social work, charity. Be a good son, a good husband and a better person.
    In the end its all about happiness and personal satisfaction.
    That's what I've learnt with time.I hope it may help you. :smile:
    ·
  • ok now i am 30 and story might be similar to others .. gave mains sometime(numbers dont matter) and missed someby whisker (numbers dont matter again)..i am in job like govt one and it seems OK (no creature comfort ,rutba and other&)

    -about syllabus done with static part and doin the current part

    the thing bothering me is my age .. i am 30 .. unmarried .. and kids around call me uncle (yes it might sound amateurish but its to handle when all frinds young cousin got married.. and the fact that i already hold govt job doesnt allows me to make bahana

    at this time even my decision-making-commitee is divided into two parts --

    1.part one the old one says --go ahead you will clear prelim-main-interview-LBS and all then this and then that........

    2.part two says -- u got old .. wasted your youth on upsc .. what u will get ? these jobs are too hefty .. they are like 24x7 job with no leave and weekend .. and nothing in return u will get (for the matter of fact being from a good institute of technology just increase all pain when u see all other enjoying foreign trips and vacation with there loved one).. upsc prep just gave u hairfall .. old age and nothing .. u will one day just forgot all knowledge u gain here with no applicaiton and the loss of youth will be there

    and yes there is a ego part of me ... which is much like hitler and trump putin .. like that leonardo dicaprio in django unchained (using all those example else govt of india will book me hate speech).. which think itself superior to other


    i didnt meant any offence and please understand that its very dificult to change people beleief .. however decision making need wisdom which clearly i am laking

    i have spend 30 years of my life till now just studying .. nothing else and now i thinking i miss life .. is life only means books and study . coz i have only exp them till now

    sometime feeling of suicide grip in .. (too strange when i study indian history ).. some religious study bring me to think as if this life is just a diluted hell tailormade for me .. we are aleready dead and this our helll


    and why i am writing this here coz only people who have exp pain cud understand other people .. .family/office everyone elese i am fool ... to me it just doesnt matter .. i stopped living for them long ago .. but now i have begin to question my own decision ... and news bring me depression .. i hate failure .. i never failed in anything else in life .. got what i wanted completelty or partialy .. except this UPSC thing.. when i started this journey i was energetic and now i feel lethargic ... the feeling of going to some old village with local mla goon or exp the colorfull(colors colours there are colors i hate some, i like some ) diversity of our country now dont intrest me .. and as a rule of thumb in my life i always considered myself best my decision best while others below me (proved this theory several time due to this thinking also ).. and sometime i think every oldie look like a foolhardy to me including me ...

    i respect logic even if its from enemy... like some monk calming a worrior .. i know there are monk in this forum ... plz provide a guide to life

    stop trolling on public forums.
    An Ounce of Action Is Worth a Ton of Theory
    ·
  • edited April 9
    ^^
    OP

    Yaar let me tell you something B) B)

    You are fretting over something that has not even happened.....something that is pure fiction... :p
    Itsn't this absurd - fretting over an imagined future when all you can do is take care of the present. ;)
    Stop losing your sleep over imaginary things buddy. That's all. Be in the fucking present. B)

    @dragonborn Ave isko wo wali videos dikho be jo tum mujhe inbox karte the...Hahaha..... :p

    Haan aur ek stoploss to laga hi lo yaar. Fir accept the truth and move on. B)
    #Account_Dormant_Back_in_Flow
    ·
  • edited April 9
    "...i am in job like govt one and it seems OK (no creature comfort ,rutba and other&)",
    rutbe ke liye depressed ho?

    @Ferrero_rocher and @JaiShriRam are psycological counselors of the forum. They can advice you something good.
    One burger a day, keeps fitness away.
    ·
  • :smirk: :smirk:
    #Account_Dormant_Back_in_Flow
    ·
  • Burger said:

    "...i am in job like govt one and it seems OK (no creature comfort ,rutba and other&)",
    rutbe ke liye depressed ho?

    @Ferrero_rocher and @JaiShriRam are psycological counselors of the forum. They can advice you something good.

    Kuch bhi :/
    Dum Spiro Spero
    ·
  • Started preparing in 2015 . Wasn't having much time to take coaching due to some family issues ..so just took coaching of optional and few gs subjects and go back to home.

