Mains Marathon 2016 Daily Answer Writing and CRITICAL Review

Let's WRITE and POST images or pdf of Everyday answers we write.. And LET WE ALL CRITICALLY REVIEW EACH OTHER'S ANSWERs..

I think this only can make our writing WORTH practicing !!! What say guyzzzz ???...

Let's make this thread as popular as earlier Prelims thread ???


No bakar just Knowledge and Evaluation ONLYYY !!!

@IWRA @Kek @killer_queen @DrkingSchulz @Achcontender @soo @harry90 @all others willing to participate ???
Being IAS... 4 U Onlyyy... :-)
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Comments

  • Let me set the first tune !!! Marathon 22 August answers written today by me !!..plzzz CRITICALLY review whenever free..EVERYONE !!!!!
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    Being IAS... 4 U Onlyyy... :-)
  • @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh if i am allowed to review i just read your flash flood answer.

    1. Flash flood isnt heavy precipitation , heavy precipitation is a reason for flash flood.
    2. you have underlined vocab terms and not terms that highlight issue or probs
    3. environmental crime would have been a better substitiute for environmwntal murdering.
    4. need not underline nature's fury.
    5. and the irony is we mutilate nature and then blame it for these calamities.
    6. the points of encroachment, violation of regulations should have been made separate points as they really hold value. would have given more content.
    7. A diagram could be a valuable addition
    8. Conclusion needs more point vaala points. Respectiong mother natire rights and human needs . How to do that is what is the demand.
    9. structuring is applaudable

    hope i wasnt mean. i might be wrong but thats what i felt.
    2016 - Rank < 500 , 2017 - no balls, 2018 - game on.
  • 24aug questions ...plz review n give ur true n valuable feedback
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  • @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh sir ji, I read your fundamental duties and cultural intervention questions.
    My take-
    In cultural intervention question your examples are nice. But I think that your conclusion can become more balanced if you also highlight the negatives of judicial intervention. Like sometimes excessive judicial intervention makes process of reform more difficult by engendering greater resistance. Also highlight importance of social reform involving civil society, educational institutions etc.we should not rely just on judiciary.
    For fundamental duties you can further elaborate on their importance for example for example, they make citizens active participants in nation building and thus increase transparency.
  • @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh and others kindly review my previous year question's.
    @IWRA @Kek you too kindly review.
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  • Please evaluate my answers too. They might be of inferior quality however, they are written exactly under 7 minutes each and I haven't read any specific material before attempting them. Please tell whether they're along right linrs of thinking or not. Thank you.
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    “Whatever it is you're seeking won't come in the form you're expecting.”
  • edited August 2016

    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh if i am allowed to review i just read your flash flood answer.

    1. Flash flood isnt heavy precipitation , heavy precipitation is a reason for flash flood.
    2. you have underlined vocab terms and not terms that highlight issue or probs
    3. environmental crime would have been a better substitiute for environmwntal murdering.
    4. need not underline nature's fury.
    5. and the irony is we mutilate nature and then blame it for these calamities.
    6. the points of encroachment, violation of regulations should have been made separate points as they really hold value. would have given more content.
    7. A diagram could be a valuable addition
    8. Conclusion needs more point vaala points. Respectiong mother natire rights and human needs . How to do that is what is the demand.
    9. structuring is applaudable

    hope i wasnt mean. i might be wrong but thats what i felt.

    Choti Singh ji ..
    I would like to point few points which came to my mind , as I read your answer :
    -What you wrote in answer is definition of "cloud burst" , not flash flood. Cloud burst may lead to flash floods, provided we don't have mitigation system in place.

    - one can also write about encroachment of natural lakes ( eg. J&K) and wetlands .
    - then may be we could bring in wetlands policy as a passing mention.

    Further comments r welcome. :)
  • harry90 said:

    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh and others kindly review my previous year question's.
    @IWRA @Kek you too kindly review.

    Read your Regulatory wala question..!

    More than enough points are covered
    Right interpretation
    Examples para are lengthy but they did their job
    Concluding with ARC is good..! Little more specificity can be added like

    Instead of writing Politkcal acc to legislature, try to write Submitting annual reports detailing explanation on decisions taken to state/central leg..!

