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high since 5 years! confused about reality

i am a 24 year old guy giving mains for second time.

i had contracted a bad bad habit of smoking marijiana and charas. it has continued throughout engineering and for past 5 years I can say that i have been high almost everyday...

while benefits have been there...
i have been studying fearlessly(?) scoring fairly good in prelims missed mains by 70 marks.. funny thing is i gave optional paper while being high and got 128... essay also same marks. dunno why but i used both chu*** and ran%% word in essay.. had i been conscious fully i would not have written. is that called beneficial?

i am loving this but side effects are also there
stress management without weed is zero...

please can anyone guide

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Comments

  • Really!
    If that's true, then salute to you. I wonder why UPSC didn't ban you for using those words :D
    The day we decided, that the worth of an individual was determined by their performance in an examination, was the day Education failed us.
    ·
  • i am a 24 year old guy giving mains for second time.

    i had contracted a bad bad habit of smoking marijiana and charas. it has continued throughout engineering and for past 5 years I can say that i have been high almost everyday...

    while benefits have been there...
    i have been studying fearlessly(?) scoring fairly good in prelims missed mains by 70 marks.. funny thing is i gave optional paper while being high and got 128... essay also same marks. dunno why but i used both chu*** and ran%% word in essay.. had i been conscious fully i would not have written. is that called beneficial?

    i am loving this but side effects are also there
    stress management without weed is zero...

    please can anyone guide

    Guidance regarding what....
    If you are an egoistical high functioning addict, refusing to see a problem, then i dont think anything can be done. However since u mentioned having lost your marbles while high, i say its time to get help.
    ·
  • Troll alert
    ·
  • Troll Babu

    Arey yaar aisi tips mat Diya Karo....Kuch log seriously lekar likh aayenge essay main
    :D
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"
    ·
  • Guys, this person says that he has been studying fearlessly and still missed mains by 70 marks.
    This inspite of scoring 128 in two papers.
    He also admits that stress management is zero without weed thus he constantly needs to be high.

    So if drugs are not working for him, they will not for anyone else.

    Say NO to drugs. Every time.
    ·
  • MD47 said:

    Troll Babu

    Arey yaar aisi tips mat Diya Karo....Kuch log seriously lekar likh aayenge essay main
    :D

    chemistry said:

    Troll alert


    i am not at all trolling.. in values and education ques I have written that many highly educated and so called sophisticated people use chu%%% and ra%%% on a daily basis

    sach me likha hai koi jhooth nahi bol raha hu hadd karte ho jo sach me hota hai wo na likhu essay me??
    ·
  • MD47 said:

    Troll Babu

    Arey yaar aisi tips mat Diya Karo....Kuch log seriously lekar likh aayenge essay main
    :D

    chemistry said:

    Troll alert


    i am not at all trolling.. in values and education ques I have written that many highly educated and so called sophisticated people use chu%%% and ra%%% on a daily basis

    sach me likha hai koi jhooth nahi bol raha hu hadd karte ho jo sach me hota hai wo na likhu essay me??
    Seems checker was also on a high..Mazza aa gaya ho ga usko...aaya koi mard!!!
    ·
  • brothers and sisters please dont judge me..

    mai ye sab crime se nai karta..i may getting help thru yoga now.. parso se join kea hai half an hour daily
    ·
  • brothers and sisters please dont judge me..

    mai ye sab crime se nai karta..i may getting help thru yoga now.. parso se join kea hai half an hour daily

    Ok sorry for earlier post bhai
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"
    ·
  • jaljal
    edited November 2016
    BTW..IF you are seriously suffering from addiction..go to rehab as soon as possible..may after Dec 9....This is taking a toll of you with each passing day...Even if you get into services..things will become extremely difficult for you.You have to fully concious with high level of stress management ability. If you not told your poarents, tell them and tell them that you want rehab. Initially they might feel dejected but your way towards weed free life will be easy..haan don't tell society about it...IT is very cruel with peoples' faults.
    ·
  • jal said:

    MD47 said:

    Troll Babu

    Arey yaar aisi tips mat Diya Karo....Kuch log seriously lekar likh aayenge essay main
    :D

    chemistry said:

    Troll alert


    i am not at all trolling.. in values and education ques I have written that many highly educated and so called sophisticated people use chu%%% and ra%%% on a daily basis

    sach me likha hai koi jhooth nahi bol raha hu hadd karte ho jo sach me hota hai wo na likhu essay me??
    Seems checker was also on a high..Mazza aa gaya ho ga usko...aaya koi mard!!!
    mard wala dont know bro.. but surely in essay i think crude reality attracts the examiner more..