    Friends have been able to get decent careers and all married . This puts pressure on me :-(

    Due to my family issues some time i am unable to focus on preparation . But still am trying to fight

    Currently am also unable to come out of reading phase .Haven't taken any tests so far .So lack confidence in writing .I have joined mgp test series but haven't given any tests .What i try is to do topics ache se and then give tests ..andthis ache se never happens. How to come to a stage where am able to write full tests ..

    Another issues concerning is job security . I cant go far off from my home town .So i am thnking to take SSC job like incOme t TAx inspector . But as competition is high am thinking to fully focus on ssc first..then give.my attempts after having a decent job ...


    Please share your views
    TIA
    ·
  • edited April 9
    Get married and make babies n stop creating these type of threads...ty
    ·
  • ok now i am 30 and story might be similar to others .. gave mains sometime(numbers dont matter) and missed someby whisker (numbers dont matter again)..i am in job like govt one and it seems OK (no creature comfort ,rutba and other&)

    -about syllabus done with static part and doin the current part

    the thing bothering me is my age .. i am 30 .. unmarried .. and kids around call me uncle (yes it might sound amateurish but its to handle when all frinds young cousin got married.. and the fact that i already hold govt job doesnt allows me to make bahana

    at this time even my decision-making-commitee is divided into two parts --

    1.part one the old one says --go ahead you will clear prelim-main-interview-LBS and all then this and then that........

    2.part two says -- u got old .. wasted your youth on upsc .. what u will get ? these jobs are too hefty .. they are like 24x7 job with no leave and weekend .. and nothing in return u will get (for the matter of fact being from a good institute of technology just increase all pain when u see all other enjoying foreign trips and vacation with there loved one).. upsc prep just gave u hairfall .. old age and nothing .. u will one day just forgot all knowledge u gain here with no applicaiton and the loss of youth will be there

    and yes there is a ego part of me ... which is much like hitler and trump putin .. like that leonardo dicaprio in django unchained (using all those example else govt of india will book me hate speech).. which think itself superior to other


    i didnt meant any offence and please understand that its very dificult to change people beleief .. however decision making need wisdom which clearly i am laking

    i have spend 30 years of my life till now just studying .. nothing else and now i thinking i miss life .. is life only means books and study . coz i have only exp them till now

    sometime feeling of suicide grip in .. (too strange when i study indian history ).. some religious study bring me to think as if this life is just a diluted hell tailormade for me .. we are aleready dead and this our helll


    and why i am writing this here coz only people who have exp pain cud understand other people .. .family/office everyone elese i am fool ... to me it just doesnt matter .. i stopped living for them long ago .. but now i have begin to question my own decision ... and news bring me depression .. i hate failure .. i never failed in anything else in life .. got what i wanted completelty or partialy .. except this UPSC thing.. when i started this journey i was energetic and now i feel lethargic ... the feeling of going to some old village with local mla goon or exp the colorfull(colors colours there are colors i hate some, i like some ) diversity of our country now dont intrest me .. and as a rule of thumb in my life i always considered myself best my decision best while others below me (proved this theory several time due to this thinking also ).. and sometime i think every oldie look like a foolhardy to me including me ...

    i respect logic even if its from enemy... like some monk calming a worrior .. i know there are monk in this forum ... plz provide a guide to life