    Structure could be like this,
    Desired objectives of Reg Inst
    Necessity for autonomy. Here, writing institution specific issues other than general issues would enrich the content with diversity..! Like RBI and debt mgmnt issue, trai and telecom pricin, etc 5-6 points.
    Then, Suggest ways and means. Being brief and specific fetch marks..! Rather than writing Transparency and ACC for all answers..!

    Prelims : 2/2. Mains : 0/2. 24 years. "Thats how you devour a whale ; One bite at a time"
  • edited August 2016
    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh
    1Ans-.Plus points-
    Good handwrtng,did justice to ol parts of questn,intro is good.
    2.But tell me who will maintain dese(ur Tau :wink: )
    Ivc n town planning. I did it in intro.
    Water harvestin n national building,flood plains being dumped for construction.
    In conclusion-u did good to maintain abt aviral dhara,which i didnt.But i talk abt future prospective smart cities,Slum managemnts etc.

    Q4.Its comperative analysis
    1.again good handwrtng vis a vis mine.
    2.U mention albedo,I didnt.
    3.U linked new oil resources wid energy security,I linked also wid competitive global pricing,curbing CAD,FD n multiplier effect on investmnt,employment.
    Baki olmost same.

    Q.5. As in words of BrahMos shandar-zabardast-zindabad :smiley:
  • Kek said:

    harry90 said:

    @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh and others kindly review my previous year question's.
    @IWRA @Kek you too kindly review.

    Read your Regulatory wala question..!

    More than enough points are covered
    Right interpretation
    Examples para are lengthy but they did their job
    Concluding with ARC is good..! Little more specificity can be added like

    Instead of writing Politkcal acc to legislature, try to write Submitting annual reports detailing explanation on decisions taken to state/central leg..!

    Structure could be like this,
    Desired objectives of Reg Inst
    Necessity for autonomy. Here, writing institution specific issues other than general issues would enrich the content with diversity..! Like RBI and debt mgmnt issue, trai and telecom pricin, etc 5-6 points.
    Then, Suggest ways and means. Being brief and specific fetch marks..! Rather than writing Transparency and ACC for all answers..!

    Thank you friend, got your point
  • yaar koi secure synopsis compilation ka link de do...
  • @chipad_banda boss u indebted me with such an in depth critical review.. will surely improve on these counts ..plus will review ur answers with same depth one day ;) Shukriya


    @harry90 shukriya.. points noted


    @steelalmirah sir g dhanyawad ..for pointing out the grave mistake !! Hawk eye view !! :)

    @Achcontender sir g thankss for the anatomy and analogy of answers :)
    Being IAS... 4 U Onlyyy... :-)
  • edited August 2016
    .
    Being IAS... 4 U Onlyyy... :-)
  • I will TRY to review answers of most of the people submitting answers here or providing some extra points on already reviewed by someone else..but will do in free time after reading thoroughly !! :)

    All the Besttt :) KEEP WRITING KEEP REVIEWING !!!
    Being IAS... 4 U Onlyyy... :-)
  • Why aren't images being uploaded here? It is just showing uploading indefinitely.
    CSE 2016 Indian Police Service ( IPS )
  • To @all please review mine. I have started recently. Wud love all critical suggestions. Plz
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    दूर रह पाये जो हमसे दम कहा मंजिल मे है... सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल मे है
    देखना है जोर कितना बाजू ए कातिल मे है ।I
  • Thnx captain sir. yes sir i have overshooted the limit and realized at the half way. sure i wll practice to bring it down.
    दूर रह पाये जो हमसे दम कहा मंजिल मे है... सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल मे है
    देखना है जोर कितना बाजू ए कातिल मे है ।I
  • @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh Can we post answers to questions from Insights/Vision here ? (me not following forum marathon)
  • To @all please review mine. I have started recently. Wud love all critical suggestions. Plz

    Intro could have been shorter. You exceeded the limit because of saying same thing in long way. This needs improvement. Use egs,/ stats to substantiate reasons. Reasons could have been more logical arranged (most imp. one 1st). But reasons stated are really nice and to the point. Can we use Eg. in place of For Example ?
    Underline thoda ache se kardo. After reason abrubtly started policy measures (Could have, In this context, following can be taken ...). Again logical arrangement. Good points though. Conclusion missing.