    In dreams essay one.. i wrote my primary dream as having a latrine in every house.. nothing content dense and all that shit
    ·
  • Bhai if u leave ganja/charas now ...her chij 5 min ke baad samjh aayegi...agar vishwas nahi hota to try kerlo..4 saal maine dekha hai in banglr engg colleges..after mains try kerna chodne ka..ghar chale jaan best option hai..jabardasti ke dusre kaam kerna..bas dimaag udher na jaye..bas 1 month ke baad koi de bhi to latiya dena
    ·
  • jaljal
    edited November 2016

    jal said:

    MD47 said:

    Troll Babu

    Arey yaar aisi tips mat Diya Karo....Kuch log seriously lekar likh aayenge essay main
    :D

    chemistry said:

    Troll alert


    i am not at all trolling.. in values and education ques I have written that many highly educated and so called sophisticated people use chu%%% and ra%%% on a daily basis

    sach me likha hai koi jhooth nahi bol raha hu hadd karte ho jo sach me hota hai wo na likhu essay me??
    Seems checker was also on a high..Mazza aa gaya ho ga usko...aaya koi mard!!!
    mard wala dont know bro.. but surely in essay i think crude reality attracts the examiner more..

    In dreams essay one.. i wrote my primary dream as having a latrine in every house.. nothing content dense and all that shit
    Actually you are right.....acknowledgement of Hard. crude, bitter truth experienced by us in everyday life count more in administration rather than academic language which usually shies away from such things due to propriety.
    ·
  • some one mentioned "Rehab"...Well, lemme clear the air that in India if you tell a doctor about your problem then he will suggest a rehab-cum-mental hospital. Thats right a mental hospital, the rest of theses so called rehabs are nothing but support groups like "AAA" they will help you with prayers and shit but wont help with deaddiction, if they do they'll charge you a fortune. So if you are light on funds best way for you is lock yourself in a room, throw away the keys and let your system flush out those toxins. Good thing is weed wont require that much of an effort, hash might depending your consumption. Thank your stars that you havent graduated to the "hard stuff" coz that would have been hard, like really hard. Best of luck.
    ·
  • killerjoe said:

    some one mentioned "Rehab"...Well, lemme clear the air that in India if you tell a doctor about your problem then he will suggest a rehab-cum-mental hospital. Thats right a mental hospital, the rest of theses so called rehabs are nothing but support groups like "AAA" they will help you with prayers and shit but wont help with deaddiction, if they do they'll charge you a fortune. So if you are light on funds best way for you is lock yourself in a room, throw away the keys and let your system flush out those toxins. Good thing is weed wont require that much of an effort, hash might depending your consumption. Thank your stars that you havent graduated to the "hard stuff" coz that would have been hard, like really hard. Best of luck.

    :o :o Thanks..that's what I learnt while dealing with cases in Punjab....Most parents say Rehab..Thanks you saved him.
    ·
  • only @DepartedMisanthrope can save you, my friend!
    An Ounce of Action Is Worth a Ton of Theory
    ·
  • only @DepartedMisanthrope can save you, my friend!

    Smirnoff or BP - choose your new poison. Replace all opium, cannabis, tobacco, etc contraband from your home. Go to a shrink. They can give you talk therapy and drugs to help you quit everything.