    Bhai main to yahi kahunga enjoy the journey...don't think too much about success/ failure...baki with time ke sath lethargy aa hi jati h.. improve ur self...set goals...be happy..
    ·
  • @ Wolf of Wall Street .
    Consider these facts :
    - I am in 30s with no employment at all and no work experience at all.
    - Suffered relationship trouble two years back.So still single .
    - Whatever jobs I used to apply . In one or the other sense , it always ended in failure .
    - Almost every other friend of mine is in civil services and some have completed even four or five years of service there .
    - No social recognition. Every other relative don't bother that even I m in existence .
    Feeling little bit happy .?Now continue reading ....
    Consider these facts now :
    - I am never been depressed only sad sometimes .
    - Always looks for the flip side if I am sad.
    -I never compare myself to others. Remember , do not compare yourself with other persons. Respect yourself . Life is not fair. The sooner you will realise it , easier would it be for you at peace with yourself.
    - I never thought the process of preparation as a mistake . I took this as the process of my self improvement . It is just a irony that , we study and read only for exams . Warren buffet life has been changed by just one book , 'the intelligent investor ' .
    - This June pre exam would possibly be my last attempt . I am just studying for it like I am preparing for the first time rectifying my mistakes while preparation .
    And consider these final points :
    - Have more control on your thoughts . I will recommend a book ' The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari'. One of my fav book.
    - Give more time to think what u want rather than what u not .
    - Have patience and relax . Life is not a thing to be taken seriously .
    - Finally , if you still want more thoughts , read Buddhism thoroughly . It will also help u in pre and mains exam .
    ·
  • Evn buddha left home at d age of 29 and mahavir left at 30
    ·
  • Having ego is good as Sants n monks says zindagi zhand hai phir v ghamand hai :mrgreen: .baki come to animal kingdom n u will realize the only purpose of life is perpetuation of race.u jus make sure dat u transfer best possible genes to Ur coming generation,rest is f9 atleast none F my concern. thatak!! :D B) :#
    ·
  • Jis jis ko sanyas lena hai mere china k tibbat mai uska swagat hai >:)
    ·
  • FAILURE IN CSE , IS A STATISTICAL CERTAINTY
    ·
  • Having ego is good as Sants n monks says zindagi zhand hai phir v ghamand hai :mrgreen: .baki come to animal kingdom n u will realize the only purpose of life is perpetuation of race.u jus make sure dat u transfer best possible genes to Ur coming generation,rest is f9 atleast none F my concern. thatak!! :D B) :#

    Ye balak bahot aage jayega
    Tathastu B) B)
    Hahaha
    #Account_Dormant_Back_in_Flow
    ·
  • @ Wolf of Wall Street .
    Consider these facts :
    - I am in 30s with no employment at all and no work experience at all.
    - Suffered relationship trouble two years back.So still single .
    - Whatever jobs I used to apply . In one or the other sense , it always ended in failure .
    - Almost every other friend of mine is in civil services and some have completed even four or five years of service there .
    - No social recognition. Every other relative don't bother that even I m in existence .
    Feeling little bit happy .?Now continue reading ....
    Consider these facts now :
    - I am never been depressed only sad sometimes .
    - Always looks for the flip side if I am sad.
    -I never compare myself to others. Remember , do not compare yourself with other persons. Respect yourself . Life is not fair. The sooner you will realise it , easier would it be for you at peace with yourself.
    - I never thought the process of preparation as a mistake . I took this as the process of my self improvement . It is just a irony that , we study and read only for exams . Warren buffet life has been changed by just one book , 'the intelligent investor ' .
    - This June pre exam would possibly be my last attempt . I am just studying for it like I am preparing for the first time rectifying my mistakes while preparation .
    And consider these final points :
    - Have more control on your thoughts . I will recommend a book ' The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari'. One of my fav book.
    - Give more time to think what u want rather than what u not .
    - Have patience and relax . Life is not a thing to be taken seriously .
    - Finally , if you still want more thoughts , read Buddhism thoroughly . It will also help u in pre and mains exam .

    <3
    ·
  • ok now i am 30 and story might be similar to others .. gave mains sometime(numbers dont matter) and missed someby whisker (numbers dont matter again)..i am in job like govt one and it seems OK (no creature comfort ,rutba and other&)

    -about syllabus done with static part and doin the current part

    the thing bothering me is my age .. i am 30 .. unmarried .. and kids around call me uncle (yes it might sound amateurish but its to handle when all frinds young cousin got married.. and the fact that i already hold govt job doesnt allows me to make bahana

    at this time even my decision-making-commitee is divided into two parts --

    1.part one the old one says --go ahead you will clear prelim-main-interview-LBS and all then this and then that........