    Sorry for being too critical, but thats how we will improve.
  • @Aks
    1. Skill India Question
    Intro could have been the second paragraph. Skill India & make in India could have been related in better way. Analysis part is good. I think First time in answer we shouldn't use any short form (Eg. First use Non Performing Assets (NPA) then use NPA subsequently) => may be wrong :-/
    Steps of gov. could have been arranged more logically based on importance. 3 point of steps doesn't sound appropriate. Rest are good. Well substantiated reasons. Just one more small paragraph conclusion would have been cool. But I know answer already bada ho gaya tha. Any ways good attempt. All the best.
  • hope16 said:

    To @all please review mine. I have started recently. Wud love all critical suggestions. Plz

    Intro could have been shorter. You exceeded the limit because of saying same thing in long way. This needs improvement. Use egs,/ stats to substantiate reasons. Reasons could have been more logical arranged (most imp. one 1st). But reasons stated are really nice and to the point. Can we use Eg. in place of For Example ?
    Underline thoda ache se kardo. After reason abrubtly started policy measures (Could have, In this context, following can be taken ...). Again logical arrangement. Good points though. Conclusion missing.

    Sorry for being too critical, but thats how we will improve.
    Hope bhai. I am indebted for your review and valuable suggestions. This whole initiative is abt critically review and help specially the novice like me bcoz upsc is going to treat us all in the Ruddest way.
    I have noted down all the points and sure will incorporate in my future attempts. Again thnx bro.
    दूर रह पाये जो हमसे दम कहा मंजिल मे है... सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल मे है
    देखना है जोर कितना बाजू ए कातिल मे है ।I
  • Hi friends,

    I am new to answer writing so came up with a doubt regarding structure of an answer -
    Example(Vision ques) : While some argue that Article 3 provides usurping powers to the center at the cost of states, according to others it enables the parliament to maintain and preserve federalism. Discuss.

    Sol 1 structure:
    -Introduction - Explain Article 3
    -Body -
    - Part 1: How does Article 3 provides more powers to the Union?
    - Part 2: How does it maintain federalism ?
    -Conclusion

    Sol 2 structure:
    -Introduction - Explain Article 3
    -Body -
    - Part 1.1: How does Article 3 provides more powers to the Union?
    - Part 1.2: How does Article 3 doesn't provide more powers to the Union?
    - Part 2.1: How does it maintain federalism ?
    - Part 2.2: How doesn't it maintain federalism ?
    -Conclusion

    In these kind of questions, Is Sol 1 sufficient or Sol 2 or any other third approach?
    Please give your feedback guys.

    Thanks!!

  • @abias structure 1 seems to be more accurate as it focuses on the question directly rather than beating around the bush!

    if you have attempted the answer please post it here ...escpeically points regarding how does the article preserve federalism ?
    Sab yeh sochte hai ki hero woh hota hai joh jeetta hai.
    mera yeh manana hai ki hero woh hai joh haarta hai ... kyun ki wohi jaanta hai jeetne ki asli value!
  • edited August 2016
    I am starting late :sweat_smile: Aug 22 answers.
    Request you to kindly review @IWRA @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh @Kek and others :)
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    Good Bye. See you Later.
  • @never_back_down Thanks for the feedback!
    Regarding How Article 3 preserves federalism, My take is as follows -
    1. Stability : Giving powers to states under Article 3 could lead to more units of federation => can cause instability in the federal system.
    2. Delay in decision-making : More units of federation could also lead to delay in consensus => delay in decision making
    3. Merging several states on their consent could lead to creation of very big states => could challenge the existing federal system.
    4. Separatists could use this opportunity to cause disruption and violence.
  • pizza said:

    I am starting late :sweat_smile: Aug 22 answers.
    Request you to kindly review @IWRA @Yo_Yo_Choti_Singh @Kek and others :)



    If I may !

    First of all, you have a beautiful handwriting.

    I think in the cultural space answer, you could have written how the state intervention can be bad too and how it has to be balanced taking into consideration the issue involved and the possible implication and legal standing ! The explanations of the examples could have been shortened and more examples where the intervention was excessive, for eg Santhara ban could be incorporated to give the other side.
    Also the reasons why it is good other than the constitutional backing but social requirements can be incorporated, eg gender equality and sensitivity in bringing ucc and temple entry.