    Warning - Don't mix any drugs with alcohol or you can die like one of my friend nearly died in high school. He was taking some depression drug and went for a binge session and ended up in hospital.
    Dead and departed player. RIP.
    ·
  • killerjoe said:

    i am a 24 year old guy giving mains for second time.

    i had contracted a bad bad habit of smoking marijiana and charas. it has continued throughout engineering and for past 5 years I can say that i have been high almost everyday...

    while benefits have been there...
    i have been studying fearlessly(?) scoring fairly good in prelims missed mains by 70 marks.. funny thing is i gave optional paper while being high and got 128... essay also same marks. dunno why but i used both chu*** and ran%% word in essay.. had i been conscious fully i would not have written. is that called beneficial?

    i am loving this but side effects are also there
    stress management without weed is zero...

    please can anyone guide

    Guidance regarding what....
    If you are an egoistical high functioning addict, refusing to see a problem, then i dont think anything can be done. However since u mentioned having lost your marbles while high, i say its time to get help.
    +1
    •~dangal dangal~•
    The difference between good and great is some percentage of extra effort
    ·
  • edited November 2016

    i am a 24 year old guy giving mains for second time.

    i had contracted a bad bad habit of smoking marijiana and charas. it has continued throughout engineering and for past 5 years I can say that i have been high almost everyday...

    while benefits have been there...
    i have been studying fearlessly(?) scoring fairly good in prelims missed mains by 70 marks.. funny thing is i gave optional paper while being high and got 128... essay also same marks. dunno why but i used both chu*** and ran%% word in essay.. had i been conscious fully i would not have written. is that called beneficial?

    i am loving this but side effects are also there
    stress management without weed is zero...

    please can anyone guide

    Bhai ghar chale jaao and stop all kinds of intoxication. 5-6 din bahut azeeb lagega, irritated feel karoge, 1 mahine tak jo padoge usmein mann nahin lagega... Lekin ek baar jab detox ho jaayegaa na.. tab tumhe apni performance main improvement dikhai padegaa.....

    Pros of leaving charas and marijuana are much higher then the perceived benefit.... Biggest benefit will be in your retention capability and improved memory which is a key for this exam.
    Be courageous and take bold steps keeping your future in mind. Rehab wagerah sab bakchodi hai. Dont look for help from others, Personal problem hai tumhari, khud hi apni madad karo........

    PS: above advice is based on personal experience. Almost similar issues for me till last attempt. This time I am clean since 8-9 months and I can feel the difference now.
    Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
    ·
  • Does Weed make you fear less...
    It makes me paranoid...(tried 2 times then left it alone)

    I used to be addicted to alcohol, cigs,... But not anymore...

    Anyway you already know what you have to do stop asking and start doing...
    TAX ASSISTANT IN CUSTOMS (CGLE 2014)
    ·
  • Caartey said:

    Does Weed make you fear less...
    It makes me paranoid...(tried 2 times then left it alone)

    I used to be addicted to alcohol, cigs,... But not anymore...

    Anyway you already know what you have to do stop asking and start doing...

    FREE ADVICE
    Please, Please, Please don't create new threads
    unless there are no threads on the same topic
    or the previous thread is closed...

    @Caartey hahahaha so much worried about thread ....
    ·
  • hw mch marks u got in ethics? >:)
    it will matter in the end...definitely..
    ·
  • kashmir said:

    hw mch marks u got in ethics? >:)

    dn tk it seriously jst wntd to knw as last yr ppr ws very lengthy ..u might hv more speed :D
    it will matter in the end...definitely..
    ·
  • edited November 2016
    ^^^^ AVE vo भंड hoga abhi ... ye thread sab maze aur satisfaction ke liye hai ...ave koi nhi fookna chahta ..... i have short itinerary of that for 1 year ... but my college time lapsed ...aur mera ghar jaake choot gaya ..... aisa nhi hai ki ghar jaane pe but mujhe vaise hi guilt waali feeling aati thi ki ave ab ho gaye भंड ...ab kya karaoge isse jyaada . but habit ...to aglle din bhi ... ultimatey semester aaye ..kuch relaxation tab mila aur kuch college khatm hone par .....

    PS --- jo khud ki nahi sun sakta ...vo doosro ki advice kya sunega yaar ..... baaki to sab jaante hi hai ...... bande sab dil ke achhe hote hai ye sab karne waale .... dil mai kuch nhi hota ..bhut pyaara dil hota hai unkaa ... bhut sach bolte hai aur jhooth bhut kam :D :D :D but isse life nahi chalti yaar .. kuch bhi kar leo .. ultimately sabko chorna padta hi hai
    if he wants to sustain a normal life .... but the person himself should realize that ...... usske baad kuch hi din lagte hai ...
    ·
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