    2.part two says -- u got old .. wasted your youth on upsc .. what u will get ? these jobs are too hefty .. they are like 24x7 job with no leave and weekend .. and nothing in return u will get (for the matter of fact being from a good institute of technology just increase all pain when u see all other enjoying foreign trips and vacation with there loved one).. upsc prep just gave u hairfall .. old age and nothing .. u will one day just forgot all knowledge u gain here with no applicaiton and the loss of youth will be there

    and yes there is a ego part of me ... which is much like hitler and trump putin .. like that leonardo dicaprio in django unchained (using all those example else govt of india will book me hate speech).. which think itself superior to other


    i didnt meant any offence and please understand that its very dificult to change people beleief .. however decision making need wisdom which clearly i am laking

    i have spend 30 years of my life till now just studying .. nothing else and now i thinking i miss life .. is life only means books and study . coz i have only exp them till now

    sometime feeling of suicide grip in .. (too strange when i study indian history ).. some religious study bring me to think as if this life is just a diluted hell tailormade for me .. we are aleready dead and this our helll


    and why i am writing this here coz only people who have exp pain cud understand other people .. .family/office everyone elese i am fool ... to me it just doesnt matter .. i stopped living for them long ago .. but now i have begin to question my own decision ... and news bring me depression .. i hate failure .. i never failed in anything else in life .. got what i wanted completelty or partialy .. except this UPSC thing.. when i started this journey i was energetic and now i feel lethargic ... the feeling of going to some old village with local mla goon or exp the colorfull(colors colours there are colors i hate some, i like some ) diversity of our country now dont intrest me .. and as a rule of thumb in my life i always considered myself best my decision best while others below me (proved this theory several time due to this thinking also ).. and sometime i think every oldie look like a foolhardy to me including me ...

    i respect logic even if its from enemy... like some monk calming a worrior .. i know there are monk in this forum ... plz provide a guide to life

    1st if all hats off to you for coming out and expressing your pain and sufferings so openly..It takes guts to do that!I can understand the pressure and pain you must be going through..But pls keep one thing in mind..Regret brings only sorrows..Don't regret the decision u took and try to build upon them..If possible get married and if not try to love yourself..It may sound a very clichéd word but it is so so important to love yourself for what you do.. Whenever you compare your career with your friends you are in essence reducing a part of love for yourself..
    I would also advise you to practice gratitude for what you have..You have Manny thing to be thankful for.. Exemplify those rather than exemplifying what you don't have..I have suffered from depression and anxiety disorders myslef and know a bit how to deal with it...Ignore whoever thinks you are weak...You are powerful beyond measures bro...

    ·
  • Started preparing in 2015 . Wasn't having much time to take coaching due to some family issues ..so just took coaching of optional and few gs subjects and go back to home.

    Friends have been able to get decent careers and all married . This puts pressure on me :-(

    Due to my family issues some time i am unable to focus on preparation . But still am trying to fight

    Currently am also unable to come out of reading phase .Haven't taken any tests so far .So lack confidence in writing .I have joined mgp test series but haven't given any tests .What i try is to do topics ache se and then give tests ..andthis ache se never happens. How to come to a stage where am able to write full tests ..

    Another issues concerning is job security . I cant go far off from my home town .So i am thnking to take SSC job like incOme t TAx inspector . But as competition is high am thinking to fully focus on ssc first..then give.my attempts after having a decent job ...


    Please share your views
    TIA

    Any support/motivation will be appreciated
    :)
    ·
  • Started preparing in 2015 . Wasn't having much time to take coaching due to some family issues ..so just took coaching of optional and few gs subjects and go back to home.

    Friends have been able to get decent careers and all married . This puts pressure on me :-(

    Due to my family issues some time i am unable to focus on preparation . But still am trying to fight

    Currently am also unable to come out of reading phase .Haven't taken any tests so far .So lack confidence in writing .I have joined mgp test series but haven't given any tests .What i try is to do topics ache se and then give tests ..andthis ache se never happens. How to come to a stage where am able to write full tests ..

    Another issues concerning is job security . I cant go far off from my home town .So i am thnking to take SSC job like incOme t TAx inspector . But as competition is high am thinking to fully focus on ssc first..then give.my attempts after having a decent job ...


    Please share your views
    TIA

    Any support/motivation will be appreciated
    :)
    Go full ballistic at SSC and stop not until you land a job. Then resume preparing for UPSC along with the job.

    Be a light unto yourself. Do not seek it outside.
    ·
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