    Rest of them were nice.
    Keep writing.
    All the best !
    Troughs and crests. Life.
  • thank you very much candid creature. Will incorportate all your suggestions in my future attempts. :)
    Good Bye. See you Later.
  • abias said:

    @never_back_down Thanks for the feedback!
    Regarding How Article 3 preserves federalism, My take is as follows -
    1. Stability : Giving powers to states under Article 3 could lead to more units of federation => can cause instability in the federal system.
    2. Delay in decision-making : More units of federation could also lead to delay in consensus => delay in decision making
    3. Merging several states on their consent could lead to creation of very big states => could challenge the existing federal system.
    4. Separatists could use this opportunity to cause disruption and violence.

    abias said:

    @never_back_down Thanks for the feedback!
    Regarding How Article 3 preserves federalism, My take is as follows -
    1. Stability : Giving powers to states under Article 3 could lead to more units of federation => can cause instability in the federal system.
    2. Delay in decision-making : More units of federation could also lead to delay in consensus => delay in decision making
    3. Merging several states on their consent could lead to creation of very big states => could challenge the existing federal system.
    4. Separatists could use this opportunity to cause disruption and violence.

    Good points ! For conclusion you can mention that since the constitution came into force ,article 3 has always been used in consensus with the state legislatures and various stakeholders except in the case of andhra Pradesh! So the idea behind giving powers to the union by the constitution makers have not been misused!
    Sab yeh sochte hai ki hero woh hota hai joh jeetta hai.
    mera yeh manana hai ki hero woh hai joh haarta hai ... kyun ki wohi jaanta hai jeetne ki asli value!
  • edited September 2016
    @pizza sir g..my Opinion

    Positives-

    #excellent handwriting

    #good content

    #point format listing

    #dealing with different parts separately

    etc

    TO BE IMPROVED AREAS-

    # Word limit bitterly butchered.. so most answers are OF NO USE unless and untill you can compress them to 200 words sharp 8- 9 minutes maximum !!..writing more is MORE IMPORTANT than writing in excellent handwriting in this exam..so you can easily deteriorate 25% handwriting for 10% more speed..do that practice right now.. (IF YOU ARE NOT A SUPER HUMAN WHO CAN WRITE 250 WORDS IN SUCH A NICE HANDWRITING IN 9 MINUTES !!)


    #Intro in most answers is Extra long..(ex Flash flood/Augmented reality etc)...no need of so much details.. save words and use them for body crux!!

    # linkages between body paras is missing or can be improved in few questions ..focus on that..learn few good connecting phrases for better APPEARANCE !!

    # i feel Some necessary relevant content missing in 1 2 answers BUT that shall be okk bcz no one can write 100% points in real xam.. !! So this last point criticism is superfluous except that you should try to READ wider on issues if you can..atleast after writing them !!

    ATB !! KEEP WRITING :)
    Being IAS... 4 U Onlyyy... :-)
  • abias said:

    Hi friends,

    I am new to answer writing so came up with a doubt regarding structure of an answer -
    Example(Vision ques) : While some argue that Article 3 provides usurping powers to the center at the cost of states, according to others it enables the parliament to maintain and preserve federalism. Discuss.

    Sol 1 structure:
    -Introduction - Explain Article 3
    -Body -
    - Part 1: How does Article 3 provides more powers to the Union?
    - Part 2: How does it maintain federalism ?
    -Conclusion

    Sol 2 structure:
    -Introduction - Explain Article 3
    -Body -
    - Part 1.1: How does Article 3 provides more powers to the Union?
    - Part 1.2: How does Article 3 doesn't provide more powers to the Union?
    - Part 2.1: How does it maintain federalism ?
    - Part 2.2: How doesn't it maintain federalism ?
    -Conclusion

    In these kind of questions, Is Sol 1 sufficient or Sol 2 or any other third approach?
    Please give your feedback guys.

    Thanks!!

    bhai i feel in introduction aim should be to contextualize the question rather than explaining article itself.. u can start with some example why it has been asked.. then go on as per ur structure 2.. i am no expert.. but i firmly believe aim should be to bring complete picutre... moreover as question is Discuss.. so don't provide solutions and way forward only discuss in light of present events
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